8 ms·

Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

• sroussey 3y ago
  Imagine yourself in your 60s. What would you tell yourself now? Be honest. A mental fabrication like “you are 65” can unlock thought pathways that you have subconsciously blocked.
• local_crmdgeon 3y ago
  I've read a lot of these - generally it's that money matters less than family, it's never too late, success is steady action over a distance instead of one huge burst, and that your health matters more than you can imagine.
• deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
• rqtwteye 3y ago
  Take care of your health. Think about how you want to retire.
• srge 3y ago
  A healthy man wants many things. A sick man only wants one thing. Take care of your health!
  • leobg 3y ago
    Great quote. Tolstoi - Death Of Ivan Ilyich. (Modeled after a successful lawyer, I hear.)
• iancmceachern 3y ago
  Advice in how to age with grace
  • deely3 3y ago
    "Don't be a dick"?
• ggm 3y ago
  Exercise more, sleep hygiene and eat and drink less.
• PreInternet01 3y ago
  Not quite in my 60s just yet, but close. Anyway: Work: find your niche. Accept that you're not going to be a hotshot coder/consultant/whatever forever. However, outside of 'fashionable tech' there is an entire world where you can make a comfortable living and nobody cares about your age. That doesn't mean you can stop learning: remaining up-to-date on relevant skills is important, but 'relevant' does a lot of heavy lifting there. Be knowledgeable/reliable instead of trendy. Leisure: don't put off things you truly want to do until some unspecified later date. You might not make it (see 'health' below). Find at least one activity to enjoy on at least a weekly basis, travel (even if it's close to home), go for walks, spend time with your loved ones. Health: everything truly and rapidly gets worse once you're 50. Stop smoking now, stop drinking now (or at least moderate a lot), talk to a doctor on a regular basis, take care of your teeth (really). (That last paragraph is awfully generic, but until such time that we invent time machines, a very important one...)
  • gigatexal 3y ago
    This should probably be enshrined on tablets somewhere. I too am worried about either moving into management or starting my own company or something else because there’s no way I’m going to be a worthwhile IC into my 50s. I need to do something more.
    • epicureanideal 3y ago
      I sure hope I have a big exit sometime before 60 (20 years from now), because the cost of living in the Bay Area is crazy. It would be awful to work as a "well paid" (but most of it goes to living expenses and raising kids) software engineer for many years, and then need to retire in some rural area on social security, with bare minimum quality of life...
      • rorroe53 3y ago
        Rural area isn't bad if you find the right place, hobbies and a proper house. Lots of opportunities for outdoor activities, such as gardening and trekking, which also help keep you healthy.
• WalterBright 3y ago
  Max out contributions to your 401k, IRA, Roth IRA, and HSA accounts.
  • p-e-w 3y ago
    Assuming that there will be any actual money in those accounts by the time you get to retire is incredibly optimistic. With the way things are developing, everything being wiped out by some event in the next 20 years seems far more likely. The list of potential causes is long: Bank and government failures, demographic collapse, AI, climate change, war, inflation. Or, some future government might simply decide that they need that money more than you do. And no, "the people" won't revolt if that happens. They will be far too scared to do so.
    • WalterBright 3y ago
      All my investments are in stocks. People tell me "what if the stock market goes to zero?" Well, then I'd lose everything. But consider this - if the stock market goes to zero, so does the bond market, so does the real estate market, so do hog futures, your NFTs, your collector car, etc. The only thing that goes up is ammunition. So sure, it could happen, but I'm not going to diversify, because that won't work, either.
      • ksaj 3y ago
        This is a good way to frame it. The stock market going to zero means everybody has stopped valuing companies, and presumably the companies themselves are not creating value anyone can buy into. That puts us back to pre-industrial planet. Is that going to happen in this generation? I wouldn't worry too much about the stock market disappearing and taking all your money with it then. Diversifying mainly means not putting all your wealth into one industry. It doesn't mean "Don't rely on stocks" or whatever. If you only have one ship and it goes down, you go down with the ship. If you have a fleet, you can stay afloat. If you manage your fleet like a battalion, you just might win the battle. Ships won't suddenly cease to exist.
• GianFabien 3y ago
  For me the biggest factor has been understanding how the hedonistic trap limited my options. It works like this: you start a new job with a nice big bump in salary. You buy a new car, go to fancier restaurants, take dates to "in places", move into a nicer apartment. With each increment of income, expenses increase. Pretty soon you are trapped in an awful job but the pay is too good and you have no savings. Getting off the hedonistic treadmill is very painful. But there's more to life than staring at computer screens and putting up with shitty bosses.
