8 ms·

Things I Should Have Known at 20

418 points by pkapur86 14y ago

SkyMarshal 14y ago
I thought this was going to be BS, as I do all numbered lists [1], but it's actually pretty good. Here's a TLDR, but the elaborations on each point are worth reading: 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. 2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you. 3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention. 4. Connect with everyone, all the time. 5. Don’t waste time being shy. 6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over. 7. Have as much contact as possible with older people. 8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too. 9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW. 10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible. 11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences. 12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem. 13. Learn to program. 14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young. 15. Learn to cook 16. Sleep well 17. Get a reminder app for everything 18. Choose something huge to do 19. Get known for one thing. 20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone. [1] Change the title to "Things I Should Have Known at 20" http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
- pkapur86 14y ago
  Thanks for that. Updated title.
- rimantas 14y ago
  > 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different idea. > 2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you. You can only educate yourself. However institutions can help a lot. As for outdated curriculum: guess how old Newtonian physics and calculus is. Now think how many still have problem grasping these. > 3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention. Agree with the first part. The second part is oxymoron. > 4. Connect with everyone, all the time. Bullshit. > 5. Don’t waste time being shy. Bullshit. > 6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over. Ok. > 7. Have as much contact as possible with older people. Why? > 8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too. Why? > 9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW. Why? Do I need to do the crazy stuff at all? Also, not sure about the whole getting more conservative thing. > 10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible. Ok. > 11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences. Whatever. > 12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem. Whatever. > 13. Learn to program. Why? Why program, not plumbing? I think people to often conflate programming and reasoning skill. > 14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young. How about not getting fat? >15. Learn to cook Ok > 16. Sleep well Ok > 17. Get a reminder app for everything Bullshit. > 18. Choose something huge to do Ok > 19. Get known for one thing. Whatever. > 20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Mostly true. But you can be a good help for someone who really tries to change. My addition: don't make shallow lists like this.
  - sukuriant 14y ago
    Why not? What makes it bullshit?
  - zobzu 14y ago
    Thanks
  - maigret 14y ago
    Most of your why? can be answered by reading the actual post.
  - rehack 14y ago
    > 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different idea. He is actually right, in several ways. For example, how do you find the average joke posted by a friend on Facebook? Also TV is called the idiot box for a reason. And its not easy to break the addictive traps. And this is just one way. Similarly if one _thinks_ there is a lot of weight in other points as well. But of course one has to interpret them in one's own context.
    - watmough 14y ago
      I just started watching CCTV (Chinese State TV in English - Broadcasting locally from 'Cornroe' Texas), and the contrast with ABC/NBC/CBS etc., is amazing. Actually foreign news, not just US forces adventures, and human interest. Do yourself a favor and watch at least source of foreign news, such as the BBC, CCTV, CNN Intl, Al Jazeera etc.
  - Dirlewanger 14y ago
    Concerning your conservative remark: hands down the best high school class I took was my US government class. It taught one all the shit about the political process...practical stuff (as opposed to the literary significance of Hamlet) every adult should know in order to make informed voting decisions. Stuff that one most likely will not learn anywhere else unless they put effort into doing so (and we all know how motivated the general public is to do that). One of the things they touched upon in the early chapters was how people, in general, are more liberal in their youth and, as they acquire wealth and other serious assets (mortgage, family, 20 foot boat, etc), they become more set in their ways and thus, conservative. Makes sense when you think about it...
raldi 14y ago
#21: Floating navbars are an abomination and make your site incredibly frustrating to read on a mobile device -- especially in landscape mode. At least put an X button on that thing.
- dfc 14y ago
  #21(b) X buttons will not save a floating navbar with a "digital clock font."
  - jarek 14y ago
    Fun fact: the technical term is "seven-segment display character representations."
    - raldi 14y ago
      Even when there are clearly more than seven segments?
      - jarek 14y ago
        You're right, this one has nine, I didn't look very closely. I guess you could still call them SSD-like...
- maytc 14y ago
  #22 Write a responsive design website
  - richardlblair 14y ago
    #22 B: Use skeleton (getskeleton.com). It will save you time. This will give you more time for 1-20.
- majormajor 14y ago
  The Subscribe by Email floater is what drove me batty, on a laptop. Stuff floating to the left not apparently docked to anything should move when I scroll! Edit: it's a good list, though. Content > presentation, when it comes to actual reading material.
DodgyEggplant 14y ago
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance (Dave Barry)
- bluekeybox 14y ago
  The thing is also, if you never get up, you'll never learn.
fumar 14y ago
It is a pretty solid list. I am 25 and these are things that would have helped me at 20. I am trying to accomplish some of these now. 3. I used to read a book per week. I stopped and now I need to get back. 9. I never thought I would be a conservative person. I see the difference between my younger cousins and I. 10. I am jobless. I definitely am trying to eliminate costs. 13. I started taking Udacity classes. I have a business degree. It has been harder than I imagined. I still am motivated to learn more languages besides python. 14. I go to the gym six days per week. I ride my bike everywhere I go. 20. A very simple statement. That is very true.
- prophetjohn 14y ago
  13) A word of advice based on what I perceive your experience level to be: focus more on really learning Python than amassing a list of languages with whose syntax you are familiar. Once you master Python, then Java, Ruby, etc. will be easy to learn. Employers understand this. The ones you want to work for, at least.
  - richardlblair 14y ago
    Agreed. Too many people who are new to programming assume they need to learn all the languages. What you really need to learn is the theory behind each lesson. When learning loops don't think "so this is how you do a loop", rather think about why you are looping, when, and what types of loops there are. All the languages (listed above) have looping mechanisms, and you will use them for the same reasons you did in python. You will know when to use loops, and then you can just look up the syntax for the language you are currently in.
- cantankerous 14y ago
  I think when he mentions conservatism, it's more in the context of reducing the presence of risk in your activities as you age.
- natep 14y ago
  Stay motivated, but keep in mind that your body gains strength/endurance/etc during your rest periods, not while exercising and breaking down muscle. Unless you're seeing good results, I'd consider more full rest days.
swalsh 14y ago
If I could go back to when I was 20, i'd have myself memorize this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology) Would have saved me 3 agonizing years.
- planetguy 14y ago
  I'd memorize: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnidaria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnidaria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_Maryland http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_M...
  - noname123 14y ago
    At a tender age of 20, were you sir a Johns Hopkins Biology student faced with an essay question in a final exam about the types of reproduction in the Cnidaria phylum? But after the exam and with nothing further to lose, you tried to get to The Block to escape the nonsensical world of jellyfish sex for something more practical; however, lacking directions ended up in a even sketchier part of town and during some ensuing endeavors, caught the claps? And finally experiencing natural selection yourself. Only way one'd memorize those three things.
blackhole 14y ago
According to this, I'm actually doing pretty good for being 21.
jlarocco 14y ago
Interesting list, but the presentation and layout is terrible. Limiting the size of the page horizontally improves readability. Limiting the size of the page vertically is just annoying.
dfc 14y ago
