taparisbat3

5 ms·

1. 1.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   wow, thanks :)
2. 2.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   Both.
3. 3.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   Can you elaborate on your changes?
4. 4.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   See a therapist if you can.
5. 5.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   I have opened myself to almost everyone near me. No one can help but me. The shame and guilt is deep inside me. It's me who's lost now. They try to be there but still...
6. 6.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   I talked to them about this, they were like : "well how will you earn money?" I feel like it has never been about me, but about my achievements. This has fucked up my sense of self.
7. 7.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   I'm not even sure.. at the moment I'm lost. :)
8. 8.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   I've lived abandonment, verbal and physical svuse, bullying and a war :)
9. 9.▲
   by taparisbat3 8y ago

   It's difficult to sleep well when depressed. Lately I wake up in panic, with only 3hours of bad sleep
10. 10.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I have suicidal ideations, shame and start isolating myself.. This is hard because I wait for people to come toward me but these people don't care so you just end up feeling alone and depressed. I hope to figure this out in my life. Wh
11. 11.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I don't believe in the mission of my work. I actually feel guilty. The mentality around me feels just plain wrong. And collecting with collègues, I think I'm just like you. Superficial chit-chat is difficult for me and I prefer wh
12. 12.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    There's always the possibility to find work on upwork etc to do freelance stuff.
13. 13.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    'one-off tech'? Yes your experience is awesome.
14. 14.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I ordered some actually :) will try and tell you
15. 15.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I don't enjoy it no. But I get to get bored easily with every job I have.
16. 16.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Comparing myself with these super gangsta people around me makes me feel small and weak. The qualities I have seem irrelevant there (empathy, sensibility, helping others, etc)
17. 17.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Thanks mc big g. <3
18. 18.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Thanks. I will do this!
19. 19.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I really feel the lack of empathy. But I need this more than those around me :/ which makes me feel special
20. 20.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I think job is good as what my parents would consider a good job.. :(
21. 21.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Thanks <3
22. 22.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    How do you deal? How old are you?
23. 23.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Same. Dark thoughts about me. Comparing myself etc. Especially if I work alone in the big project. Something about being stuck that recalls my childhood trauma.. (not sure if true or me making the link because of depressed. The trauma is tr
24. 24.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I'm already seeing a therapist and she believes I've lived a weird childhood
25. 25.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Not in NY. I'll take a look at your site. Thank you
26. 26.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I've already felt like this in almost all my jobs. Something about working alone and feeling abandoned in face of responsabilites and stress
27. 27.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Thank you. Do you work remotely?
28. 28.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Thanks for your comment. Lots of insight
29. 29.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    I perceive everything like I'm being thrown away from the group. Often feel out of it. Especially when I'm tired and I don't like the job.
30. 30.▲
    by taparisbat3 8y ago

    Good you got to job easier to go to that will make you happier. I also suffer from ptsd from childhood. I feel alone and abandoned very often.