7 ms·

The Most Incompetent TSA Story Yet?

108 points by codergirl 15y ago

Anechoic 15y ago
Heh. A couple of years ago I tried to carry on a microphone stand (something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Stage-Stands-7701B-Tripod-Microphone/dp/B000978D58/ http://www.amazon.com/Stage-Stands-7701B-Tripod-Microphone/d... ). TSA freaked, ran it through the x-ray a couple of times, escorted me out of the security area and stood buy while I checked it, watch as it went through the baggage scanner, and then finally allowed me back through the security checkpoint. This story shocks me not at all.
- adanto6840 15y ago
  And yet I've taken a Volcano [1] through TSA's "security" at least 5 times. The first time the TSA agent asked a bit about it and, basically, he said: "oh, it is like a fog machine?" to which I answered "Yes".... From then on, it has been a "fog machine" as far as TSA was concerned... ;-) Admittedly, and sadly, I haven't tried to fly with it within the last two years [and, at that time, I didn't worry about it a bit nor did I clean it obsessively, etc. - these days, though, I'm hesitant to even attempt flying with it]... =\ [1] = http://www.storz-bickel.com/vaporizer/volcano-vaporisation-system.html http://www.storz-bickel.com/vaporizer/volcano-vaporisation-s...
  - codergirl 15y ago
    I think we need a stufftheTSAconfiscated.tumblr.com. I went through for a job interview and I had a cast on and a blow dryer and flat iron in my luggage. They swabbed my cast, and took the items and made me wait while they checked them out. I bet someone walked away that day with perfectly styled hair.
    - jonah 15y ago
      Well, that kinda exists...in auction format: http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=ntsa http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=ntsa
      - X-Istence 15y ago
        I don't see any 8 inch hunting knives, so clearly they haven't learned their lesson ... they let me through security in Denver, Chicago, New York, Newark and Houston with a HUGE blade in the bottom of my computer bag. Noticed it when I was unpacking my bag because I bought a new one... yep, TSA at its finest.
      - jonah 15y ago
        The manager buys everyone in my sister's department seized leathermen for Christmas.
    - damoncali 15y ago
      Confiscated? Hell, they put shit in my bag (a knife, actually): http://blog.ninthyard.com/2009/04/fun-with-government-part-2.html http://blog.ninthyard.com/2009/04/fun-with-government-part-2...
      - codergirl 15y ago
        That's insane. I concede my post, your story is on a whole nother incompetence level.
  - drivebyacct2 15y ago
    Yeah, you have more balls than I do. I wouldn't be caught dead with a Volcano in any of my luggage let alone a carry-on. I'd ship it. Far too paranoid. Mix a little bit of authority with the drug-paranoia culture and there's no way.
  - ars 15y ago
    It is surprisingly difficult to figure out what a volcano IS from browsing the website. Tons of pages of how to use it, and how nice it is, and not one single word about what in the world it's for!
    - ErrantX 15y ago
      Drugs[1] (vaporize, inhale) 1. Commenters may, of course, be using it for other purposes. But that is the general application.
jacques_chester 15y ago
The TSA did them a bit of a favour, confiscating this stuff: http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm
- shaggyfrog 15y ago
  Wow, just look at the ad copy: "The Vortex Water Revitalizer is based upon a revolutionary concept in water treatment. It performs far beyond what any filtration system, distiller or reverse osmosis system will ever do for you. It processes all the water in a direct way, leading it into a double spiral, which creates a powerfull vortex energy field. This uses Mother Nature's own methods of generating energy within the water. One of the results is that water's self-cleaning ability is re-established and the water is being restructured on a molecular level. The Vortex Water Revitalizer will restore the health of your water. It will make the water alive and well again." This kind of derp wouldn't get through an elementary-level science fair. Definitely a lesser-of-the-two-evils kind of situation, though.
  - jacques_chester 15y ago
    "The vortex energy created by a double spiral flowform, restores the natural energy in your water, using Nature's wisdom with a little help from quantum physics" Yahtzee!
- jonah 15y ago
  "Test the running water's temperature with and without the Water Revitalizer. Also test freezing and boiling temperatures." [1] Wow, $498 is cheap to change fundamental laws. ;) [1] http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm#waterlook http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm#waterlook
jacques_chester 15y ago
I can't speak for the TSA, but here in Australia I am routinely "randomly selected" for bomb screening. I have a terrible beard. I know it, my family knows it, my friends know it, people on who drive past on the bus know it. But it conceals the chinese phone directory beneath my jaw, so it stays. But it definitely gets unkempt and quickly. If I forget to clean up before I fly, bam, I'm chosen for the bomb test. If I'm clean shaven or have trimmed that day, I sail through. It's absolutely random, I'm assured. No bias whatsoever. When asked to show a random number generator the staff tend to get a bit grumpy. Appeals to the combinatorial unlikelihood of being chosen so many times in a row fall on dead ears. Because my beard makes me look like a convert to Islam, I get bomb tested. It's as simple as that, in my opinion.
- jedberg 15y ago