I think #8 is silly at best. I'm not even sure I know what is meant by "cooler," but whatever the definition the statement does not seem like sage advice from an elder. I am 32 now; I got over thinking about who was cool and who was not when I was 15. I would add something about not burning bridges.
- lengarvey 14y ago
  I read that point more as: "You end up being like the people you hang out with". So if you want to be a successful programmer, hang out with other successful programmers. If you want to be a successful businessperson hang out with other successful businesspeople. It's just a different way of saying: Your network matters and is way more important than most geeks would like to think.
- cferwin 14y ago
  It probably has something to do with the "don't waste time being shy" one. Spending time with outgoing ("cool") people could help with that.
  - pyre 14y ago
    I think it has to do with not being average/mediocre. Basically hang out with people that are pushing the envelope (for various definitions of envelope), and hopefully you will be lifted up too.
- crusso 14y ago
  Far from silly. The characteristics he mentioned on this one: (by doing cooler things, being more laid back, accepting, ambitious, etc.) Those are mostly about developing the characteristics of a leader -- someone others admire and want to follow.
  - dfc 14y ago
    How many adults talk about Alice being cooler than Bob? Furthermore ambitious and laid back? am·bi·tious (adjective) 1. Having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed. 2. Intended to satisfy high aspirations and therefore difficult to achieve. laid back (adjective) 1. Relaxed or unhurried. 2. Free from stress; easygoing; carefree.
pippy 14y ago
This is a fantastic list, though I have to nitpick on this one: >2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you Except if you learn the fundamentals, instead of the specifics. Learn paradigms and methodologies, instead of individual systems and practices. This way as time goes on you've always got something to fall back on.
- esusatyo 14y ago
  I think he was referring to the general idea of fully trusting something to educate you. People make mistakes, including those who are teaching you. I think what he meant is that we also need to do our homework and do our own research from time to time.
kenter 14y ago
I am 36 and admit that 19 out of 20 of this suits me. Disagree with #4. I think it leads to waste of time.
klbarry 14y ago
None of these are bad things, but they are not universal truths or musts.
gatsby 14y ago
Previous discussion: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058
rauljara 14y ago
The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for them it will work for everyone. Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many people who've exposed their own shallow foolishness trying too hard to be cool. If it worked for the author, fine. And I'm sure there exist people for whom that is actually all right advice. But life is full of edge cases and exceptions, and no one should act like their life should be the prototype for everyone else's.
- bretthoerner 14y ago
  Given the "I" in the title I'm pretty sure he's trying to speak to his past self.
  - dfc 14y ago
    But since it is not in his private diary it seems obvious that he is speaking to others.
    - TheCowboy 14y ago
      Sharing on the Internet on the off-chance that someone else might derive some benefit from it. Or putting yourself and ideas out there to let people take them apart and see what holds or what you can improve.
- westicle 14y ago
  I feel a no true scotsman coming on, but are those people actually cool? Or are they just posers? I read the advice not as "spend time with people who have a well engineered social image" but "spend time with people who are genuinely more interesting, knowledgeable, capable, effective than you are".
  - LordJavathe3rd 14y ago
alanh 14y ago
This isn’t a permalink, and it took me forever to find one (neither title nor date are permalinks? conventions mean nothing?) Submission URL should be changed to: http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/ http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...
squidpie 14y ago
This list highlights the one lesson I see repeated in almost all advice about life: "Be an Extrovert, and if you aren't, act like one."
- MPSimmons 14y ago
  Exactly. Fake it till you make it.
DigitalSea 14y ago
The only way to succeed in life is to fail. This article reads like it is a definite list of commands and rules to abide by for a great life forgoing the fact that no two lives are the same. There are a few good tid-bits of info in this article, but if there is one thing in life you should know it's you will fail and thinking that learning from the mistakes of others will safeguard you from failure is a sure fire way of being doomed to a life of failure.
- jakejake 14y ago
  That is true advice and you can actually accomplish a lot by adjusting your attitude about failure. I personally try to consider something a success as long as I attempt it - regardless of the actual outcome. If I don't even try, that is failure to me. If I try and it doesn't work - that's still a success because I made an attempt and most likely learned something along the way.
- deleted 14y ago
  [deleted]
duckduckgouser 14y ago
This article is obviously written by someone (at least mentally) under the age of 35. Always try to be cooler and more accepting than others? WTF. I gave that up years ago. There too much to deal with in life without worrying about what is cool.
- nzealand 14y ago
  I started to write a similar list out for my son to read later on in life. It was mostly bullshit. I like his comment about relationships however.
  - CamperBob2 14y ago
    My parents indoctrinated me with Kipling's "If." It's certainly as good a list as this one, for better or worse.
a_bonobo 14y ago
I'm not a fan of speed reading. In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks you'll be able to give a brief summary. But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading, ultimately helping you in making similar conclusions in differing areas, which is at least why I read: To broaden my own horizon, not to parrot-like mimic what other people think. Also: >Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken. Not sure about this one either - having had a few relationships from that department I know that I learned a lot about people in general and had amazing experiences, something which I couldn't have learned from a relationship with a person who's "normal". Of course ultimately, it's not worth it in the long run.
- dredmorbius 14y ago
  On "fixing": ultimately, people don't get fixed. My experience is that they tend to become more of who they are with age. Looking back over people I've known for three and going on four decades, it's amazing how early the fundamentals of personality are laid down, though there can be substantial changes especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Past that, traumatic experiences (war, violence, drugs, abuse) can literally leave brain (and emotional) scars. There's a huge difference between enjoying the eccentricities of someone, and trying to change/fix them. There's a large class of eccentrics who are very interesting/entertaining if you keep them at a modest distance, though they can be explosive or toxic/harmful if you get them too close. The corollary is, of course, you're broken too to many people. The key is finding someone who's no more or less broken than you.
- zobzu 14y ago
  speed reading is fun. it ends up generating people who just tell you a few key sentences or words they have read, genuinely thinking they're saying something smart/that make sense etc. While they generally don't grasp the meaning, subject, of what they're saying. It's this must-have-read-everything syndrome, but you don't actually gain anything from it. Just like the hundred of news items on HN tbh.
vinaytrivedi 14y ago
It's great that you took the opportunity to reflect on your life. I would have enjoyed seeing more context to some of the points though. Given the HN community, "Learn to program" might be a consensus, but I would love to get more of your thoughts on it. Why? Any stories? I pick this point as just an example, but I felt there were more than a few places where some anecdotes would have worked very well.
srl 14y ago
> Get a reminder app for everything While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the inevitable fatigue).
SquareWheel 14y ago
"Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your decision making process when the opposite is actually true." This is the very opposite of how I've been trying to live my life. I do not know what to think of that.
- javert 14y ago
  That's interesting. What do you mean? How have you been trying to live your life?
  - SquareWheel 14y ago
    Well, I've always considered emotional decisions to be poorer than decisions made with logic. Say if you're considering buying a new thing, is it just an impulsion to get the endorphin rush, or logically do you need that item? Or maybe it's a moral question. You're 20. A friend's cute sister wants to have a beer with you. Logically you can see where it could lead and the negative impact it will have on your friend and yours relationship. On the other hand, you're getting all sorts of cues from your emotions to go for it. That's evolution for you, we're wired that way. So these two things are at two very opposite ends of the spectrum. I've considered logical decision making to be a superior route for some time, and I thought that was somewhat well accepted. To hear the opposite just kind of threw me.
