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Sure! Uncertainty is a spectrum, and there are certainly moments where it's not a nice feeling. I'm a father, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't had those fee
by jjulius 23d ago
Sure! Uncertainty is a spectrum, and there are certainly moments where it's not a nice feeling. I'm a father, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't had those feelings over the years. My (making it very clear here that one's mileage will obviously vary) approach?
I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe I'll need to figure out childcare, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll have food to eat this weekend, maybe I won't. Maybe my job will go away next year, maybe it won't. Today, there's work, and I'll do that work as best I can. Today, there's evidence things are changing, and I can be aware of that. Today, I can do something prudent to make myself more resilient towards whatever may or may not happen. Tomorrow, if something happens, I can react accordingly.
The mind wants certainty, but that's not always available, so I observe the "wanting". The best I can do is act based on what's in front of me, and sitting in the negative emotions around existential thoughts doesn't help me, nor my family (it's natural to have them, but I acknowledge them and let them pass by). The best I can do is to do. If things change, I change. Everything in nature/life is ephemeral, and I have done my best throughout my life to set myself up to be as adaptable as possible.
Edit: To reduce this and get a bit Tao-ish, you don't need to know the exact shape of the river downstream as long as you're capable of steering when you get there.
- jancsika 23d ago> I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe I'll need to figure out childcare, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll have food to eat this weekend, maybe I won't. Maybe my job will go away next year, maybe it won't. Today, there's work, and I'll do that work as best I can. Today, there's evidence things are changing, and I can be aware of that. Today, I can do something prudent to make myself more resilient towards whatever may or may not happen. Tomorrow, if something happens, I can react accordingly. I take it you've never worked on realtime software. :) For most Americans with kids, if they don't figure out childcare they will miss deadlines. By missing deadlines they risk systemic failures: failure to make enough income to eat, keep their job, pay for healthcare, etc. It's easy to get Tao-ish about meeting deadlines when your buffer is above 100k.
- jjulius 23d agoMy buffer is below that, and I've absolutely dealt with missing deadlines such as those in the past, yet this mindset and approach to the world has managed to keep me sane throughout. :) That's not to say that things aren't easier or harder at different levels, but you can still approach life from that perspective no matter where you are at. I've always lived a life far from the the income levels that are common around these parts, and this is how I've to sustained myself and remained happy.
- DougN7 23d agoI attempt to live sort of like this too. My mother is beside herself with all of the wildfires in the world. In my opinion that is like stabbing your hand with a fork. I’m aware of lots of problems in the world, but I can’t do much if anything about them. So I let them go - I’m not going to injure myself over something I can’t control. Uncertainty is the same - worry and anger injure yourself, but changes nothing. Don’t subject yourself to needless pain. I just wish I could live by these words all the time, but it’s hard.