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I took a step back in my career to work from home, and bring my kids to the kindergarten with my bike some days, and take a late lunch and eat their "dinner" wi

I took a step back in my career to work from home, and bring my kids to the kindergarten with my bike some days, and take a late lunch and eat their "dinner" with them, and it has been totally, totally worth-it. Remote work being a set-back is possibly a side-effect of how I selected my new gig, but it has suited me so well, I don't care about the (temporary) career stagnation. Beautiful story, I felt it hard.

purephase 7y ago
Same here. I think the work-life balance that remote work provides is understated in our society. I get to be far more involved in my kids day-to-day, I know their teachers, friends, and generally what's happening in their lives. I think of the alternative (what I grew up with, and what a lot of my friends with kids are still doing) and it's sad. Barring the awful circumstances of the article (my heart goes out to the author) spending time with our children shouldn't be a chore to fit in. Hug them, tell them how much they mean to you, that's important. Being present in their lives though, for the brief period that life affords us, that is essential.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
stasusmt 7y ago
Good job. But at least your job as a coder you can work anywhere. But some of us have the job that have less choice than another one. But that depend on our priority, our family, our career. our love one.
sailfast 7y ago
Similar story. Made a decision to set aside career path in favor of remote work, flexibility and autonomy (I have young kids) for this exact reason. I will never get this time back. I want as much of it as possible to be ours. These stories bring it home. This post was both heartbreaking, heartwarming, and very emotional to read. Thank you to the author for sharing your story.
JeanMarcS 7y ago
I had the opposite path 4 years ago. After working from home (and watch my kids grow) I had an opportunity to work to help finishing a big project that would make money. It was just 3-4 month of hard work (including almost every week ends and some nights) and then back to normal hours when the project would be on track. Well, as often, months turned to a year, then a year and a half, and no real end of the "hard" part in sight. My son started ignoring me, my daughter waked up early to have a glimpse of me before I go. I finaly ended it (mostly when the word Divorce was pronounced out loud) and fight to be a member of my family again. And work from home. For now, this period was the biggest mistake of my near-half-a-century life, and until the kids can take themselves in charge, I won't move from home again.
- jschwartzi 7y ago
  Yeah, I've never had the experience that those project schedules ever turn out to be realistic. You get to the end and then there's just more stuff to do in less time. And now that you've put in all those hours everybody wonders why you're backing off from the project.
- fuzz4lyfe 7y ago
  My experience is that "crunch time" never actually ends. It just becomes the new normal and expected over time. Its better to deliver under the maximum you are capable unfortunately. Think of it this way, is the company providing the maximum value they can to you?
feistypharit 7y ago
Same here, except I quit completely to stay home with our two kids. The decision was easy. One day when I was working remotely from home, the nanny rushed in carrying my 6 month old daughter. She was completely unresponsive, having her first of many febrile seizures. Eyes rolled back, body limp. We called 911. By the time they arrived she had mostly recovered, crying, but could respond to us. I quit a few months later. She's now 5 and her brother is 7. They grow out of febrile seizures and luckily she hasn't had one now for about 2 years. Overall she had about half a dozen. Besides that, the reason I also it is because if one day, my child is a drug addict, asshole, school shooter, or any other "failure" of sorts. If someone asks me if I did everything I could to prevent it. My answer will be yes, I gave it my all. It seems in the US when people say I want to provide for my children, they mean money. But more money doesn't really help your kids, it helps you. What kids really need is people to provide time.
- Proof 7y ago
  As a Foreign Reader, it really pains me to read that there exists parents in other countries (maybe mostly USA?) that worry about whether their kid will one day become a School-Shooter. :(
  - ses1984 7y ago
    Don't worry, your kid could be the next hitler or stalin! Sorry for the gallows humor...not sorry.
    - Fnoord 7y ago
      Its only recently that we started to frown upon genocide. The atrocities committed in the Middle Ages aren't fresh enough. Mind you, its not "just the numbers". Here's a US example [1]. Or think about stories in the bible about the ill. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_witch_trials https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_witch_trials

purephase 7y ago

Same here. I think the work-life balance that remote work provides is understated in our society. I get to be far more involved in my kids day-to-day, I know their teachers, friends, and generally what's happening in their lives. I think of the alternative (what I grew up with, and what a lot of my friends with kids are still doing) and it's sad. Barring the awful circumstances of the article (my heart goes out to the author) spending time with our children shouldn't be a chore to fit in. Hug them, tell them how much they mean to you, that's important. Being present in their lives though, for the brief period that life affords us, that is essential.

deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

stasusmt 7y ago

Good job. But at least your job as a coder you can work anywhere. But some of us have the job that have less choice than another one. But that depend on our priority, our family, our career. our love one.

sailfast 7y ago

Similar story. Made a decision to set aside career path in favor of remote work, flexibility and autonomy (I have young kids) for this exact reason. I will never get this time back. I want as much of it as possible to be ours. These stories bring it home. This post was both heartbreaking, heartwarming, and very emotional to read. Thank you to the author for sharing your story.

JeanMarcS 7y ago

I had the opposite path 4 years ago. After working from home (and watch my kids grow) I had an opportunity to work to help finishing a big project that would make money. It was just 3-4 month of hard work (including almost every week ends and some nights) and then back to normal hours when the project would be on track. Well, as often, months turned to a year, then a year and a half, and no real end of the "hard" part in sight. My son started ignoring me, my daughter waked up early to have a glimpse of me before I go. I finaly ended it (mostly when the word Divorce was pronounced out loud) and fight to be a member of my family again. And work from home. For now, this period was the biggest mistake of my near-half-a-century life, and until the kids can take themselves in charge, I won't move from home again.

jschwartzi 7y ago
Yeah, I've never had the experience that those project schedules ever turn out to be realistic. You get to the end and then there's just more stuff to do in less time. And now that you've put in all those hours everybody wonders why you're backing off from the project.
fuzz4lyfe 7y ago
My experience is that "crunch time" never actually ends. It just becomes the new normal and expected over time. Its better to deliver under the maximum you are capable unfortunately. Think of it this way, is the company providing the maximum value they can to you?

feistypharit 7y ago

Same here, except I quit completely to stay home with our two kids. The decision was easy. One day when I was working remotely from home, the nanny rushed in carrying my 6 month old daughter. She was completely unresponsive, having her first of many febrile seizures. Eyes rolled back, body limp. We called 911. By the time they arrived she had mostly recovered, crying, but could respond to us. I quit a few months later. She's now 5 and her brother is 7. They grow out of febrile seizures and luckily she hasn't had one now for about 2 years. Overall she had about half a dozen. Besides that, the reason I also it is because if one day, my child is a drug addict, asshole, school shooter, or any other "failure" of sorts. If someone asks me if I did everything I could to prevent it. My answer will be yes, I gave it my all. It seems in the US when people say I want to provide for my children, they mean money. But more money doesn't really help your kids, it helps you. What kids really need is people to provide time.

Proof 7y ago
As a Foreign Reader, it really pains me to read that there exists parents in other countries (maybe mostly USA?) that worry about whether their kid will one day become a School-Shooter. :(
- ses1984 7y ago
  Don't worry, your kid could be the next hitler or stalin! Sorry for the gallows humor...not sorry.
  - Fnoord 7y ago
    Its only recently that we started to frown upon genocide. The atrocities committed in the Middle Ages aren't fresh enough. Mind you, its not "just the numbers". Here's a US example [1]. Or think about stories in the bible about the ill. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_witch_trials https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salem_witch_trials