  • Overpower0416 3y ago
    I am 27 and I feel like I am at that stage of my life. Only recently I started becoming self aware of my hedonism way of living. I get that high from getting the next shiny thing and after a week, I start seeking the next material thing I want to get. I feel lost and unfulfilled
    • eliasmacpherson 3y ago
      A typo has misled you, hedonism and the hedonic treadmill are separate concepts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill
    • Temporary_31337 3y ago
      Another way to look at it is how much money can you set aside for any situation. Be it SV but living in a tiny apartment or elsewhere, make sure to save money no matter what so you can always have the freedom to move out of a bad situation
  • theshrike79 3y ago
    I actually managed to get off the treadmill during the Pandemic. During the slowdown of the initial forced WFH I found out that I don't actually need anything else. Yes, a bigger house with a bigger yard, a better car etc. would be nice. ...but I have everything I need that costs under 10k€. There are a few bits I could upgrade, but I'd have to pay a 50-100% premium for under 10% quality improvement, so not really worth it in my book.
• dmoo 3y ago
  Call your Mom, Today.
  • emodendroket 3y ago
    Well, tomorrow is Mother's Day, anyway.
    • dmoo 3y ago
      Cool, did not know that as I am in Ireland and we have different dates but as a general piece of advice for those in their 40’s I would recommend making the effort to keep in touch with your parents. Equally if you have teenagers, remember this phase will pass so try and stay connected with them because pretty much the only thing that matters are the small few people you really care about.
      • ianai 3y ago
        Unless those parents are harmful or abusive. But yes, identify those who care for you and care for them back. Such people are very, truly rare.
  • roland35 3y ago
    Haha I would but my mom is an toxic and abusive pain killer addict so I think I'll pass! But if your mom is nice yes you should call her!
• kmarc 3y ago
  Not 60, but trying to somewhat predict where I will be at that time... As a non-native English speaker I used to say: 20 years ago I knew that if I wanted to have a great career today, I had to learn English. Today, if I want to have a great career 20 years from now, I should learn Chinese. (since then I left the telco bubble, maybe other parts of the tech industry are not that Chinese-heavy)
  • quonn 3y ago
    People said the same 20 years ago and it‘s not going to happen for many reasons. - The language of science remains English. - Only a small part of the Asian countries has languages with a similar structure. Meanwhile, North and South America, Europe, Australia, Russia and India are within the Indo-Germanic language family. - English has both simple grammar and a simple alphabet. To succeed a language also has to be easy to adopt. - China is getting more important, but the sum of western countries also will be
    • 4gotunameagain 3y ago
      *Indo-European Also the language of science remains English because still the west is the most prevalent economy. As history has shown, science follows the strong economies. Let's see how that plays out, if we manage to not implode, because we sure are heading there right now. As much as I hate American foreign policy and large parts of the culture as well, it sure as hell beats Chinese.
    • kmarc 3y ago
      It's quite much possibly my (previous) bubble. > The language of science remains English. While I agree with you, born and raised in the Eastern block, they also had their common blanket statements. Looking from the other side, they turned out to be wrong. I'll keep an open mind, in case I'm again on some other sides.
• bombcar 3y ago
  40? It's not too late to learn new skills. You have the advantage of having already learned other ones, and probably 20+ years experience working. You can learn something new, especially as an "add-on".
• deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
• WelcomeShorty 3y ago
  Treat your partner well, you got some daunting times ahead of you as a team. Your children will (need to) leave the house. Prepare and assist them. Your family home will be oversized, if you can, pass it to one of the kids who needs it most. Moderate your financial fix costs. Get your car / bike / sailing / paragliding licence now. You are still a player in the "looking for a partner" market, go for it now or forget about it completely.
  • Gibbon1 3y ago
    > Treat your partner well Be really leery of anything that builds resentment. It's an insidious relationship poison.
  • xtracto 3y ago
    My dad found the love of his life at around 68yo. In the last 5 years I've seen him happier love-related than ever. So I dont think your snippet about that is necessarily accurate.
