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The Onion releases fartscroll.js
- tonetheman 13y agoPretty sure this is genius. Finally a .js site that makes sense.
- neeee 13y agoDemo?
- jhull 13y agoJust scroll on the site itself
- tonylemesmer 13y agomake your window smaller to allow more scrolling / farting.
- Toadsoup 13y agoYou can open up the console on their site and change the scroll distance between noises. It really seems like they should add some lorem ipsum text to give a better representation of farts in the wild.
- jobu 13y agoSeems to only run once per page load. You can reload to hear it again in case you missed it.
- bifftannen 13y agoThis is the most important development of our time. You cannot deny this.
- jhull 13y agoI wonder if putting something like this on a checkout page for Gas-X or anti-diarrheals might actually increase conversions.
- MattBearman 13y agoThis jQuery extension is a breath of fresh air
- why-el 13y agoAir? sure. Fresh? Probably not. ;)
- brianberns 13y agoThatsTheJoke.gif
- twerquie 13y agoCan this be considered a code smell?
- noelwelsh 13y agoThe sounds are included directly in the JS, which is pretty neat: https://github.com/theonion/fartscroll.js/blob/master/fartscroll.js https://github.com/theonion/fartscroll.js/blob/master/fartsc...
- morsch 13y agoAnd in ogg as well as mp3, to boot. Settling once and for all the great question which of these two codecs is more efficient at encoding flatulence.
- bornhuetter 13y agoWell - which is more efficient?
- rubinelli 13y agoWhat's important is that neither stinks.
- campnic 13y agoI would say that including two audio assets for the same sound seems like a code smell.
- IgorPartola 13y agoPerhaps an MP3 => OGG JavaScript converter is in order.
- alanh 13y agoTranscoding is not a computationally cheap endeavor…
- IgorPartola 13y ago
- jgj 13y agoThe Internet is finally useful. Thanks, The Onion! On a side note, I can't be the only one trying to memorize the embedded Base64 representations of fart mp3s, can I? That would kill at parties.
- StavrosK 13y agoOh yes, the suspense and rollercoaster thrill of the "watching a person type a 2100 character string" setup would just make the "listen to a half-second fart noise" that much more amazing.
- reidrac 13y agoWell, I once attended a party where a guy typed a 128 bytes program in binary form (using ALT + number) in edit, run it in DOS and the thing did what was expected. That was amazing and totally worth the wait :) The 90s, don't ask.
- StavrosK 13y agoI need to go to more of your parties, then, where my skills can be appreciated :P
- tripzilch 13y agoNow I am no longer the only one that makes fart noises as they scroll!
- andyidsinga 13y agothis is how you get your kid jnto programmig
- vassvdm 13y agomy thoughts exactly!
- hdragomir 13y agoThe Onion. That is all!
- ktzar 13y agoBrilliant. Thanks HTML5
- salehenrahman 13y agoJokes aside, I see this extension being used in one of those "causes" pages (not that I am against them) that parody the wrongdoings of an individual or groups of individual. e.g. a site that features an oil company, who lobbies governments to give them tax subsidies for sketchy oil drilling projects. As the user scrolls through each bad points about the oil company, a fart sound is played. Just my thought.
- orangethirty 13y agoThis could actually prove to be useful (aside from the comedic value, and learning exercise). I'll test to see if playing audio offers will make a difference in conversions. One thing for sure, my girls will love playing around with it. :D http://pullmyfinger.com http://pullmyfinger.com is taken. ):
- bogrollben 13y agoMy visit duration to the fartscroll page was increased by about 1000% because of this plugin. I normally would have clicked away long ago, but now I find myself wanting to just leave it open in a side tab all day long.
- nikolakirev 13y agoAll of the fart apps in the App Store are now ready for that transition from native to multi-platform web based applications.
