disturbed

6 ms·

1. 1.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   I’d like to thank everyone for the support and advice! Your kindness alone made me feel better. You’ve also given me motivation to continue the fight.
2. 2.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thanks. I will look in to it - sounds interesting
3. 3.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thank you!
4. 4.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thank you for your comment. That is absolutely true. I have excuses for everyone except for myself. Intellectually, I realize that, but it’s difficult to fight it. My therapist is trying to help with this. We’ll see how it goes.
5. 5.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thanks. Religion isn’t my cup of tea.
6. 6.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   1. I dread that but it may be one option 3. What do you mean by system design? 5. Not in the US. Here everyone pays taxes and when you retire you get some small pension (a lot of senior people digging through dumpsters for bottles to earn e
7. 7.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thank you
8. 8.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thanks for the links. I will look into them.
9. 9.▲
   by disturbed 7y ago

   Thank you. Yeah I’ve got mortgages and kids. And you are right I do sell myself short sometimes. But on the other hand, there is a lot of young (cheaper) talent on the market that I’d have to be exceptional to get hired (or at least this is
10. 10.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Yes, I am willing to relocate. I will try updating my cv and apply for some positions abroad.
11. 11.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    It’s “no” on all of them except hobbies - I do have one (but it’s fairly recent). Thanks for this. I guess the common thread in all of that is connecting with others. I’ve always been a loner. I don’t know anyone I like spending time with.
12. 12.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    I’m sorry about your condition. Compared to that, my problems are insignificant. I try from time to time to code something... I’ve been learning F# lately. I force myself to sit in front of computer and do something, anything. But, somehow
13. 13.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you for sharing this
14. 14.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you
15. 15.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    I live in a small town, in a small country. If I tried locally the word would get out. I could apply in a different country. I guess I’m afraid of proving myself right that I am incompetent. But, you are right - can’t hurt to try.
16. 16.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you.
17. 17.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you. I get anxious around people. For example, every time I get out of the house I have to prepare mentally. Going to the market store I have to go through possible scenarios in my head. It’s been like that as long as I can remember.
18. 18.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you.
19. 19.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    I don’t know what to say. You are absolutely right. What makes me even more anxious is the life my kids are going to have. How do I teach them to avoid the slavery when even I’m not able to break free.
20. 20.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you.
21. 21.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thanks. Several people recommended cold showers or swimming in cold water. Guess it doesn’t hurt to try.
22. 22.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you! I’ve started seeing a therapist. We’ll see how it goes.
23. 23.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you. This is true. I’ve stopped using all social media (except HN) a year ago. Not sure about HN. Sometimes I read interesting things. Sometimes it makes me anxious and depressed
24. 24.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you. I have been drinking more lately. I guess I should stop. I find it hard to enjoy anything. I was thinking about why is that. I found I don’t like myself at all and I guess deep inside I think I don’t deserve to feel joy. My thera
25. 25.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    I always feel like I’m wasting time and should be learning or trying to find another job. Then I start thinking about what to learn, what could I possibly do, since the domain knowledge I have is about gambling. Then I open the browser and.
26. 26.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thanks
27. 27.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    I’ve never tried it. It’s illegal in my country.
28. 28.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thanks for taking time... I live in south-eastern Europe. Gambling/betting here is rampant. I feel like I’m contributing to the problem, but can’t seem to find the way out.
29. 29.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you. The thought of medication makes me sad, I don’t know why. I am seeing a therapist. Not sure if helps, I’ve only been in three or four sessions. For some reason I don’t like talking to people. Usually I don’t know what to say and
30. 30.▲
    by disturbed 7y ago

    Thank you