14 ms·

I took a look at your previous submissions and I think you've already heard the advice I'd give. If you haven't already, I think it might be useful to contact y

by wicker 11y ago

I took a look at your previous submissions and I think you've already heard the advice I'd give. If you haven't already, I think it might be useful to contact your doctor and at least rule out the possibility of depression. Depression isn't just an attitude, it's an actual chemical imbalance. It's something that happens to all kinds of people and investigating it might lead you to a fix. I've had periods where I've felt that lack of joy or interest and I wondered why I even bothered, but I got some help and now in retrospect I can tell it was terrible to live like that. At least talk to a doctor and bring up the possibility. Tons of people around you struggle with the same thing even while they look so awesome and successful, especially if you're in the valley. I know it feels like you're totally alone but you're really not. At least investigate that your brain chemistry might be a little out of sorts.

girvo 11y ago
Yeah. I've experienced the exact same feeling, and had points in my life where I didn't leave my house for months on end. It was depression that was the cause; CBT, anti-depressants (and exercise soon after) helped fix that and now it's no longer a struggle.
Retric 11y ago
While depression is a real issue, I think people suffer from all the Skinner box reward cycles built into games / apps now days. Cook dinner takes time and some effort, clicking delver now and soon food just shows up. Things that lack that level of reinforcement just seem less interesting. Sure, I could physically travel to interesting places or just click around on Google maps. The joy might not be as great as actually seeing the same thing in person, but places are so much easier to get to online. A physical firing range is seriously intense, but messing around in a FPS does not involve leaving the house and it takes so much less skill. Not to mention something like guitar hero vs. an actual guitar.
- lloydde 11y ago
  Tough love doesn't work here. Logic doesn't penetrate. Worse, I worry you could come across as trivializing addiction, depression and other mental health issues. When in doubt seek help. That is what we need to encourage. And I know first hand how hard it is to seek help and keep seeking it, but the very act can be its own little bit of healing.
  - asgard1024 11y ago
    No, I think parent is exactly right. I feel similar to the OP, but I know for sure it's not a depression. And I think I suffer the same problem the parent described. The real world just seems so messy and complicated compared to virtual worlds. You may call it a mental health issue, but it is neither addiction nor depression; if anything, it's just not being addicted to real world enough.
    - sgift 11y ago
      How do you know it is not depression? This is a very personal topic, but I never thought of myself as depressed until I fell into a hole so deep that I had to search for medical help (and then I still thought about EVERYTHING but depression: High-functional autism, ADHD, whatever ..) - diagnosis and therapy helped me tremendously and looking back there would've been zero chance for me to recognize that I was suffering from depression on my own. It's one of the hallmarks of depression to rationalize it away "don't be such a wuzz ... all is fine, you are lazy, stop doing that", so it's very risky to say "I know for sure it's not a depression" - you are probably the worst judge for that (just to make this clear: It's your life, if you feel all is fine and you just don't want to go out then it is fine, enjoy your life - my comment is only intended as a second perspective on a real serious issue).
      - asgard1024 11y ago
        Depression has certain criteria, for example things like you don't enjoy anything, you feel tired all the time, you consider that you shouldn't live, and so on. I had a mild depression, and I know this is not it. I am happy, I like to meet people from time to time, etc. It's not addiction either - I spend my days on the Internet (or in computer games) a lot, but if I had to spend a week without it, it wouldn't be a problem. I don't have to be connected 24x7 either. I also sometimes abandon the game for no reason. It's really just you don't feel so motivated by the things in the real world compared to virtual possibilities. Let me reiterate, I think parent was spot on when he talked about the "artificial Skinner box of instant rewards", and I don't think there is a psychiatric category describing this. It's not a mental disorder, just like overeating (and being overweight due to that) isn't (usually) a disorder. But yeah, it may be a mental health issue. It's mentally unhealthy behavior, just like eating too much is unhealthy.
maloney 11y ago
"It's an actual chemical imbalance" It's actually a hypothesis that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance.
- gfosco 11y ago
  I wish more people knew this. The entire "chemical imbalance" shtick is a myth. If you are ever told this, your response should be, "What chemical? What level am I at? What level should I be at?".. But, alas, there is no blood test, or any other kind of test, which can yet determine this. That's not science.
  - ars 11y ago
    I agree with you, but you are also losing the message. They are trying to say it's not a matter of willpower that you can just make it go away. It's something real and outside your control. The chemical imbalance part is nonsense, the message it implies is not.
    - UK-AL 11y ago
      If depression caused by terrible things happening, or loneliness, that is not also outside of your control? I've had depressed periods, but it was completely understandable given the situation I was in. I think the whole "chemical imbalance" is an easy fix, rather than trying to fix society, or the situation they are in. It's quick and easy to give pills rather than fix a life. Now i'm sure they're are actual medical causes for depression, but I think its overused.
      - ars 11y ago
        Obviously there is depression caused by events, that type is "easy" to fix because (usually) you can fix the external events, or at least talk about them and come to terms with them. But there is also depression caused by nothing whatsoever. Nothing detectable anyway. People tend not to believe it can be possible, until they experience it (personally or by talking to someone who is experiencing it). Talking about it (therapy) does nothing, because there is nothing bad happening to talk about. The person is just depressed for no reason at all, it's like someone pressed a "be depressed" switch in their brain. The person is aware of it, wants it to stop, and has no control over it at all, and no ability to change it. It's that type that they call "chemical imbalance". The chemical imbalance part is nonsense of course, but the existence of this type of depression is not. > but I think its overused. In TV commercials, yes, I agree. But in real life? No, I don't think it's overused.

by wicker 11y ago

girvo 11y ago

Yeah. I've experienced the exact same feeling, and had points in my life where I didn't leave my house for months on end. It was depression that was the cause; CBT, anti-depressants (and exercise soon after) helped fix that and now it's no longer a struggle.