- youngerdryas 13y agoAdd your own sounds. http://www.motobit.com/util/base64-decoder-encoder.asp http://www.motobit.com/util/base64-decoder-encoder.asp
- fabriceleal 13y agoLets put this into a bookmarklet :P
- fabriceleal 13y agoDone: https://gist.github.com/fabriceleal/5547487 https://gist.github.com/fabriceleal/5547487. Tested in hacker news (no jQuery) and wikipedia (has jQuery). For some reason, github doesn't like that I'm loading something from raw.github.com/... Chrome console says: Refused to load the script 'https://raw.github.com/theonion/fartscroll.js/master/fartscroll.js https://raw.github.com/theonion/fartscroll.js/master/fartscr... because it violates the following Content Security Policy directive: "script-src https://github.com https://github.com https://a248.e.akamai.net https://a248.e.akamai.net https://jobs.github.com https://jobs.github.com https://ssl.google-analytics.com https://ssl.google-analytics.com https://secure.gaug.es https://secure.gaug.es https://gist.github.com https://gist.github.com.
- dschep 13y agoHah. Looks like you beat me to it. I made a slightly different version: http://dschep.github.io/GistMarklets/#5547713 http://dschep.github.io/GistMarklets/#5547713
- buttscicles 13y agoIt's because of this: https://github.com/blog/1477-content-security-policy https://github.com/blog/1477-content-security-policy This might also be of interest: https://github.com/blog/1482-heads-up-nosniff-header-support-coming-to-chrome-and-firefox https://github.com/blog/1482-heads-up-nosniff-header-support...
- stuff4ben 13y agoam I the only one thinking of combining this and the konami code JS for a great easter egg implementation?
- nateguchi 13y agoawkward moment looking at this whilst interviewing an intern
- mrcharles 13y agoSee, now I just want to make a virus that injects this into random webpages.
- obviouslygreen 13y agodysentery.js?
- pasquinelli 13y agothat'd be quite a splash.
- donohoe 13y agoPeople laughed when it was said that perhaps The Onion could save Journalism. Who's laughing now, eh!?
- obviouslygreen 13y agoYou could call this brilliant advertising: Those laughing now are most likely to be males between the ages of 12 and 34. :)
- jwoah12 13y agoIf I stop laughing at fart sounds when I'm 35, it'll be because I'm dead.
- obviouslygreen 13y agoIt's just a demographics joke. I hope you are still amused by flatulence past the ripe old age of 34... even if you do cause a world-rending paradox, you selfish bastard.
- danthewireman 13y ago43 and still laughing. Teaching my 6-year-old to make the sounds. All is well.
- farmer_ted 13y agoAlmost 50. I laugh through the tears at fart sounds.
- Mahn 13y agoNow all we are missing is a Chrome Extension that automatically injects this in every page and stays hidden. Perfect office prank :)
- m4tthumphrey 13y agoThis would be perfectly suited on any Magento website, especially magentocommerce.com
- publicfig 13y agoThe best part of this entire thing may be that in "Issues", there is a pull request for "My Finger".
- smickie 13y agoI can't believe that's my only public activity ever on Github :/
- ck2 13y agoJokes aside, I make my browser make a click when an external object is loaded and when a page starts and finishes loading. This audible enforcement is very helpful during development and to "hear" which sites are sneaking in external calls without bringing up firebug, etc.
- obviouslygreen 13y agoI run Ghostery to stop sites from loading external media. If you're not opposed to plugins, even if you don't actually want to block the media, you can put it into disabled mode and it'll still tell you how many external calls were made (and, if you click on the icon, it brings up a list of the associated domains). Granted, I'm running Chromium (presumably you're talking about Firefox), but the plugin does exist for both browsers.
- TheEskimo 13y agoI've always felt ghostery is the poor-man's noscript. If he wants to know about all external calls (which he presumably does) then noscript will actually do that while ghostery will let 'good' ones by untouched.
- passionfruit 13y agoI use RequestPolicy[1] to prevent cross-site requests. If only NoScript is used and a user has allowed javascript on a domain, then NoScript allows cross-site requests and javascript from that domain to run on any domain. https://www.requestpolicy.com/ https://www.requestpolicy.com/
- specialist 13y agoI've read up on AdBlock, NoScript, Ghostery. I have no idea what differentiate's them. Some people run two or more. I have no idea if more means better. I don't have the gumption to splunk the code. I kinda wish either they'd declare each other competitors or embrace each other as compliments.
- 13y ago
- rgrannell1 13y agothis needs to be combined with raptorize.js...
- fabriceleal 13y agoOh boy, here comes another bookmarklet ...