    - javert 14y ago
      Personally, I agree with you, here, and that has always been my policy. It seems to me like the author of the article agrees, too, though. I think he's saying that shyness comes from putting your emotions first, and I assume he thinks shyness is a bad thing.
      - SquareWheel 14y ago
        You know, I think I read the quote wrong. As I read it back I think I agree. Whoops!
LordJavathe3rd 14y ago
Here is my list. The other person has a small mind, but you guys should already know that. 1. Burn bridges to the ground. People you grew up with are not the relationships you made after having decided what you will do with your life. 2. Leave your family behind, they will only drag you down. 3. Reinvent your field of interest. The methodoligies used to progress it to it's current level most certainly weren't through, accurate, or designed from a large perspective. 4. After you grow up from asking questions for other people to answer, begin to ask questions no one knows the answer to. Find answers to those questions which are important to you. 5. Look around you, observe the people of your city, observe how it was designed, learn why it is dysfunctional. People are stupid, so don't let them have any say so in your life. 6. Computer Science is largely untapped. It's a great field for thinkers and builders to make their own. We will soon have an intelligence explosion and those who are controlling it will reign supreme. Be one of those people. 7. Never ever depend on the analysis of another person. If someone is influential to you and it is affecting your decisions in life. Stop. Learn enough of what you think they know in order to make better assessments.
sown 14y ago
For me, #5, being shy, is more about the reinforced belief -- after a life time of observation -- that no one wants my opinion regarding any topic.
- SoftwareMaven 14y ago
  If I look at my surface-level emotions, that's what I see. If I scrape deeper, I realize it is more related to me not connecting, so my opinions don't seem to resonate. If I dig even deeper, I realize it is often me projecting how I expect somebody will respond, thereby circumventing the need for them to actually respond. But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me to ignore it. (FWIW, I appreciated your opinion on this. This point struck e, too, but it wasn't until I saw your comment that so closely echoed my own feelings that I stopped to put more thought into it.)
muerdeme 14y ago
From my experience, these are things I wish I had known, not should have known, at 20. As Rod Stewart said, "I wish that I knew what I know now... when I was younger."
virbage 14y ago
And don't forget sunscreen.
CamperBob2 14y ago
What if I already saw Fight Club?
pg 14y ago
Any book worth reading is worth reading slowly.
- jf 14y ago
  And more than once.
  - deleted 14y ago
    [deleted]
- yelsgib 14y ago
  What's the slowest book you've read?
  - pg 14y ago
    There are several different types of reading slowly. Math is slow because you have to work things out as you read it. Books written very long ago are slow because I read them like a detective, looking not just at what the author means to say, but also at what he's saying implicitly about how things were at the time. Other books I read slowly because they're so good I don't want them to end. I used to have to make a conscious effort to make Patrick O'Brian novels last, and I stopped reading them at about number 12, to save the rest for later. (I worry though that I wouldn't like them so much now.)
    - reneherse 14y ago
      If I could do it over, I'd read O'Brian's novels with several months to a year between each one (perhaps one every winter and summer solstice). There's really something to be said about savoring such an authentically detailed, nuanced, and intellectual universe. As it is, I find my recollections of the Aubrey-Maturin adventures muddled and vague, since I burned through the first 20 at an addict's pace. Not recommended.
    - timclark 14y ago
      They keep going with the same level of quality until the very end. Even the three draft chapters of the unfinished 21st volume left me wanting more.
tensor 14y ago
Number two is flat out wrong. The majority of knowledge that you need to know is not bleeding edge and does not become outdated by the time a curriculum is formed. In fact, you can't even understand the bleeding edge research without first understanding what came before it. If by institutions, we are talking about universities, then they are one of the best places to access vast amounts of information and experts on different domains that you'll ever find. Most of us are just too young to realize it and don't care enough about learning to make use of those resources. Hell, we see article after article here on hacker news about how horrible it is that science papers are so often paywalled. Yet nearly everyone went through university during which time they probably had free access to nearly every single relevant english science article on earth. Perhaps if people bothered to learn a fraction of what is available in just the computer science or engineering departments of their university we wouldn't see the same old 50 year old technologies being reinvented again and again. Hey look! It's event driven frameworks again! The next greatest thing that's 50 years old! The only part of point two I like is to not have faith. Never have faith in anything. Always observe, reason, and experiment.
- charlieflowers 14y ago
  See, I read it differently. I think his point there is about being passive, as in, "I don't have to go out and get knowledge, because it is my school's job to install knowledge into me." He didn't explicitly use the word "passive", but he mentions "faith", and relying on the institution "to educate you." Right on the money -- even if you're in forced schooling, you need to go out and get knowledge. Plus, think about all the programming curricula out there. How many are just mediocre Java certification programs? If you want really outstanding programming skills, you're going to have to go get them ... possibly using a university along the way (possibly not). So his point # 2 resonated strongly with me.
- nadam 14y ago
  "Perhaps if people bothered to learn a fraction of what is available in just the computer science or engineering departments of their university we wouldn't see the same old 50 year old technologies being reinvented again and again." The problem is that for most people (be it salaryman or enterpreneur) knowing a lot of computer science (and other academic stuff) is irrelevant. I mean knowing the basics is good, but learning a lot of it is irrelevant compared to other things (connections, social skills, dealing with pressure, dealing with boredom, capacity to see through complex systems, luck, experience, talent (in fact different kinds of talents)). Even the companies which seem to prefer academic kind of knowledge in fact prefer (and test for) raw talent of some kind. Of course if your goal is to do research, academy is extremely important. Otherwise (for example if your goal is financial independence) not that much (beyond the basics, but talented people learn the basics pretty quickly).
charlieflowers 14y ago
After item 2, I wanted to upvote, but I forced myself to be patient. By item 16, I had to stop and come upvote it. It's about a 90% match for what I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self. At least I'm doing most of it now.
adventureful 14y ago
Point 20 is wrong. You'll find that everybody is 'broken' in their own special ways. There really isn't any such thing as someone that isn't broken (unless you're talking about serious mental trauma as the definition of "broken"). We all accumulate baggage over a lifetime, and from each relationship; we all have weird quirks and strange behaviors and eccentricities of varying degrees, and weird reactions to things we do or don't like, and so on. Find someone whose 'broken' qualities are acceptable to you (not a deal breaker), or even adorable if you're so lucky.
- rudiger 14y ago
  Point 20 isn't totally wrong. You shouldn't try to “fix” anyone.
  - adventureful 14y ago
    That's definitely true.
- TheSOB88 14y ago
  It's called figurative writing, dude... That's exactly what he means.
adventureful 14y ago
#792: ideas are not that valuable #793: a modest product today, is better than a perfect product next year #794: incorporating, lawyers, accountants, are not that important, build something and then worry about that #795: find a pin, and knock it down; if you never knock down that first pin, you're never going to knock the rest down #796: force yourself to get very good at selling; selling yourself, selling your vision, selling your product, etc.
shin_lao 14y ago
These lists always miss the point. For example, the list is most likely right about sleep. However, if you're not sleeping enough you'll most likely say "It's ok man, it's under control". Only when experiencing personally the damages of sleep deprivation you'll say "I should sleep more". Not because you read it on a list or your friend tells you. As for six packs, yes, it's important, because it will insulate you from 95% of back pain. But who's going to do stomach crunches after reading such list? Céline said it better than me: Experience is a lantern that lights only the carrier (L'expérience est une lanterne qui n'éclaire que celui qui la porte).