• jaybrendansmith 3y ago
  - The amount of calories you need after 50 drops almost in half. You slowly become allergic to many foods. Regulate your diet better. - Use it or lose it. That means the ability to climb stairs, walk, run, pushups, jumping jacks, but also play an instrument, type, write, do math. Go out of your way to keep doing these things. Get a personal trainer if you can afford it. - Travel as much as you can now. It's more fun when you're young. Money spent now is worth more than money spent later in more ways than one. - For your career, find your masterpiece, something only you can do that will either live beyond you or perhaps help many others. You may need to take some risks to find it, if you don't do that in your 40s it might be too late in your 50s. - You can't time the market, but start saving now for your kids college or retirement. Just take the money out of your paycheck if you can and pretend like you never got it ... your living standard tends to expand to your income. - If you don't have one, find a partner. It gets harder to find one after 40, and after 50 you may stop caring. It takes two.
  • HardwareLust 3y ago
    >You slowly become allergic to many foods. You got a source on that?
    • jaybrendansmith 3y ago
      Just observing myself and my friends and family. It makes sense, that repeated exposure causes more allergic reactions as my immune system is exposed to more and more allergens, and gets more incoherent.
  • codethief 3y ago
    > Money spent now is worth more than money spent later in more ways than one. On the other hand, money saved & invested now will (quite literally) be worth more than money saved later.
    • Bradlinc 3y ago
      Both of these statements are true. Getting the right balance is something I struggle with. I am glad I traveled when I was younger. I couldn't repeat the same trips today. However, getting my BMW detailed at 24 was a waste, though it would be a waste today too.
• paologiacometti 3y ago
  my two cents, even if I am not 60 but nearly. Do not underestimate the role of chance and fortune in all the decision you made. Don't even think for a moment that all the efforts you put in your job/career, relations and to stay health will somehow led to a positive (for you) outcome. The mantra "if you dream of it you can have it" leave to the posters because it's totally wrong and it can bring you to mental problems if you embrace it. I know it sound depressing but I see lots of people at my age (55) that are nearly broken because for example they sacrifice everything for their careers and goals and now that they don't get what they want are a complete mess. On the same way I see woman that sacrifice they own being for the children and now that they children as grown and do not care so much about their parent are loosed in a life without meaning for them.
  • tskupinski 3y ago
    There is a simple way to counter this effect - focus on road, not on the destination. If you enjoy what you are doing, you won't get disappointed even if it doesn't work out in a long run for different reasons.
• xtracto 3y ago
  I like the advice provided by Jack Ma. https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/30/jack-ma-dont-fear-making-mistakes-in-your-20s-and-30s.html https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/30/jack-ma-dont-fear-making-mis... At 40, I'm just doing what I'm good at, learning things that interest me here and there. But my main dedication is to my health and wellbeing. I changed jobs to WFH and stopped being a manager/VP to return to be an IC in something I like that is low pressure. Because I've loved the thrill of startups, I do tech Advisorship for new startups, particularly for people that want to do something tech, but have no clue how to start. I charge in equity only, which makes it thrilling for me.
• scarface74 3y ago
  I’ll be 50 next year so I’m right in the middle. Short version: after Covid, we realized we didn’t care about “stuff” and we wanted “experiences”. After Covid lifted, even though it didn’t affect anyone fatally in my immediate or extended circle fatally. It did make me change my perspective and priorities. In June 2020, my youngest (step)son graduated from high school and decided to work and not go to college. I made it clear to him and his mom since he was 9 (when we first got engaged) that I would find a way for him to college. For all intents and purposes they were my “sons”. I had planned to cash flow his college expenses. But after asking him repeatedly, he assured us he didn’t want to go. The same month at 46, I fell into a fully remote role at $BigTech and assigned to a virtual office that meant a significant pay increase. In 2022 my wife and I both decided we wanted to move to Orlando for a change of pace and decent weather all year. We found what we thought was a nice condo and learned it was a unit in a condotel. An arrangement where we own the condo unit. But could only stay there 6 months out of the year. The rest of the year it was rented out like a room in a hotel and we got half the proceeds. My wife then had the brilliant idea of us “nomadding” for the other 6 months (actually 7 from March through October). We sold our cars and now we take Uber everywhere when we are traveling and use SixT and do monthly rentals when we are home. We fly from city to city in the US and stay in midrange hotels. Everything we physically own that’s not real estate fits in four suitcases. It would be three. But I have one packed with my “business clothes” for the occasional corporate trip My wife is deep in the fitness industry and before we go to a new city, she reaches out to instructors in that area to take and guest teach classes. When we are “home” we pay one fee that covers all utilities, internet, access to a gym, a lake, and multiple large pools, three restaurants and a convenience store onsite. We threw out everything and downsized from a 3200 square foot house in the burbs of Atlanta to a 1300 square foot condo that was the same price in 2022 that our house was in 2016. We rent our house out to our son and two friends