  Right after 9/11, I got "randomly selected" just about every time. This was when they were still calling out the last names of the people who had been selected. It was basically a roll call of Arabic sounding names with a few Jews thrown in for good measure (me) and then usually a Smith or a Jones to make it seem random.
- kondro 15y ago
  I've watched them, they are random. If they aren't screening someone, they choose the next person to walk out from the x-ray screening area. If they are screening someone, then they are busy. Given the fact that they probably screen 5-10% of people travelling, I think you've just gotten lucky.
  - beambot 15y ago
    If they alter the screen times based on the incoming queue's composition, then it may not be so "random." (ie. "Oh, there's a scruffy bearded guy in line; hurry up and shoo this clean-shaven fellow right on through.")
    - vacri 15y ago
      I do the opposite. I have to divest a lot of stuff to go through the screener. On the other side, I note how far through the current screening the staffer is, and either speed up or slow down my collection based on that (belts can be quite fiddly if you are determined!). Just make sure you never look directly at them to give the game away. It's only failed the once, when one screener tagged me and let heaps of people go before nabbing me. Apart from that, it seems to work okay.
Evgeny 15y ago
From the comments, made my entire week: They were obviously homeopathic bombs. Security found no traces of explosives, which had been diluted to the point that it wasn't present - thus making the devices even more effective.
antics 15y ago
I've got one of those stories. My parents live on the opposite side of the country. I flew to see them one Christmas and then flew back home. As I unpacked after the trip, I discovered that my huge hunting knife had accidentally been in my carry-on bag the whole time. I had carried it through both Salt Lake and Philadelphia International Airports. Literally no one bothered me about it. Someone once told me that America is "fully prepared for the past" with regards to terrorism. This experience makes me wonder whether even that is really true. And indeed, when I read up on the actual security practices, I discovered that on an alarmingly frequent basis, it is not our security measures that foil terrorists, but their sheer ineptitude. The underwear bomber, the attempted Times Square guy, and a whole host of other idiots had the opportunity to seriously hurt people, and had they even a modicum of expertise, they would have succeeded. Our security forces may be able to take credit for stopping some of these events, but how many? These were incredibly simple strategies, and given that they still couldn't identify and neutralize the threat before it would have been too late, I can't imagine it's an astonishingly high number. In spite of this I'm not worried about terrorism at all. If someone started a security-free airline, I would fly on it every single time I had the option. What does frighten me is that we spend so much money on this stuff. Why isn't the TSA held accountable by the government? (And if it is, why are they so bad at it?) Do we honestly know that increased spending in technology catches more terrorists? We are trying to identify very sparse features, and it is not at all obvious that this is the best way to catch them. On the other hand, the American government has eliminated (I'm told) 200 of Al-Quaeda's top leaders. This seems like a much more effective method for demolishing this behavior.
- phreanix 15y ago
  Same here . I'm a competitive shooter and I've travelled internationally with live ammo lost in my bag that I found after unpacking. Total facepalm moment. It wasn't much, 5-6 rounds but I'm sure enough to get me in heaps of trouble had it been found in my carry-on. Then, they finally did detect something I had forgotten in my backpack again, but it was just airgun pellets, basically little pieces of lead.
  - DanBC 15y ago
drivebyacct2 15y ago
The TSA let me board with a lighter and an aerosol form alcohol. Didn't realize until I'd landed that they'd let me board with materials for a small-scale flamethrower. I donated the lighter to a smoker I saw at the airport and checked the other in my additional luggage before my return flight.
- kijin 15y ago
  Just out of curiosity, what's an aerosol form alcohol and what do you use it for?
  - chc 15y ago
    I think it's called "hairspray".
    - kijin 15y ago
      Don't most hairsprays use hydrocarbons as propellant? Well, either alcohol or hydrocarbons would make a decent flamethrower.
      - drivebyacct2 15y ago
        I had my bases covered, I had both hairspray (yeah, yeah) as well as cologne (which to my naive knowledge is alcohol based). I didn't realize that hairspray wasn't alcohol based, but my amateur experiences with potato guns indicated it's propensity for flammability and explosiveness :).
- dmix 15y ago
  From my understanding you are allowed one lighter in your carry on. I had two one time and had to throw one out.
  - lwat 15y ago
    What could you possibly do with 2 lighters that you could not do with one
DanBC 15y ago
from the comments: > I have a college degree. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa. I work as a substitute teacher, and I make about $8.25 per hour, have no benefits, and have to find alternative work in the summer. $8.25 is £5.24; that's less than UK minimum wage which is £6.08 if you're over 21. I have no idea why Americans accept this. Why are Americans allowing billions to be spent on security theatre while schools struggle for funding?