- nazgulnarsil 14y ago
  crunches have nothing to do with a six pack. follow the link he provided.
  - shin_lao 14y ago
    It's a bit OOT, but, allow me to retort. I'm not a big fan of intermittent fasting or any 'program' for that matter. What I'd like to say, from personal experience, is that nothing beats a balanced diet and regular exercise. No program, no "method". Just an old fashioned healthy life. And sorry, but if you want a six packs, at some point, you'll have to sweat for it.
    - StavrosK 14y ago
      Nobody said you don't have to sweat for it. I'm currently in the process of getting one, and I do no crunches (although I'm sure they help). Also, a sixpack has nothing to do with fitness (other than that you incidentally get fit). It's purely for aesthetic reasons. Me, I was working out anyway, so I figured I'd lose the fat to look lean as well.
    - nazgulnarsil 14y ago
      programs help people transition to healthier habits. I don't "follow" leangains in the sense that I don't check calories and workouts against some set in stone plan, but my lifestyle looks pretty similar to a leangains program.
backbonetutes 14y ago
r0fl what a joke of an article. desire, desire, desire
ricardobeat 14y ago
I think it's a pretty decent list. Can't understand all the negativity.
gizzlon 14y ago
Liked it, but he kind of goes against himself: "Otherwise known as morons on the internet telling me about the world like they know better. God, these people are unbelievable" http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/ http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/ ops..
sentinel 14y ago
An old man once told me I shouldn't follow anyone's advice and just figure shit out for myself in life. I wasn't sure what to do...
zobzu 14y ago
Be superman! Or you know, you can also just 1/ live 2/ think, learn, try on your own instead of reading blogs that are telling you to be superman (cause of course you've the will power for that right?) works rather well.
yason 14y ago
The thing I knew when I was 20 is to take everything with a grain of salt and think it through yourself and refit the lesson in your life. What's true in someone else's life often isn't true in your life. I knew it but I just didn't believe it. As an adult, I know that's more true than ever and I'm able to believe it, yet only partially. I'm working on it. When you think things yourself then you're not bound by the limits that other people before you have set. You don't need to be bound by "what's true and what's right": you can rediscover your own life in a very different setting. But it's a courageous path and I'm not always so courageous. I'm working on it.
bootload 14y ago
#51 Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, you still screw up ~ http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions
tudorw 14y ago
Learn to ignore good advice, it's the same skill used to ignore bad :)
tocomment 14y ago
How do I learn to read with high retention? I'd love to do that. Currently I feel like the words I read are falling out of the back of my head :-(
yashchandra 14y ago
"You will become more conservative over time" Could not agree more with this. When I was 20, man I was crazy. Now, everything scares me. I am only 30.
maked00 14y ago
Another MLM wonder. Check out the totally egregious 'contest' designed to spam the tweet-o-sphere. Perfect use for a time machine, check-out these know-it-alls later in life, when life has thrown them a few curve balls, and their bodies are falling apart in their 80s.
mxfh 14y ago
I assume the author is in dire need of a list of things he should have known at age 30+.
jawr 14y ago
I really enjoyed this post, a couple of things touched a note. Thanks.
hoops 14y ago
"8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too" Oh dear, I don't think so.
jcfrei 14y ago
I upvoted this post. however the author would do well in further explaining or expanding his pieces of advice. a lot of them are true in a specific setting, or for special occasions - they are to my understanding - not generalizable directions for your life. > eg. in my opinion: Read as much as you can and The world is trying to keep you stupid really go together. Read as much as necessary to overcome common misconceptions and educate yourself. don't spend weeks speed reading thru the twilight series. > Find people that are cooler than you is a poorly worded advice / way to become less socially inept. Eg if you want to stop wasting [your] time being shy, you need to learn from people who are more comfortable in all the social interactions you go thru every day.
cschmidt 14y ago
The OP link now leads to a different blog post. This seems to be the listed post: http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/ http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...
ZephyrP 14y ago
(Bias Alert: I'm 20) Forgive me, but this strongly reads like the thoughts of a man who was once twenty many years ago :) I am always very interested in the advice of my elders, but I have difficulty swallowing your advice. (Secondary Bias Alert: I've already got a preexisting set of rules to follow) These articles on what I'm missing out on at 20 both seem to carry some deeply held beliefs that emerge as a result of some societal preconceptions about the origin of success and happiness. You stress breadth but you don' seem to put much stock in depth. It is safe to say I have learned everything I know from studying computers very intently. In this century especially, it is entirely possible (perhaps preferable) to understand the many human disciplines by examining them in that context of your own discipline. Very disparate fields coexist in any sufficiently complex system. The intersection between computer science and literature, finance, anthropology, semiotics and a slew of other fine arts, social and hard sciences seems especially apparent to me. I don't think I could fully appreciate (whatever that designation implies) Postmodernism or Bell's Inequalities through any other context. Nontechnical books tell us more about the current cultural climate than any sort of great human truth. As far as steadfastness on goals - I started working on a NoSQL database for high speed transactions when I was 19, I now make a considerable portion of my living doing support through this open source, entirely altruistic and ultimately exploratory process. I wasn't "sticking to" anything, I was hanging out and having fun and not really thinking about solving any kind of money problem (perhaps this betrays my own naivete). Regardless, I don't think I could have learned Erlang, Mathematics or anything about databases without a very considerable amount of "wandering". I personally can't fathom the idea of sinking 5 years of your life into something that leaves you with some sense of inescapable dread. I can't help but think you've framed 'youth' in a cliched middle-life tone - crossing nostalgic sentiments about bygones days and entirely present-day concerns (kids these days!). As far as negotiation: I am always very blunt (sometimes to a fault), but pithy negotiation has always struck me as nothing more than an intentional disregard for another human being's dignity. I once worked at a Del Taco when I was 15 and absolutely hated the many people who tried to nickel and dime the drive-through. Negotiation as a sales process is entirely different than dealing with people who work very hard, and whom you choose o pay to provide you with a service. I don't care much for reminder apps or pomodoro or any of these 'productivity enhancing' apps, not to say you can't benefit from them. I can, however, speak anecdotally to the efficacy of hard physical work and deliberate focus on improving productivity. We let ourselves get away with too much, too often. I think you don't emphasize compassion for other people enough. It is far too easy to become so enraptured in your own schemes that you forget how valuable it is to be in good accord with others and to have a good name. If we cultivate ourselves with an awareness that's rooted in 'reminders' and success and not human welfare, we won't get far. ~~~ Side Note I wrote these out many months ago to codify some internal dialog spanning many years on what sort of system of action is the most profitable use of my time. I have imposed these on myself for a very long time with varying (but monotonically increasing!) degrees of success over time. I consider having rules like these to have been a considerable source of permanent, lasting change on myself. Maybe they will be useful to some other young people. - Stop "collecting" programming languages beyond what is pragmatically useful or is genuinely spiritually/intellectually enlightening. - Don't hold onto things I no longer need, try to think critically about if buying something will make me happier. - Don't take yourself so seriously, but think seriously about the world. - Never commit myself to action with only partial confidence. - Do something to detach myself from desire every day - Try not to prefer anything over another thing - Never complain - Don't let myself be guided by either love or lust - Try hard to judge people only by their skill in their craft and how they treat others, not by their charisma or attractiveness.
deleted 14y ago
[deleted]

