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I'm in my 40s. >it's quite likely that nearly all of your problems are the result of your choices, either indirectly through the environment you live in or dir
by astura 28d ago
I'm in my 40s.
>it's quite likely that nearly all of your problems are the result of your choices, either indirectly through the environment you live in or directly through the actions you take
This is a horrible thing to say, and I wouldn't go around saying stuff like that if you value your safety. Its probably true if you're a white guy with a average intelligence who was raised in the suburbs by loving family with a silver spoon in your mouth. However, the rest of us didn't choose to be born into poverty and family violence; we didn't choose to spend our formative years be assaulted, hungry, groomed, and abused; we didn't choose to be subjected to systemic problems, racism, sexism, and institutional abuse.
What you're basically doing is telling someone who was born with multiple sclerosis "the reason you have trouble walking is due to your choices."
That being said, this isn't a fatalistic post. I think everyone can and should make choices to make the best of what they have. I've been trying for 4+ decades. I spend thousands of dollars a year on therapy and medication trying to move on. I've personally witnessed the effects of bad decisions and I have the cognitive capabilities to see cause and effect so I won't be making the same choices for myself.
It's just a straight up fact that my suffering is not due to my own choices. I did not ask for this.
- grog454 28d agoSome people have to work a thousand times harder than someone else for 1/1000th the payoff due to their starting point. That's just life. But that doesn't reduce the impact your choices have on your own life. With a few extreme exceptions you can choose to change your environment. It's just varying degrees of terrifying/uncomfortable/dangerous.
- watwut 28d agoThat still does not imply that ">it's quite likely that nearly all of your problems are the result of your choices, either indirectly through the environment you live in or directly through the actions you take". You changing your environment to void problems plenty of times means "abandoning your kids". You may even have greates starting point ever and still have externally imposed diseases, injuries and problems.
- jaggederest 28d ago> It's just a straight up fact that my suffering is not due to my own choices. I did not ask for this. I would reframe this, in my view, that your suffering is not due to your own choices, but you are probably suffering a lot less than you might otherwise, due to good choices. That's what I mean - you can't control your situation or the world around you, but you can do the best with what you have, and in my view many people have never been given permission to do that.
- astura 27d agoDon't move the goalposts, dude. I'm not taking advice from someone who says "it's quite likely that nearly all of your problems are the result of your choices, either indirectly through the environment you live in or directly through the actions you take." So stop giving it. Here's my advice, saying stuff like that gets you your ass kicked in the real world.