Retric 11y ago

While depression is a real issue, I think people suffer from all the Skinner box reward cycles built into games / apps now days. Cook dinner takes time and some effort, clicking delver now and soon food just shows up. Things that lack that level of reinforcement just seem less interesting. Sure, I could physically travel to interesting places or just click around on Google maps. The joy might not be as great as actually seeing the same thing in person, but places are so much easier to get to online. A physical firing range is seriously intense, but messing around in a FPS does not involve leaving the house and it takes so much less skill. Not to mention something like guitar hero vs. an actual guitar.

lloydde 11y ago
Tough love doesn't work here. Logic doesn't penetrate. Worse, I worry you could come across as trivializing addiction, depression and other mental health issues. When in doubt seek help. That is what we need to encourage. And I know first hand how hard it is to seek help and keep seeking it, but the very act can be its own little bit of healing.
- asgard1024 11y ago
  No, I think parent is exactly right. I feel similar to the OP, but I know for sure it's not a depression. And I think I suffer the same problem the parent described. The real world just seems so messy and complicated compared to virtual worlds. You may call it a mental health issue, but it is neither addiction nor depression; if anything, it's just not being addicted to real world enough.
  - sgift 11y ago
    How do you know it is not depression? This is a very personal topic, but I never thought of myself as depressed until I fell into a hole so deep that I had to search for medical help (and then I still thought about EVERYTHING but depression: High-functional autism, ADHD, whatever ..) - diagnosis and therapy helped me tremendously and looking back there would've been zero chance for me to recognize that I was suffering from depression on my own. It's one of the hallmarks of depression to rationalize it away "don't be such a wuzz ... all is fine, you are lazy, stop doing that", so it's very risky to say "I know for sure it's not a depression" - you are probably the worst judge for that (just to make this clear: It's your life, if you feel all is fine and you just don't want to go out then it is fine, enjoy your life - my comment is only intended as a second perspective on a real serious issue).
    - asgard1024 11y ago
      Depression has certain criteria, for example things like you don't enjoy anything, you feel tired all the time, you consider that you shouldn't live, and so on. I had a mild depression, and I know this is not it. I am happy, I like to meet people from time to time, etc. It's not addiction either - I spend my days on the Internet (or in computer games) a lot, but if I had to spend a week without it, it wouldn't be a problem. I don't have to be connected 24x7 either. I also sometimes abandon the game for no reason. It's really just you don't feel so motivated by the things in the real world compared to virtual possibilities. Let me reiterate, I think parent was spot on when he talked about the "artificial Skinner box of instant rewards", and I don't think there is a psychiatric category describing this. It's not a mental disorder, just like overeating (and being overweight due to that) isn't (usually) a disorder. But yeah, it may be a mental health issue. It's mentally unhealthy behavior, just like eating too much is unhealthy.

maloney 11y ago

"It's an actual chemical imbalance" It's actually a hypothesis that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance.

gfosco 11y ago
I wish more people knew this. The entire "chemical imbalance" shtick is a myth. If you are ever told this, your response should be, "What chemical? What level am I at? What level should I be at?".. But, alas, there is no blood test, or any other kind of test, which can yet determine this. That's not science.
- ars 11y ago
  I agree with you, but you are also losing the message. They are trying to say it's not a matter of willpower that you can just make it go away. It's something real and outside your control. The chemical imbalance part is nonsense, the message it implies is not.
  - UK-AL 11y ago
    If depression caused by terrible things happening, or loneliness, that is not also outside of your control? I've had depressed periods, but it was completely understandable given the situation I was in. I think the whole "chemical imbalance" is an easy fix, rather than trying to fix society, or the situation they are in. It's quick and easy to give pills rather than fix a life. Now i'm sure they're are actual medical causes for depression, but I think its overused.
    - ars 11y ago
      Obviously there is depression caused by events, that type is "easy" to fix because (usually) you can fix the external events, or at least talk about them and come to terms with them. But there is also depression caused by nothing whatsoever. Nothing detectable anyway. People tend not to believe it can be possible, until they experience it (personally or by talking to someone who is experiencing it). Talking about it (therapy) does nothing, because there is nothing bad happening to talk about. The person is just depressed for no reason at all, it's like someone pressed a "be depressed" switch in their brain. The person is aware of it, wants it to stop, and has no control over it at all, and no ability to change it. It's that type that they call "chemical imbalance". The chemical imbalance part is nonsense of course, but the existence of this type of depression is not. > but I think its overused. In TV commercials, yes, I agree. But in real life? No, I don't think it's overused.