108 points by codergirl 15y ago

Heh. A couple of years ago I tried to carry on a microphone stand (something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Stage-Stands-7701B-Tripod-Microphone/dp/B000978D58/ http://www.amazon.com/Stage-Stands-7701B-Tripod-Microphone/d... ). TSA freaked, ran it through the x-ray a couple of times, escorted me out of the security area and stood buy while I checked it, watch as it went through the baggage scanner, and then finally allowed me back through the security checkpoint. This story shocks me not at all.

adanto6840 15y ago
And yet I've taken a Volcano [1] through TSA's "security" at least 5 times. The first time the TSA agent asked a bit about it and, basically, he said: "oh, it is like a fog machine?" to which I answered "Yes".... From then on, it has been a "fog machine" as far as TSA was concerned... ;-) Admittedly, and sadly, I haven't tried to fly with it within the last two years [and, at that time, I didn't worry about it a bit nor did I clean it obsessively, etc. - these days, though, I'm hesitant to even attempt flying with it]... =\ [1] = http://www.storz-bickel.com/vaporizer/volcano-vaporisation-system.html http://www.storz-bickel.com/vaporizer/volcano-vaporisation-s...
- codergirl 15y ago
  I think we need a stufftheTSAconfiscated.tumblr.com. I went through for a job interview and I had a cast on and a blow dryer and flat iron in my luggage. They swabbed my cast, and took the items and made me wait while they checked them out. I bet someone walked away that day with perfectly styled hair.
  - jonah 15y ago
    Well, that kinda exists...in auction format: http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=ntsa http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=ntsa
    - X-Istence 15y ago
      I don't see any 8 inch hunting knives, so clearly they haven't learned their lesson ... they let me through security in Denver, Chicago, New York, Newark and Houston with a HUGE blade in the bottom of my computer bag. Noticed it when I was unpacking my bag because I bought a new one... yep, TSA at its finest.
    - jonah 15y ago
      The manager buys everyone in my sister's department seized leathermen for Christmas.
  - damoncali 15y ago
    Confiscated? Hell, they put shit in my bag (a knife, actually): http://blog.ninthyard.com/2009/04/fun-with-government-part-2.html http://blog.ninthyard.com/2009/04/fun-with-government-part-2...
    - codergirl 15y ago
      That's insane. I concede my post, your story is on a whole nother incompetence level.
- drivebyacct2 15y ago
  Yeah, you have more balls than I do. I wouldn't be caught dead with a Volcano in any of my luggage let alone a carry-on. I'd ship it. Far too paranoid. Mix a little bit of authority with the drug-paranoia culture and there's no way.
- ars 15y ago
  It is surprisingly difficult to figure out what a volcano IS from browsing the website. Tons of pages of how to use it, and how nice it is, and not one single word about what in the world it's for!
  - ErrantX 15y ago
    Drugs[1] (vaporize, inhale) 1. Commenters may, of course, be using it for other purposes. But that is the general application.

jacques_chester 15y ago

The TSA did them a bit of a favour, confiscating this stuff: http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm

shaggyfrog 15y ago
Wow, just look at the ad copy: "The Vortex Water Revitalizer is based upon a revolutionary concept in water treatment. It performs far beyond what any filtration system, distiller or reverse osmosis system will ever do for you. It processes all the water in a direct way, leading it into a double spiral, which creates a powerfull vortex energy field. This uses Mother Nature's own methods of generating energy within the water. One of the results is that water's self-cleaning ability is re-established and the water is being restructured on a molecular level. The Vortex Water Revitalizer will restore the health of your water. It will make the water alive and well again." This kind of derp wouldn't get through an elementary-level science fair. Definitely a lesser-of-the-two-evils kind of situation, though.
- jacques_chester 15y ago
  "The vortex energy created by a double spiral flowform, restores the natural energy in your water, using Nature's wisdom with a little help from quantum physics" Yahtzee!
jonah 15y ago
"Test the running water's temperature with and without the Water Revitalizer. Also test freezing and boiling temperatures." [1] Wow, $498 is cheap to change fundamental laws. ;) [1] http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm#waterlook http://www.alivewater.net/prod/owr.htm#waterlook

jacques_chester 15y ago

I can't speak for the TSA, but here in Australia I am routinely "randomly selected" for bomb screening. I have a terrible beard. I know it, my family knows it, my friends know it, people on who drive past on the bus know it. But it conceals the chinese phone directory beneath my jaw, so it stays. But it definitely gets unkempt and quickly. If I forget to clean up before I fly, bam, I'm chosen for the bomb test. If I'm clean shaven or have trimmed that day, I sail through. It's absolutely random, I'm assured. No bias whatsoever. When asked to show a random number generator the staff tend to get a bit grumpy. Appeals to the combinatorial unlikelihood of being chosen so many times in a row fall on dead ears. Because my beard makes me look like a convert to Islam, I get bomb tested. It's as simple as that, in my opinion.

