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So true. NT people are so frustrating! The scenario which drives me insane is; someone tells me some popular mainstream narrative about why we should do someth

So true. NT people are so frustrating! The scenario which drives me insane is; someone tells me some popular mainstream narrative about why we should do something in a particular way. Essentially just parroting expert consensus on a similar topic. I tell them exactly why this approach wouldn't work in that particular case and they concede to all my points. They fully agree and don't push back on anything. But then a few minutes later, they're still pushing for the exact same mainstream expert consensus approach and ignoring all my earlier points which they had literally just agreed to. WTF. The impression I get is that they liked how my arguments sounded superficially and felt that other people in the meeting also agreed but they didn't actually understand any of it! It's like they only absorbed it in a very superficial way; just enough to allow them to rephrase it or to add a few supporting points but somehow they really didn't actually understand the essence of the argument. This kind of situation reminds me of the wordcel vs shape rotator discussion from a few years back. NT people are like wordcels.

deleted 25d ago
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grebc 25d ago
David Chase(the wonderful creator of The Sopranos) has said on more than one occasion that people don’t say what they mean. I think in your scenario that’s applying both ways.
- jongjong 25d ago
  This has been a theme for me over the past couple of years. I'm noticing the limitations of words and language, including those that come out of my own mouth. You can choose your words carefully, but it's useless unless your audience knows to look for those nuances. Sometimes, in group meetings, I've caught myself repeating something twice in a slightly different way to increase the probability that people understood it correctly. But you can't repeat yourself all the time or else people will think something's wrong with you.
  - grebc 24d ago
    Try writing down the points you’re trying to get across. I often have half baked ideas that only form properly from either attempting to write it down succinctly, or hashing it out in a small group (2 others max) for a longer time. Succinctly is doing a lot of work too. Anything more than a few small paragraphs is too much for people’s attentions spans.
gitaarik 24d ago
It might also be that they just agree with you to not get into conflict with you because they know you won't want to see their perspective, and once you're done with your monologue they happily move on to the next person and you don't even realize they didn't care anything about what you told them

deleted 25d ago

[deleted]

grebc 25d ago

David Chase(the wonderful creator of The Sopranos) has said on more than one occasion that people don’t say what they mean. I think in your scenario that’s applying both ways.

jongjong 25d ago
This has been a theme for me over the past couple of years. I'm noticing the limitations of words and language, including those that come out of my own mouth. You can choose your words carefully, but it's useless unless your audience knows to look for those nuances. Sometimes, in group meetings, I've caught myself repeating something twice in a slightly different way to increase the probability that people understood it correctly. But you can't repeat yourself all the time or else people will think something's wrong with you.
- grebc 24d ago
  Try writing down the points you’re trying to get across. I often have half baked ideas that only form properly from either attempting to write it down succinctly, or hashing it out in a small group (2 others max) for a longer time. Succinctly is doing a lot of work too. Anything more than a few small paragraphs is too much for people’s attentions spans.

gitaarik 24d ago

It might also be that they just agree with you to not get into conflict with you because they know you won't want to see their perspective, and once you're done with your monologue they happily move on to the next person and you don't even realize they didn't care anything about what you told them