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Can you clarify how it “harmed” you? You didn’t quite answer that question.

by supplied_demand 1y ago

drdeca 1y ago
https://xkcd.com/598/ https://xkcd.com/598/ (Except, remove the last panel)
- justanotherjoe 1y ago
  I would say all knowledge have that effect on us. Kinda the inherent drawback of it. Lessens enjoyments somewhat.
- toomanyrichies 1y ago
  It sounds like you're saying porn either "gave" you a fetish, or uncovered a latent fetish you didn't know you had (and /or preferred not to know about). If that's an accurate read, can I ask what harm it causes you to have a fetish? Provided it doesn't harm anyone else, what's wrong with liking what you like?
  - drdeca 1y ago
    I don’t buy the “revealed a latent fetish” explanation. I don’t think people are born with a fetish baked into their soul. Like, the people with the “blueberry expansion” one, you really think they were born with that? No, of course not, that would be dumb. I think the main reason people put forth the “latent fetish” explanation is in order to argue that pornography is harmless. As for why it harms me? The purpose of sexuality is for relations with one’s spouse. On average, I expect it to be counterproductive in that regards. Most women wouldn’t find it appealing, and looking for specifically women who would find the idea appealing would substantially restrict the pool to search among. Also, most of the versions of the fantasy I have violated conservation of energy, and therefore cannot be physically achieved. Why would I want to want something impossible? And, generally, lust promotes lust.
    - gosteinao 1y ago
      > The purpose of sexuality is for relations with one’s spouse. Says who?
    - mandmandam 1y ago
      > The purpose of sexuality is for relations with one’s spouse That's not actually true. That doctrine has been used to guilt-trip people and control their lives for many hundreds of years - but it isn't true. People are complex. We're not self-replicating machines whose sole purpose is to breed.
      - drdeca 1y ago
        Where did I imply that our purpose was to breed? I don’t believe that. I didn’t even say that the relations were specifically to be reproductive.
        immibis 1y ago
        Why do you believe the parts you believe but not the other parts?
        drdeca 1y ago
        The parts of what? Just because the belief system I believe includes some beliefs that some other belief system has, doesn’t mean I’m like, taking portions from that other belief system. (If you think that Christianity says that the purpose of people is purely to reproduce, you are quite mistaken.) The purpose of people is to be in loving relation with God, and with each-other. The purpose of coitus is to further those goals, by symbolism, by strengthening affection among a married couple, and by producing more people. And the purposes of sexual desire follows from these purposes. (To justify the claim that Christianity does not say that coitus should only ever be done with the goal of reproduction: If one burns with desire, it doesn’t become not right to marry on account of being infertile. Now, I think one should be open to the possibility of a child, and be willing to raise a child if need be, but it doesn’t need to be the goal of the marriage.) Of course, I recognize that some people reject the idea that there are purposes to these things / reject that there is a telos to things. I don’t think either I nor they will convince the other in this thread.
- GoblinSlayer 1y ago
  Good for you. IME porn is very standardized and can't be arsed to include my fetishes.
fipar 1y ago
I’m against censorship, well, except for stuff that would already be illegal. But as to the potential harm, I recommend “Homemade” by Sebadoh. Example verse: “There’s still pictures in my mind. I’ve been addicted all this time. It taught me everything I know. Tell me girl, did it leave me cold?” We don’t need to ban porn. We need better sex ed, ideally starting at home.

Can you clarify how it “harmed” you? You didn’t quite answer that question.

drdeca 1y ago

https://xkcd.com/598/ https://xkcd.com/598/ (Except, remove the last panel)

justanotherjoe 1y ago
I would say all knowledge have that effect on us. Kinda the inherent drawback of it. Lessens enjoyments somewhat.
toomanyrichies 1y ago
It sounds like you're saying porn either "gave" you a fetish, or uncovered a latent fetish you didn't know you had (and /or preferred not to know about). If that's an accurate read, can I ask what harm it causes you to have a fetish? Provided it doesn't harm anyone else, what's wrong with liking what you like?
- drdeca 1y ago
  I don’t buy the “revealed a latent fetish” explanation. I don’t think people are born with a fetish baked into their soul. Like, the people with the “blueberry expansion” one, you really think they were born with that? No, of course not, that would be dumb. I think the main reason people put forth the “latent fetish” explanation is in order to argue that pornography is harmless. As for why it harms me? The purpose of sexuality is for relations with one’s spouse. On average, I expect it to be counterproductive in that regards. Most women wouldn’t find it appealing, and looking for specifically women who would find the idea appealing would substantially restrict the pool to search among. Also, most of the versions of the fantasy I have violated conservation of energy, and therefore cannot be physically achieved. Why would I want to want something impossible? And, generally, lust promotes lust.
  - gosteinao 1y ago
    > The purpose of sexuality is for relations with one’s spouse. Says who?
  - mandmandam 1y ago
    > The purpose of sexuality is for relations with one’s spouse That's not actually true. That doctrine has been used to guilt-trip people and control their lives for many hundreds of years - but it isn't true. People are complex. We're not self-replicating machines whose sole purpose is to breed.
    - drdeca 1y ago
      Where did I imply that our purpose was to breed? I don’t believe that. I didn’t even say that the relations were specifically to be reproductive.
      - immibis 1y ago
        Why do you believe the parts you believe but not the other parts?
        drdeca 1y ago
        The parts of what? Just because the belief system I believe includes some beliefs that some other belief system has, doesn’t mean I’m like, taking portions from that other belief system. (If you think that Christianity says that the purpose of people is purely to reproduce, you are quite mistaken.) The purpose of people is to be in loving relation with God, and with each-other. The purpose of coitus is to further those goals, by symbolism, by strengthening affection among a married couple, and by producing more people. And the purposes of sexual desire follows from these purposes. (To justify the claim that Christianity does not say that coitus should only ever be done with the goal of reproduction: If one burns with desire, it doesn’t become not right to marry on account of being infertile. Now, I think one should be open to the possibility of a child, and be willing to raise a child if need be, but it doesn’t need to be the goal of the marriage.) Of course, I recognize that some people reject the idea that there are purposes to these things / reject that there is a telos to things. I don’t think either I nor they will convince the other in this thread.
GoblinSlayer 1y ago
Good for you. IME porn is very standardized and can't be arsed to include my fetishes.

fipar 1y ago

I’m against censorship, well, except for stuff that would already be illegal. But as to the potential harm, I recommend “Homemade” by Sebadoh. Example verse: “There’s still pictures in my mind. I’ve been addicted all this time. It taught me everything I know. Tell me girl, did it leave me cold?” We don’t need to ban porn. We need better sex ed, ideally starting at home.