jedberg 15y ago
Right after 9/11, I got "randomly selected" just about every time. This was when they were still calling out the last names of the people who had been selected. It was basically a roll call of Arabic sounding names with a few Jews thrown in for good measure (me) and then usually a Smith or a Jones to make it seem random.
kondro 15y ago
I've watched them, they are random. If they aren't screening someone, they choose the next person to walk out from the x-ray screening area. If they are screening someone, then they are busy. Given the fact that they probably screen 5-10% of people travelling, I think you've just gotten lucky.
- beambot 15y ago
  If they alter the screen times based on the incoming queue's composition, then it may not be so "random." (ie. "Oh, there's a scruffy bearded guy in line; hurry up and shoo this clean-shaven fellow right on through.")
  - vacri 15y ago
    I do the opposite. I have to divest a lot of stuff to go through the screener. On the other side, I note how far through the current screening the staffer is, and either speed up or slow down my collection based on that (belts can be quite fiddly if you are determined!). Just make sure you never look directly at them to give the game away. It's only failed the once, when one screener tagged me and let heaps of people go before nabbing me. Apart from that, it seems to work okay.

Evgeny 15y ago

From the comments, made my entire week: They were obviously homeopathic bombs. Security found no traces of explosives, which had been diluted to the point that it wasn't present - thus making the devices even more effective.

antics 15y ago

I've got one of those stories. My parents live on the opposite side of the country. I flew to see them one Christmas and then flew back home. As I unpacked after the trip, I discovered that my huge hunting knife had accidentally been in my carry-on bag the whole time. I had carried it through both Salt Lake and Philadelphia International Airports. Literally no one bothered me about it. Someone once told me that America is "fully prepared for the past" with regards to terrorism. This experience makes me wonder whether even that is really true. And indeed, when I read up on the actual security practices, I discovered that on an alarmingly frequent basis, it is not our security measures that foil terrorists, but their sheer ineptitude. The underwear bomber, the attempted Times Square guy, and a whole host of other idiots had the opportunity to seriously hurt people, and had they even a modicum of expertise, they would have succeeded. Our security forces may be able to take credit for stopping some of these events, but how many? These were incredibly simple strategies, and given that they still couldn't identify and neutralize the threat before it would have been too late, I can't imagine it's an astonishingly high number. In spite of this I'm not worried about terrorism at all. If someone started a security-free airline, I would fly on it every single time I had the option. What does frighten me is that we spend so much money on this stuff. Why isn't the TSA held accountable by the government? (And if it is, why are they so bad at it?) Do we honestly know that increased spending in technology catches more terrorists? We are trying to identify very sparse features, and it is not at all obvious that this is the best way to catch them. On the other hand, the American government has eliminated (I'm told) 200 of Al-Quaeda's top leaders. This seems like a much more effective method for demolishing this behavior.

phreanix 15y ago
Same here . I'm a competitive shooter and I've travelled internationally with live ammo lost in my bag that I found after unpacking. Total facepalm moment. It wasn't much, 5-6 rounds but I'm sure enough to get me in heaps of trouble had it been found in my carry-on. Then, they finally did detect something I had forgotten in my backpack again, but it was just airgun pellets, basically little pieces of lead.
- DanBC 15y ago

drivebyacct2 15y ago

The TSA let me board with a lighter and an aerosol form alcohol. Didn't realize until I'd landed that they'd let me board with materials for a small-scale flamethrower. I donated the lighter to a smoker I saw at the airport and checked the other in my additional luggage before my return flight.

kijin 15y ago
Just out of curiosity, what's an aerosol form alcohol and what do you use it for?
- chc 15y ago
  I think it's called "hairspray".
  - kijin 15y ago
    Don't most hairsprays use hydrocarbons as propellant? Well, either alcohol or hydrocarbons would make a decent flamethrower.
    - drivebyacct2 15y ago
      I had my bases covered, I had both hairspray (yeah, yeah) as well as cologne (which to my naive knowledge is alcohol based). I didn't realize that hairspray wasn't alcohol based, but my amateur experiences with potato guns indicated it's propensity for flammability and explosiveness :).
dmix 15y ago
From my understanding you are allowed one lighter in your carry on. I had two one time and had to throw one out.
- lwat 15y ago
  What could you possibly do with 2 lighters that you could not do with one

DanBC 15y ago

from the comments: > I have a college degree. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa. I work as a substitute teacher, and I make about $8.25 per hour, have no benefits, and have to find alternative work in the summer. $8.25 is £5.24; that's less than UK minimum wage which is £6.08 if you're over 21. I have no idea why Americans accept this. Why are Americans allowing billions to be spent on security theatre while schools struggle for funding?