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The typical response is being in these jobs changes you so that when you have the money you no longer have any meaning. You have a passion, you put it on hold f

The typical response is being in these jobs changes you so that when you have the money you no longer have any meaning. You have a passion, you put it on hold for 10-20yrs for $$$, you come out the other end having lost your passion Further, that assumes you make it out the other end. Almost no one saves the money and retires early. Instead they get some money, they get a nicer apartment, nicer car, start eating out at fancier restaurants, shopping at higher end places, buying fashion brands etc...

Xeoncross 4y ago
+1 The project outline vs the actual shipped product
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
hinkley 4y ago
> And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
giantg2 4y ago
"you put it on hold for 10-20yrs for $$$, you come out the other end having lost your passion" People change for a lot of reasons. I gave up some hobbies when I had a kid and I'm pretty sure I won't pick them back up when I retire. People's passions change, or they realize certain things are unobtainable. That's just life.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- ip26 4y ago
  It’s become clear some hobbies are essentially status-seeking among young adults and/or showing off to potential partners. They simply don’t make much sense anymore for someone married with kids.
  - giantg2 4y ago
    Maybe for some. Mine weren't about that, but I could certainly see some people involved in those same activities could be.
  - plugin-baby 4y ago
    Sounds like an interesting theory. Can you give some examples of these hobbies?
    - ip26 4y ago
      Motorsports and pushing grades rock climbing, for many people I knew. I am also suspicious of ballet and trivia. You know you’ve found one when, in a gathering, none of the participants seem to particularly like each other and mostly seem interested in one upping the others. A more obvious example is drinking a ton of alcohol at parties.
- throwaway2037 4y ago
  I agree. The original comment is bizarre, and espouses a black and white view of life. As a general rule, no young person realises how much age and circumstances will change their life. It is impossible to foresee. Every year of my life, something arrives out of the blue that was impossible to foresee and changes the direction of my life. And older people seem to forget their own circumstances in youth.
wwweston 4y ago
This is a fair illustration of some failure modes for that choice. I took the other road: during my 20s and early 30s I spent a lot of time chasing meaning while minimizing expenses and the time I put into jobs and other explicitly career-focused choices (although tech-related stuff turned out to be one of my forms of play & exploration, and I did do the startup thing a time or two). Can't say I outright regret this because I do think I exercised a lot of important personal capacities and gained some insights, but at one point I did look around and realize my place in society was effectively "economically marginalized software developer" and that was a weird and probably not optimal tradeoff from both a practical or meaningful standpoint, especially considering I had still had a lot of open questions and anxieties about meaning. So, this path has potential failure modes too. At that point I made a pretty deliberate choice to more or less "sell out." Years later the upsides appear to have outweighed the down, and I find myself with the suspicion that meaning is found/made wherever you meet life thoughtfully and intentionally, and that if I'd chosen finance in my 20s (or more comp-rewarding tech roles) I'd have had opportunities that were different but not without their own affordances for meaning (and probably a higher net worth). Still, I like my work and hobbies, and I never feel there's a shortage of interesting and engaging things to pay attention to in the world. I could continue like this for decades if I'm lucky enough to; my most substantial worries are staving off/prepping for whatever decline in health we all eventually face, and with it capacity to engage the world robustly. Perhaps I didn't do so badly after all.
- ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
  yeah exactly, as a man, you should focus on increasing your status in society, and through those activities that increase status, you ultimately find meaning.
- tdrgabi 4y ago
  Your comment made me think and see the usual "high paid, sell out" - "low paid, high meaning" dichotomy in a different light. I'll ponder it a bit more. Thank you and Merry Xmas.
  - TedDoesntTalk 4y ago

Xeoncross 4y ago

+1 The project outline vs the actual shipped product

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

hinkley 4y ago

> And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

giantg2 4y ago

"you put it on hold for 10-20yrs for $$$, you come out the other end having lost your passion" People change for a lot of reasons. I gave up some hobbies when I had a kid and I'm pretty sure I won't pick them back up when I retire. People's passions change, or they realize certain things are unobtainable. That's just life.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
ip26 4y ago
It’s become clear some hobbies are essentially status-seeking among young adults and/or showing off to potential partners. They simply don’t make much sense anymore for someone married with kids.
- giantg2 4y ago
  Maybe for some. Mine weren't about that, but I could certainly see some people involved in those same activities could be.
- plugin-baby 4y ago
  Sounds like an interesting theory. Can you give some examples of these hobbies?
  - ip26 4y ago
    Motorsports and pushing grades rock climbing, for many people I knew. I am also suspicious of ballet and trivia. You know you’ve found one when, in a gathering, none of the participants seem to particularly like each other and mostly seem interested in one upping the others. A more obvious example is drinking a ton of alcohol at parties.
throwaway2037 4y ago
I agree. The original comment is bizarre, and espouses a black and white view of life. As a general rule, no young person realises how much age and circumstances will change their life. It is impossible to foresee. Every year of my life, something arrives out of the blue that was impossible to foresee and changes the direction of my life. And older people seem to forget their own circumstances in youth.

wwweston 4y ago

This is a fair illustration of some failure modes for that choice. I took the other road: during my 20s and early 30s I spent a lot of time chasing meaning while minimizing expenses and the time I put into jobs and other explicitly career-focused choices (although tech-related stuff turned out to be one of my forms of play & exploration, and I did do the startup thing a time or two). Can't say I outright regret this because I do think I exercised a lot of important personal capacities and gained some insights, but at one point I did look around and realize my place in society was effectively "economically marginalized software developer" and that was a weird and probably not optimal tradeoff from both a practical or meaningful standpoint, especially considering I had still had a lot of open questions and anxieties about meaning. So, this path has potential failure modes too. At that point I made a pretty deliberate choice to more or less "sell out." Years later the upsides appear to have outweighed the down, and I find myself with the suspicion that meaning is found/made wherever you meet life thoughtfully and intentionally, and that if I'd chosen finance in my 20s (or more comp-rewarding tech roles) I'd have had opportunities that were different but not without their own affordances for meaning (and probably a higher net worth). Still, I like my work and hobbies, and I never feel there's a shortage of interesting and engaging things to pay attention to in the world. I could continue like this for decades if I'm lucky enough to; my most substantial worries are staving off/prepping for whatever decline in health we all eventually face, and with it capacity to engage the world robustly. Perhaps I didn't do so badly after all.

ZhangSWEFAANG 4y ago
yeah exactly, as a man, you should focus on increasing your status in society, and through those activities that increase status, you ultimately find meaning.
tdrgabi 4y ago
Your comment made me think and see the usual "high paid, sell out" - "low paid, high meaning" dichotomy in a different light. I'll ponder it a bit more. Thank you and Merry Xmas.
- TedDoesntTalk 4y ago