ruthburr

7 ms·

1. 1.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   My point about the agency of men is more: I know so many men to whom I've pointed out things like the huge gray area presented by compliments, who were glad to have their awareness raised. Not saying men should be policing other people, jus
2. 2.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   I think the parenthetical actually is your most important point. All of the behaviors I've described are perfectly acceptable among known company, but unfortunately not everyone has that fine awareness. I also find sex jokes and toilet humo
3. 3.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   Thanks match, and I agree. You're still not just out at a bar with buddies, you're there with people you've met at a professional event and the professional context should still apply. I think match says it well: >when a group of people
4. 4.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   That's true, women do, but not having been on the receiving end it's harder for me to speak on that, and it's not what the post is about. I think that we can discuss the behaviors of one group of people without the implied assumption that t
5. 5.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   The reason I use "Dude" is an abbreviation for "Type of Dude to Whom This Post is Addressed," as I say in the beginning of the piece - i.e. assuming you're already one of the good guys.
6. 6.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   Innuendo is a really really hard one, because a lot of women appreciate a dirty joke as much as men do. I wish the solution could be "let's go ahead and all be grown-ups about it" but that doesn't seem to be working. So instead I'll say "le
7. 7.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   Thanks tonyarkles, and to clarify: I'm not saying that it's OK for me to indiscriminately go around hugging people, either. I'm saying that in general the only people I hug are people that I know well enough to know that a hug will be OK fr
8. 8.▲
   by ruthburr 13y ago

   Hi guys, a lot of people have made the point that the behaviors that I'm calling out are not so much "sexist" as they are inappropriate, sexual and in general skewed toward women. I agree, "sexist" may not capture all of the shades of meani