418 points by pkapur86 14y ago

I thought this was going to be BS, as I do all numbered lists [1], but it's actually pretty good. Here's a TLDR, but the elaborations on each point are worth reading: 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. 2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you. 3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention. 4. Connect with everyone, all the time. 5. Don’t waste time being shy. 6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over. 7. Have as much contact as possible with older people. 8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too. 9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW. 10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible. 11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences. 12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem. 13. Learn to program. 14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young. 15. Learn to cook 16. Sleep well 17. Get a reminder app for everything 18. Choose something huge to do 19. Get known for one thing. 20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone. [1] Change the title to "Things I Should Have Known at 20" http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

pkapur86 14y ago
Thanks for that. Updated title.
rimantas 14y ago
> 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different idea. > 2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you. You can only educate yourself. However institutions can help a lot. As for outdated curriculum: guess how old Newtonian physics and calculus is. Now think how many still have problem grasping these. > 3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention. Agree with the first part. The second part is oxymoron. > 4. Connect with everyone, all the time. Bullshit. > 5. Don’t waste time being shy. Bullshit. > 6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over. Ok. > 7. Have as much contact as possible with older people. Why? > 8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too. Why? > 9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW. Why? Do I need to do the crazy stuff at all? Also, not sure about the whole getting more conservative thing. > 10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible. Ok. > 11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences. Whatever. > 12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem. Whatever. > 13. Learn to program. Why? Why program, not plumbing? I think people to often conflate programming and reasoning skill. > 14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young. How about not getting fat? >15. Learn to cook Ok > 16. Sleep well Ok > 17. Get a reminder app for everything Bullshit. > 18. Choose something huge to do Ok > 19. Get known for one thing. Whatever. > 20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Mostly true. But you can be a good help for someone who really tries to change. My addition: don't make shallow lists like this.
- sukuriant 14y ago
  Why not? What makes it bullshit?
- zobzu 14y ago
  Thanks
- maigret 14y ago
  Most of your why? can be answered by reading the actual post.
- rehack 14y ago
  > 1. The world is trying to keep you stupid. No it doesn't. Quite the opposite. While the idea that less educated are easier to manipulate is true the item on the list says expresses a different idea. He is actually right, in several ways. For example, how do you find the average joke posted by a friend on Facebook? Also TV is called the idiot box for a reason. And its not easy to break the addictive traps. And this is just one way. Similarly if one _thinks_ there is a lot of weight in other points as well. But of course one has to interpret them in one's own context.
  - watmough 14y ago
    I just started watching CCTV (Chinese State TV in English - Broadcasting locally from 'Cornroe' Texas), and the contrast with ABC/NBC/CBS etc., is amazing. Actually foreign news, not just US forces adventures, and human interest. Do yourself a favor and watch at least source of foreign news, such as the BBC, CCTV, CNN Intl, Al Jazeera etc.
- Dirlewanger 14y ago
  Concerning your conservative remark: hands down the best high school class I took was my US government class. It taught one all the shit about the political process...practical stuff (as opposed to the literary significance of Hamlet) every adult should know in order to make informed voting decisions. Stuff that one most likely will not learn anywhere else unless they put effort into doing so (and we all know how motivated the general public is to do that). One of the things they touched upon in the early chapters was how people, in general, are more liberal in their youth and, as they acquire wealth and other serious assets (mortgage, family, 20 foot boat, etc), they become more set in their ways and thus, conservative. Makes sense when you think about it...

raldi 14y ago

#21: Floating navbars are an abomination and make your site incredibly frustrating to read on a mobile device -- especially in landscape mode. At least put an X button on that thing.

dfc 14y ago
#21(b) X buttons will not save a floating navbar with a "digital clock font."
- jarek 14y ago
  Fun fact: the technical term is "seven-segment display character representations."
  - raldi 14y ago
    Even when there are clearly more than seven segments?
    - jarek 14y ago
      You're right, this one has nine, I didn't look very closely. I guess you could still call them SSD-like...
maytc 14y ago
#22 Write a responsive design website
- richardlblair 14y ago
  #22 B: Use skeleton (getskeleton.com). It will save you time. This will give you more time for 1-20.
majormajor 14y ago
The Subscribe by Email floater is what drove me batty, on a laptop. Stuff floating to the left not apparently docked to anything should move when I scroll! Edit: it's a good list, though. Content > presentation, when it comes to actual reading material.

DodgyEggplant 14y ago

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance (Dave Barry)

bluekeybox 14y ago
The thing is also, if you never get up, you'll never learn.

fumar 14y ago

It is a pretty solid list. I am 25 and these are things that would have helped me at 20. I am trying to accomplish some of these now. 3. I used to read a book per week. I stopped and now I need to get back. 9. I never thought I would be a conservative person. I see the difference between my younger cousins and I. 10. I am jobless. I definitely am trying to eliminate costs. 13. I started taking Udacity classes. I have a business degree. It has been harder than I imagined. I still am motivated to learn more languages besides python. 14. I go to the gym six days per week. I ride my bike everywhere I go. 20. A very simple statement. That is very true.

prophetjohn 14y ago
13) A word of advice based on what I perceive your experience level to be: focus more on really learning Python than amassing a list of languages with whose syntax you are familiar. Once you master Python, then Java, Ruby, etc. will be easy to learn. Employers understand this. The ones you want to work for, at least.
- richardlblair 14y ago
  Agreed. Too many people who are new to programming assume they need to learn all the languages. What you really need to learn is the theory behind each lesson. When learning loops don't think "so this is how you do a loop", rather think about why you are looping, when, and what types of loops there are. All the languages (listed above) have looping mechanisms, and you will use them for the same reasons you did in python. You will know when to use loops, and then you can just look up the syntax for the language you are currently in.
cantankerous 14y ago
I think when he mentions conservatism, it's more in the context of reducing the presence of risk in your activities as you age.
natep 14y ago
Stay motivated, but keep in mind that your body gains strength/endurance/etc during your rest periods, not while exercising and breaking down muscle. Unless you're seeing good results, I'd consider more full rest days.

swalsh 14y ago

If I could go back to when I was 20, i'd have myself memorize this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology) Would have saved me 3 agonizing years.

planetguy 14y ago
I'd memorize: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnidaria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cnidaria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_Maryland http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_streets_in_Baltimore,_M...
- noname123 14y ago
  At a tender age of 20, were you sir a Johns Hopkins Biology student faced with an essay question in a final exam about the types of reproduction in the Cnidaria phylum? But after the exam and with nothing further to lose, you tried to get to The Block to escape the nonsensical world of jellyfish sex for something more practical; however, lacking directions ended up in a even sketchier part of town and during some ensuing endeavors, caught the claps? And finally experiencing natural selection yourself. Only way one'd memorize those three things.

blackhole 14y ago

According to this, I'm actually doing pretty good for being 21.

jlarocco 14y ago

Interesting list, but the presentation and layout is terrible. Limiting the size of the page horizontally improves readability. Limiting the size of the page vertically is just annoying.

dfc 14y ago

I think #8 is silly at best. I'm not even sure I know what is meant by "cooler," but whatever the definition the statement does not seem like sage advice from an elder. I am 32 now; I got over thinking about who was cool and who was not when I was 15. I would add something about not burning bridges.

