5 ms·

Using women as a prop for self confidence is pretty douchey.

mod 12y ago
I don't find anything in that story to be douchey. What he's really doing is using interaction with women as practice to be better at interaction with women. I'm not really sure how else he should do it. Maybe he could have established friendships with them, and "used" them even further?
- Ensorceled 12y ago
  Really? Try to imagine a world where EVERY guy resolved to ask 1 pretty girl a day for her phone number to improve his own self confidence. Now imagine being a pretty girl in such a world. Now try to figure out what purpose the pretty girl is serving in this self help exercise and if she had the option to opt out?
  - macromaniac 12y ago
    Would I be equally in the wrong for making small talk because I was bored?
- pharrington 12y ago
  "What he's really doing is using interaction with women as practice to be better at interaction with women. " Specifically, by learning to not care about the women in question or the interactions. This is why comparing talking to people with shooting freethrows is goddamn weird. People are not basketball rims. The basketball rim lacks subjective experience.
  - ck425 12y ago
    I'd argue what he did was learn not to care about his own natural reaction to the situation, which is different. He also set ground rules to avoid making the women uncomfortable.
    - pharrington 12y ago
      So what exactly is SeanDav caring about again? In the case where a girl did give him a phone number, assuming that number is real, what is the expectation of the girl giving him a means for further contact? Did he go into this exchange making sure she knew he had no intention to call her? Something here obviously doesn't mesh. In all other cases, as someone else pointed out, the discomfort threshhold has loooong been passed by the time the girl has said anything. He's learned jack all about her view. e: The reliable indicator that you're weirding out some random woman is that you're not in a single's bar and acting like your trying to have sex with her.
  - wtbob 12y ago
    > Specifically, by learning to not care about the women in question or the interactions. Well, at least some fear of rejection is fuelled by caring too much. 'If I ask her out and she says no then she'll hate me and they'll hate me and I'll hate me and I'll want to die and I'll curl up into a ball and retreat from the world and die!' Sometimes one does have to learn to care a little bit less, in order to get the chance start to learn how to genuinely care for the real person, not the made-up person in one's mind.

mod 12y ago

I don't find anything in that story to be douchey. What he's really doing is using interaction with women as practice to be better at interaction with women. I'm not really sure how else he should do it. Maybe he could have established friendships with them, and "used" them even further?

Ensorceled 12y ago
Really? Try to imagine a world where EVERY guy resolved to ask 1 pretty girl a day for her phone number to improve his own self confidence. Now imagine being a pretty girl in such a world. Now try to figure out what purpose the pretty girl is serving in this self help exercise and if she had the option to opt out?
- macromaniac 12y ago
  Would I be equally in the wrong for making small talk because I was bored?
pharrington 12y ago
"What he's really doing is using interaction with women as practice to be better at interaction with women. " Specifically, by learning to not care about the women in question or the interactions. This is why comparing talking to people with shooting freethrows is goddamn weird. People are not basketball rims. The basketball rim lacks subjective experience.
- ck425 12y ago
  I'd argue what he did was learn not to care about his own natural reaction to the situation, which is different. He also set ground rules to avoid making the women uncomfortable.
  - pharrington 12y ago
    So what exactly is SeanDav caring about again? In the case where a girl did give him a phone number, assuming that number is real, what is the expectation of the girl giving him a means for further contact? Did he go into this exchange making sure she knew he had no intention to call her? Something here obviously doesn't mesh. In all other cases, as someone else pointed out, the discomfort threshhold has loooong been passed by the time the girl has said anything. He's learned jack all about her view. e: The reliable indicator that you're weirding out some random woman is that you're not in a single's bar and acting like your trying to have sex with her.
- wtbob 12y ago
  > Specifically, by learning to not care about the women in question or the interactions. Well, at least some fear of rejection is fuelled by caring too much. 'If I ask her out and she says no then she'll hate me and they'll hate me and I'll hate me and I'll want to die and I'll curl up into a ball and retreat from the world and die!' Sometimes one does have to learn to care a little bit less, in order to get the chance start to learn how to genuinely care for the real person, not the made-up person in one's mind.