- geekam 13y agoJeff Atwood calls it "Possibly the greatest code in the history of computing" [1] [1] https://twitter.com/codinghorror/status/332495858383855617 https://twitter.com/codinghorror/status/332495858383855617
- jbigelow76 13y agoI originally read the link as "The Onion releases FASTscroll.js". I thought maybe there was a new high performance infinite scroll implementation. I was a little confused initially after clicking through.
- philsci 13y agome too. nothing happens when I put this code in my DocumentRoot and open example.html.
- ryhanson 13y agoI'm so tempted to implement this on one of my clients sites without telling them, just for a day!
- cddotdotslash 13y ago> previous clients FTFY
- skizm 13y agoIs there a way to make anyone accessing my home wifi network get this injected into their webpages (or random webpages)? I know there is that trick that lets you flip all the images or replace them with pics of something else (usually cats) but can you inject arbitrary js into pages also?
- lallysingh 13y agoI think you'd need a proxy server that injects the JS into each page. Then your network's DNS should redirect to the proxy.
- ritonlajoie 13y agoYou can use the one I just set up on 92.163.21.52 port 9990 edit : port 9999 edit 2 : port 9990
- dreen 13y agoHave a look at this http://www.ex-parrot.com/pete/upside-down-ternet.html http://www.ex-parrot.com/pete/upside-down-ternet.html
- pranavrc 13y agoWeb 3.0 is here!
- bonf 13y agoif you want to use it to prank your co-workers: http://www.getpranx.com http://www.getpranx.com
- untog 13y agoThe only way The Onion could improve on this is by writing a followup article saying that the response has been so positive that they've decided to sell fartscroll.js as a SAAS offering, and have taken investment from twenty prominent VC funds.
- jeremyjh 13y agoYes but they are a satirical news outlet. They wouldn't want to confuse people by reporting news that is true.
- leonvonblut 13y agowe did a chrome extension for that https://github.com/Ninja-Pheasants/ftw https://github.com/Ninja-Pheasants/ftw enjoy and help us to fix it.
- rahilsondhi 13y agoThis is inbound marketing at its best. What a great way to tell the tech community you're hiring.
- meelash 13y agoReally? This got voted up to number 1 on the front page, and so many awesome real projects are buried without ever getting anywhere? HN is really a joke now, I see. Haven't been around for a while. Sad.
- incision 13y agoCoincidence? [0] 0: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5677046 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5677046
- ianstallings 13y agoIt's a clever way to find a new hire, if you scroll to the bottom of their page.
- markozjovanovic 13y agoThe only sad thing around here is You.
- jlillyreed 13y agoThis is it, the internet has reached it's pinnacle, time to close up shop and move on.
- jw_ 13y agoWeb 2.1b!
- unicornporn 13y agoMy computer just farted very loud in a hotel lobby.
- jack-r-abbit 13y agoSure... the computer did it. Can't you just blame the dog like everyone else does? lol
- tomphoolery 13y agoToday, I learned that The Onion has a Github account. Kudos guys!
- driverdan 13y agoThe Onion is the Mad Magazine of adults. I'd love to see them release a bunch of small joke JS libs like this.
- ritonlajoie 13y agoWell I made a small intercepting proxy which inserts this JS if you want to try.. Use http proxy 92.163.21.52 port 9990 and start browsing :) I'll let the VM opened for a few hours edit: port 9999 edit2: port 9990 (changed the port because some botnet is using it to target a website and maybe that's because I used an online proxy checker to test it)
- deleted 13y ago[deleted]
- mkopinsky 13y agoWhat kind of "Front end" developer are they looking for?
- flexxaeon 13y agoburpscroll.js would be an easy fork
- comatose_kid 13y agoI believe that this is exactly what Al Gore had in mind when he invented the internet.
- yokatana 13y agoNow we only need Google Nose to become real. It'll be a "killer".
- kellros 13y agoAfter playing with this for about 3 seconds I realized this would be perfect for a ticking timebomb. The use case: You configure your freelance/consultation web app to start injecting this script 1 month after an invoice is due and not paid. I would bet the clients will be hurrying to pay your invoice after they get complaints of farting sounds coming from their website!
- prabhatjha 13y agoIt just made my day.
- b0rsuk 13y agoMy dog's reaction to fartscroll.js: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIYySjIyy_I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIYySjIyy_I
- timinman 13y agoThis is going to EXPLODE all over the Internet!