lengarvey 14y ago
I read that point more as: "You end up being like the people you hang out with". So if you want to be a successful programmer, hang out with other successful programmers. If you want to be a successful businessperson hang out with other successful businesspeople. It's just a different way of saying: Your network matters and is way more important than most geeks would like to think.
cferwin 14y ago
It probably has something to do with the "don't waste time being shy" one. Spending time with outgoing ("cool") people could help with that.
- pyre 14y ago
  I think it has to do with not being average/mediocre. Basically hang out with people that are pushing the envelope (for various definitions of envelope), and hopefully you will be lifted up too.
crusso 14y ago
Far from silly. The characteristics he mentioned on this one: (by doing cooler things, being more laid back, accepting, ambitious, etc.) Those are mostly about developing the characteristics of a leader -- someone others admire and want to follow.
- dfc 14y ago
  How many adults talk about Alice being cooler than Bob? Furthermore ambitious and laid back? am·bi·tious (adjective) 1. Having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed. 2. Intended to satisfy high aspirations and therefore difficult to achieve. laid back (adjective) 1. Relaxed or unhurried. 2. Free from stress; easygoing; carefree.

pippy 14y ago

This is a fantastic list, though I have to nitpick on this one: >2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you Except if you learn the fundamentals, instead of the specifics. Learn paradigms and methodologies, instead of individual systems and practices. This way as time goes on you've always got something to fall back on.

esusatyo 14y ago
I think he was referring to the general idea of fully trusting something to educate you. People make mistakes, including those who are teaching you. I think what he meant is that we also need to do our homework and do our own research from time to time.

kenter 14y ago

I am 36 and admit that 19 out of 20 of this suits me. Disagree with #4. I think it leads to waste of time.

klbarry 14y ago

None of these are bad things, but they are not universal truths or musts.

gatsby 14y ago

Previous discussion: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058

rauljara 14y ago

The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for them it will work for everyone. Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many people who've exposed their own shallow foolishness trying too hard to be cool. If it worked for the author, fine. And I'm sure there exist people for whom that is actually all right advice. But life is full of edge cases and exceptions, and no one should act like their life should be the prototype for everyone else's.

bretthoerner 14y ago
Given the "I" in the title I'm pretty sure he's trying to speak to his past self.
- dfc 14y ago
  But since it is not in his private diary it seems obvious that he is speaking to others.
  - TheCowboy 14y ago
    Sharing on the Internet on the off-chance that someone else might derive some benefit from it. Or putting yourself and ideas out there to let people take them apart and see what holds or what you can improve.
westicle 14y ago
I feel a no true scotsman coming on, but are those people actually cool? Or are they just posers? I read the advice not as "spend time with people who have a well engineered social image" but "spend time with people who are genuinely more interesting, knowledgeable, capable, effective than you are".
- LordJavathe3rd 14y ago

alanh 14y ago

This isn’t a permalink, and it took me forever to find one (neither title nor date are permalinks? conventions mean nothing?) Submission URL should be changed to: http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/ http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...

squidpie 14y ago

This list highlights the one lesson I see repeated in almost all advice about life: "Be an Extrovert, and if you aren't, act like one."

MPSimmons 14y ago
Exactly. Fake it till you make it.

DigitalSea 14y ago

The only way to succeed in life is to fail. This article reads like it is a definite list of commands and rules to abide by for a great life forgoing the fact that no two lives are the same. There are a few good tid-bits of info in this article, but if there is one thing in life you should know it's you will fail and thinking that learning from the mistakes of others will safeguard you from failure is a sure fire way of being doomed to a life of failure.

jakejake 14y ago
That is true advice and you can actually accomplish a lot by adjusting your attitude about failure. I personally try to consider something a success as long as I attempt it - regardless of the actual outcome. If I don't even try, that is failure to me. If I try and it doesn't work - that's still a success because I made an attempt and most likely learned something along the way.
deleted 14y ago
[deleted]

duckduckgouser 14y ago

This article is obviously written by someone (at least mentally) under the age of 35. Always try to be cooler and more accepting than others? WTF. I gave that up years ago. There too much to deal with in life without worrying about what is cool.

nzealand 14y ago
I started to write a similar list out for my son to read later on in life. It was mostly bullshit. I like his comment about relationships however.
- CamperBob2 14y ago
  My parents indoctrinated me with Kipling's "If." It's certainly as good a list as this one, for better or worse.

a_bonobo 14y ago

I'm not a fan of speed reading. In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks you'll be able to give a brief summary. But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading, ultimately helping you in making similar conclusions in differing areas, which is at least why I read: To broaden my own horizon, not to parrot-like mimic what other people think. Also: >Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken. Not sure about this one either - having had a few relationships from that department I know that I learned a lot about people in general and had amazing experiences, something which I couldn't have learned from a relationship with a person who's "normal". Of course ultimately, it's not worth it in the long run.

dredmorbius 14y ago
On "fixing": ultimately, people don't get fixed. My experience is that they tend to become more of who they are with age. Looking back over people I've known for three and going on four decades, it's amazing how early the fundamentals of personality are laid down, though there can be substantial changes especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Past that, traumatic experiences (war, violence, drugs, abuse) can literally leave brain (and emotional) scars. There's a huge difference between enjoying the eccentricities of someone, and trying to change/fix them. There's a large class of eccentrics who are very interesting/entertaining if you keep them at a modest distance, though they can be explosive or toxic/harmful if you get them too close. The corollary is, of course, you're broken too to many people. The key is finding someone who's no more or less broken than you.
zobzu 14y ago
speed reading is fun. it ends up generating people who just tell you a few key sentences or words they have read, genuinely thinking they're saying something smart/that make sense etc. While they generally don't grasp the meaning, subject, of what they're saying. It's this must-have-read-everything syndrome, but you don't actually gain anything from it. Just like the hundred of news items on HN tbh.

vinaytrivedi 14y ago

It's great that you took the opportunity to reflect on your life. I would have enjoyed seeing more context to some of the points though. Given the HN community, "Learn to program" might be a consensus, but I would love to get more of your thoughts on it. Why? Any stories? I pick this point as just an example, but I felt there were more than a few places where some anecdotes would have worked very well.

srl 14y ago

> Get a reminder app for everything While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the inevitable fatigue).

SquareWheel 14y ago

"Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your decision making process when the opposite is actually true." This is the very opposite of how I've been trying to live my life. I do not know what to think of that.

javert 14y ago
That's interesting. What do you mean? How have you been trying to live your life?
- SquareWheel 14y ago
  Well, I've always considered emotional decisions to be poorer than decisions made with logic. Say if you're considering buying a new thing, is it just an impulsion to get the endorphin rush, or logically do you need that item? Or maybe it's a moral question. You're 20. A friend's cute sister wants to have a beer with you. Logically you can see where it could lead and the negative impact it will have on your friend and yours relationship. On the other hand, you're getting all sorts of cues from your emotions to go for it. That's evolution for you, we're wired that way. So these two things are at two very opposite ends of the spectrum. I've considered logical decision making to be a superior route for some time, and I thought that was somewhat well accepted. To hear the opposite just kind of threw me.
  - javert 14y ago
    Personally, I agree with you, here, and that has always been my policy. It seems to me like the author of the article agrees, too, though. I think he's saying that shyness comes from putting your emotions first, and I assume he thinks shyness is a bad thing.
    - SquareWheel 14y ago
      You know, I think I read the quote wrong. As I read it back I think I agree. Whoops!

LordJavathe3rd 14y ago

Here is my list. The other person has a small mind, but you guys should already know that. 1. Burn bridges to the ground. People you grew up with are not the relationships you made after having decided what you will do with your life. 2. Leave your family behind, they will only drag you down. 3. Reinvent your field of interest. The methodoligies used to progress it to it's current level most certainly weren't through, accurate, or designed from a large perspective. 4. After you grow up from asking questions for other people to answer, begin to ask questions no one knows the answer to. Find answers to those questions which are important to you. 5. Look around you, observe the people of your city, observe how it was designed, learn why it is dysfunctional. People are stupid, so don't let them have any say so in your life. 6. Computer Science is largely untapped. It's a great field for thinkers and builders to make their own. We will soon have an intelligence explosion and those who are controlling it will reign supreme. Be one of those people. 7. Never ever depend on the analysis of another person. If someone is influential to you and it is affecting your decisions in life. Stop. Learn enough of what you think they know in order to make better assessments.

sown 14y ago

For me, #5, being shy, is more about the reinforced belief -- after a life time of observation -- that no one wants my opinion regarding any topic.

SoftwareMaven 14y ago
If I look at my surface-level emotions, that's what I see. If I scrape deeper, I realize it is more related to me not connecting, so my opinions don't seem to resonate. If I dig even deeper, I realize it is often me projecting how I expect somebody will respond, thereby circumventing the need for them to actually respond. But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me to ignore it. (FWIW, I appreciated your opinion on this. This point struck e, too, but it wasn't until I saw your comment that so closely echoed my own feelings that I stopped to put more thought into it.)

muerdeme 14y ago

From my experience, these are things I wish I had known, not should have known, at 20. As Rod Stewart said, "I wish that I knew what I know now... when I was younger."

virbage 14y ago

And don't forget sunscreen.

CamperBob2 14y ago

What if I already saw Fight Club?

pg 14y ago

Any book worth reading is worth reading slowly.

jf 14y ago
And more than once.
- deleted 14y ago
  [deleted]
yelsgib 14y ago
What's the slowest book you've read?
- pg 14y ago
  There are several different types of reading slowly. Math is slow because you have to work things out as you read it. Books written very long ago are slow because I read them like a detective, looking not just at what the author means to say, but also at what he's saying implicitly about how things were at the time. Other books I read slowly because they're so good I don't want them to end. I used to have to make a conscious effort to make Patrick O'Brian novels last, and I stopped reading them at about number 12, to save the rest for later. (I worry though that I wouldn't like them so much now.)
  - reneherse 14y ago
    If I could do it over, I'd read O'Brian's novels with several months to a year between each one (perhaps one every winter and summer solstice). There's really something to be said about savoring such an authentically detailed, nuanced, and intellectual universe. As it is, I find my recollections of the Aubrey-Maturin adventures muddled and vague, since I burned through the first 20 at an addict's pace. Not recommended.
  - timclark 14y ago
    They keep going with the same level of quality until the very end. Even the three draft chapters of the unfinished 21st volume left me wanting more.

tensor 14y ago

Number two is flat out wrong. The majority of knowledge that you need to know is not bleeding edge and does not become outdated by the time a curriculum is formed. In fact, you can't even understand the bleeding edge research without first understanding what came before it. If by institutions, we are talking about universities, then they are one of the best places to access vast amounts of information and experts on different domains that you'll ever find. Most of us are just too young to realize it and don't care enough about learning to make use of those resources. Hell, we see article after article here on hacker news about how horrible it is that science papers are so often paywalled. Yet nearly everyone went through university during which time they probably had free access to nearly every single relevant english science article on earth. Perhaps if people bothered to learn a fraction of what is available in just the computer science or engineering departments of their university we wouldn't see the same old 50 year old technologies being reinvented again and again. Hey look! It's event driven frameworks again! The next greatest thing that's 50 years old! The only part of point two I like is to not have faith. Never have faith in anything. Always observe, reason, and experiment.

charlieflowers 14y ago
See, I read it differently. I think his point there is about being passive, as in, "I don't have to go out and get knowledge, because it is my school's job to install knowledge into me." He didn't explicitly use the word "passive", but he mentions "faith", and relying on the institution "to educate you." Right on the money -- even if you're in forced schooling, you need to go out and get knowledge. Plus, think about all the programming curricula out there. How many are just mediocre Java certification programs? If you want really outstanding programming skills, you're going to have to go get them ... possibly using a university along the way (possibly not). So his point # 2 resonated strongly with me.
nadam 14y ago
"Perhaps if people bothered to learn a fraction of what is available in just the computer science or engineering departments of their university we wouldn't see the same old 50 year old technologies being reinvented again and again." The problem is that for most people (be it salaryman or enterpreneur) knowing a lot of computer science (and other academic stuff) is irrelevant. I mean knowing the basics is good, but learning a lot of it is irrelevant compared to other things (connections, social skills, dealing with pressure, dealing with boredom, capacity to see through complex systems, luck, experience, talent (in fact different kinds of talents)). Even the companies which seem to prefer academic kind of knowledge in fact prefer (and test for) raw talent of some kind. Of course if your goal is to do research, academy is extremely important. Otherwise (for example if your goal is financial independence) not that much (beyond the basics, but talented people learn the basics pretty quickly).

charlieflowers 14y ago

After item 2, I wanted to upvote, but I forced myself to be patient. By item 16, I had to stop and come upvote it. It's about a 90% match for what I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self. At least I'm doing most of it now.

adventureful 14y ago

Point 20 is wrong. You'll find that everybody is 'broken' in their own special ways. There really isn't any such thing as someone that isn't broken (unless you're talking about serious mental trauma as the definition of "broken"). We all accumulate baggage over a lifetime, and from each relationship; we all have weird quirks and strange behaviors and eccentricities of varying degrees, and weird reactions to things we do or don't like, and so on. Find someone whose 'broken' qualities are acceptable to you (not a deal breaker), or even adorable if you're so lucky.

rudiger 14y ago
Point 20 isn't totally wrong. You shouldn't try to “fix” anyone.
- adventureful 14y ago
  That's definitely true.
TheSOB88 14y ago
It's called figurative writing, dude... That's exactly what he means.

adventureful 14y ago

#792: ideas are not that valuable #793: a modest product today, is better than a perfect product next year #794: incorporating, lawyers, accountants, are not that important, build something and then worry about that #795: find a pin, and knock it down; if you never knock down that first pin, you're never going to knock the rest down #796: force yourself to get very good at selling; selling yourself, selling your vision, selling your product, etc.

shin_lao 14y ago

These lists always miss the point. For example, the list is most likely right about sleep. However, if you're not sleeping enough you'll most likely say "It's ok man, it's under control". Only when experiencing personally the damages of sleep deprivation you'll say "I should sleep more". Not because you read it on a list or your friend tells you. As for six packs, yes, it's important, because it will insulate you from 95% of back pain. But who's going to do stomach crunches after reading such list? Céline said it better than me: Experience is a lantern that lights only the carrier (L'expérience est une lanterne qui n'éclaire que celui qui la porte).

nazgulnarsil 14y ago
crunches have nothing to do with a six pack. follow the link he provided.
- shin_lao 14y ago
  It's a bit OOT, but, allow me to retort. I'm not a big fan of intermittent fasting or any 'program' for that matter. What I'd like to say, from personal experience, is that nothing beats a balanced diet and regular exercise. No program, no "method". Just an old fashioned healthy life. And sorry, but if you want a six packs, at some point, you'll have to sweat for it.
  - StavrosK 14y ago
    Nobody said you don't have to sweat for it. I'm currently in the process of getting one, and I do no crunches (although I'm sure they help). Also, a sixpack has nothing to do with fitness (other than that you incidentally get fit). It's purely for aesthetic reasons. Me, I was working out anyway, so I figured I'd lose the fat to look lean as well.
  - nazgulnarsil 14y ago
    programs help people transition to healthier habits. I don't "follow" leangains in the sense that I don't check calories and workouts against some set in stone plan, but my lifestyle looks pretty similar to a leangains program.

backbonetutes 14y ago

r0fl what a joke of an article. desire, desire, desire

ricardobeat 14y ago

I think it's a pretty decent list. Can't understand all the negativity.

gizzlon 14y ago

Liked it, but he kind of goes against himself: "Otherwise known as morons on the internet telling me about the world like they know better. God, these people are unbelievable" http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/ http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/ ops..

sentinel 14y ago

An old man once told me I shouldn't follow anyone's advice and just figure shit out for myself in life. I wasn't sure what to do...

zobzu 14y ago

Be superman! Or you know, you can also just 1/ live 2/ think, learn, try on your own instead of reading blogs that are telling you to be superman (cause of course you've the will power for that right?) works rather well.

yason 14y ago

The thing I knew when I was 20 is to take everything with a grain of salt and think it through yourself and refit the lesson in your life. What's true in someone else's life often isn't true in your life. I knew it but I just didn't believe it. As an adult, I know that's more true than ever and I'm able to believe it, yet only partially. I'm working on it. When you think things yourself then you're not bound by the limits that other people before you have set. You don't need to be bound by "what's true and what's right": you can rediscover your own life in a very different setting. But it's a courageous path and I'm not always so courageous. I'm working on it.

bootload 14y ago

#51 Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, you still screw up ~ http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions

tudorw 14y ago

Learn to ignore good advice, it's the same skill used to ignore bad :)

tocomment 14y ago

How do I learn to read with high retention? I'd love to do that. Currently I feel like the words I read are falling out of the back of my head :-(

yashchandra 14y ago

"You will become more conservative over time" Could not agree more with this. When I was 20, man I was crazy. Now, everything scares me. I am only 30.

maked00 14y ago

Another MLM wonder. Check out the totally egregious 'contest' designed to spam the tweet-o-sphere. Perfect use for a time machine, check-out these know-it-alls later in life, when life has thrown them a few curve balls, and their bodies are falling apart in their 80s.

mxfh 14y ago

I assume the author is in dire need of a list of things he should have known at age 30+.

jawr 14y ago

I really enjoyed this post, a couple of things touched a note. Thanks.

hoops 14y ago

"8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too" Oh dear, I don't think so.

jcfrei 14y ago

I upvoted this post. however the author would do well in further explaining or expanding his pieces of advice. a lot of them are true in a specific setting, or for special occasions - they are to my understanding - not generalizable directions for your life. > eg. in my opinion: Read as much as you can and The world is trying to keep you stupid really go together. Read as much as necessary to overcome common misconceptions and educate yourself. don't spend weeks speed reading thru the twilight series. > Find people that are cooler than you is a poorly worded advice / way to become less socially inept. Eg if you want to stop wasting [your] time being shy, you need to learn from people who are more comfortable in all the social interactions you go thru every day.

cschmidt 14y ago

The OP link now leads to a different blog post. This seems to be the listed post: http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/ http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...

ZephyrP 14y ago

(Bias Alert: I'm 20) Forgive me, but this strongly reads like the thoughts of a man who was once twenty many years ago :) I am always very interested in the advice of my elders, but I have difficulty swallowing your advice. (Secondary Bias Alert: I've already got a preexisting set of rules to follow) These articles on what I'm missing out on at 20 both seem to carry some deeply held beliefs that emerge as a result of some societal preconceptions about the origin of success and happiness. You stress breadth but you don' seem to put much stock in depth. It is safe to say I have learned everything I know from studying computers very intently. In this century especially, it is entirely possible (perhaps preferable) to understand the many human disciplines by examining them in that context of your own discipline. Very disparate fields coexist in any sufficiently complex system. The intersection between computer science and literature, finance, anthropology, semiotics and a slew of other fine arts, social and hard sciences seems especially apparent to me. I don't think I could fully appreciate (whatever that designation implies) Postmodernism or Bell's Inequalities through any other context. Nontechnical books tell us more about the current cultural climate than any sort of great human truth. As far as steadfastness on goals - I started working on a NoSQL database for high speed transactions when I was 19, I now make a considerable portion of my living doing support through this open source, entirely altruistic and ultimately exploratory process. I wasn't "sticking to" anything, I was hanging out and having fun and not really thinking about solving any kind of money problem (perhaps this betrays my own naivete). Regardless, I don't think I could have learned Erlang, Mathematics or anything about databases without a very considerable amount of "wandering". I personally can't fathom the idea of sinking 5 years of your life into something that leaves you with some sense of inescapable dread. I can't help but think you've framed 'youth' in a cliched middle-life tone - crossing nostalgic sentiments about bygones days and entirely present-day concerns (kids these days!). As far as negotiation: I am always very blunt (sometimes to a fault), but pithy negotiation has always struck me as nothing more than an intentional disregard for another human being's dignity. I once worked at a Del Taco when I was 15 and absolutely hated the many people who tried to nickel and dime the drive-through. Negotiation as a sales process is entirely different than dealing with people who work very hard, and whom you choose o pay to provide you with a service. I don't care much for reminder apps or pomodoro or any of these 'productivity enhancing' apps, not to say you can't benefit from them. I can, however, speak anecdotally to the efficacy of hard physical work and deliberate focus on improving productivity. We let ourselves get away with too much, too often. I think you don't emphasize compassion for other people enough. It is far too easy to become so enraptured in your own schemes that you forget how valuable it is to be in good accord with others and to have a good name. If we cultivate ourselves with an awareness that's rooted in 'reminders' and success and not human welfare, we won't get far. ~~~ Side Note I wrote these out many months ago to codify some internal dialog spanning many years on what sort of system of action is the most profitable use of my time. I have imposed these on myself for a very long time with varying (but monotonically increasing!) degrees of success over time. I consider having rules like these to have been a considerable source of permanent, lasting change on myself. Maybe they will be useful to some other young people. - Stop "collecting" programming languages beyond what is pragmatically useful or is genuinely spiritually/intellectually enlightening. - Don't hold onto things I no longer need, try to think critically about if buying something will make me happier. - Don't take yourself so seriously, but think seriously about the world. - Never commit myself to action with only partial confidence. - Do something to detach myself from desire every day - Try not to prefer anything over another thing - Never complain - Don't let myself be guided by either love or lust - Try hard to judge people only by their skill in their craft and how they treat others, not by their charisma or attractiveness.

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