6 ms·

On the topic of describing the events of the code (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) in great detail, there have been studies showing that bringing the family into

On the topic of describing the events of the code (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) in great detail, there have been studies showing that bringing the family into the room during a code leads to decreased PTSD for the family. From a study in the New England Journal of Medicine: "Conclusions: Family presence during CPR was associated with positive results on psychological variables and did not interfere with medical efforts, increase stress in the health care team, or result in medicolegal conflicts." Full study: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1203366 https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1203366 DOI for Sci-Hub: DOI: 10.1056/NEJMoa1203366

boynamedsue 7y ago
I was in the room when my dad coded. I watched everything. I saw them manually providing oxygen by "bagging" him. I answered questions about DNR. I watched them place eyedrops in to verify death. I walked with his body down to the morgue. I am thankful by the fact that I was there. But I am tormented by it too.
- fapjacks 7y ago
  The first time I saw the death of someone close to me, I was tormented, too, by my own sense of the fragility of life. But especially my own life. I was afraid for myself, and tormented by the certitude of my own terminal existence, the fear amplified by the urgency of my circumstances and especially after witnessing (or participating in) the subsequent deaths of yet more close friends. But after some years of therapy (on a couch with a professional but also especially on drugs in the forest with amateurs), I've come to terms with it, and in fact I get some comfort out of the inevitability of my own death. It's one of the few things we can count on without any doubt, and being able to predict anything about life is a blessing. And actually, instead of being tormented by it, I'm grateful for the experience. I don't take much for granted, and I'm really thankful for every day that I wake up. I genuinely believe that I was given the greatest gift that I could ever receive. And even though it may seem weird to say -- and given that I'm interpreting your words in the right way, and also if you'll pardon my presumption for offering -- I honestly believe that you've been given the very same gift, but that you only don't know how to receive it just yet.
  - anongraddebt 7y ago
    There is a dual or two-aspect irony at the center of modern culture in the West. The ironies - both negative - are the following: (1) An increasing, intentional aversion to one's own death and the death of others. Instead of living life in full awareness that you and those you care about are all dying (in some sense), our culture runs from the prospect of death through various forms of distraction, etc. This adolescent attitude weirdly breeds a callousness of heart. If death isn't something you ever think about, then does it really have meaning? If you always evade the fear instead of confronting it head-on, then there is no real loss or pain or grief. There is less joy precisely because of this evasion, but at least you've numbed yourself, right? (2) The second irony is that even though this culture runs from the thought of death, it is also increasingly a culture of death in some regards. A culture of death is one where individual and collective actions that typically lead to the de-stabilization, weakening, or implosion of the society which celebrates them... are celebrated. This can be seen across the West, regardless of one's ideological slant. Cultural/societal death and decay remain invariant across ideological groups (that is, they have no privileged locus).
    - fapjacks 7y ago
      Facing one's own mortality carries a tacit knowledge of death that can't be got by other means. It's one thing to think about it intellectually, to sort of turn it around in your mind. But it doesn't give you a sense of death. I can tell from your treatment of it that you haven't. And that you hold up this sort of deeply personal interaction as a demonstration of some problems you believe you've identified with an entire culture, I think shows of a different kind of callousness of heart.
      - saiya-jin 7y ago
        Hold your horses a bit, you can't make such blank statements about somebody who you don't know at all. People are so vastly different and unique inside that what works for you and defines you might have little to no meaning to next guy. What you consider an important marker of some aspect of personality might be lacking elsewhere, yet the aspect itself might be very well there. Psychedelic drugs can give you perspective on, well almost everything that nothing else in western culture comes even close to. Or might not, as said we are so unique that no blanket statement can express the truth. As for me, doing some rather extreme sports puts me to situation with imminent fear of death (ie climbing hundreds of meters above ground, used to have strong vertigo all my life), that one becomes well-aware and content with it. Maybe not every climber, but definitely me. If I experience my parents/life partner passing in my hands, it will be a tough moment. But I will manage it, no doubt there. Same goes for rest of close people. If you expose yourself to extremes, you become familiar with how you react to them, and also in managing them.

boynamedsue 7y ago

I was in the room when my dad coded. I watched everything. I saw them manually providing oxygen by "bagging" him. I answered questions about DNR. I watched them place eyedrops in to verify death. I walked with his body down to the morgue. I am thankful by the fact that I was there. But I am tormented by it too.

fapjacks 7y ago
The first time I saw the death of someone close to me, I was tormented, too, by my own sense of the fragility of life. But especially my own life. I was afraid for myself, and tormented by the certitude of my own terminal existence, the fear amplified by the urgency of my circumstances and especially after witnessing (or participating in) the subsequent deaths of yet more close friends. But after some years of therapy (on a couch with a professional but also especially on drugs in the forest with amateurs), I've come to terms with it, and in fact I get some comfort out of the inevitability of my own death. It's one of the few things we can count on without any doubt, and being able to predict anything about life is a blessing. And actually, instead of being tormented by it, I'm grateful for the experience. I don't take much for granted, and I'm really thankful for every day that I wake up. I genuinely believe that I was given the greatest gift that I could ever receive. And even though it may seem weird to say -- and given that I'm interpreting your words in the right way, and also if you'll pardon my presumption for offering -- I honestly believe that you've been given the very same gift, but that you only don't know how to receive it just yet.
- anongraddebt 7y ago
  There is a dual or two-aspect irony at the center of modern culture in the West. The ironies - both negative - are the following: (1) An increasing, intentional aversion to one's own death and the death of others. Instead of living life in full awareness that you and those you care about are all dying (in some sense), our culture runs from the prospect of death through various forms of distraction, etc. This adolescent attitude weirdly breeds a callousness of heart. If death isn't something you ever think about, then does it really have meaning? If you always evade the fear instead of confronting it head-on, then there is no real loss or pain or grief. There is less joy precisely because of this evasion, but at least you've numbed yourself, right? (2) The second irony is that even though this culture runs from the thought of death, it is also increasingly a culture of death in some regards. A culture of death is one where individual and collective actions that typically lead to the de-stabilization, weakening, or implosion of the society which celebrates them... are celebrated. This can be seen across the West, regardless of one's ideological slant. Cultural/societal death and decay remain invariant across ideological groups (that is, they have no privileged locus).
  - fapjacks 7y ago
    Facing one's own mortality carries a tacit knowledge of death that can't be got by other means. It's one thing to think about it intellectually, to sort of turn it around in your mind. But it doesn't give you a sense of death. I can tell from your treatment of it that you haven't. And that you hold up this sort of deeply personal interaction as a demonstration of some problems you believe you've identified with an entire culture, I think shows of a different kind of callousness of heart.
    - saiya-jin 7y ago
      Hold your horses a bit, you can't make such blank statements about somebody who you don't know at all. People are so vastly different and unique inside that what works for you and defines you might have little to no meaning to next guy. What you consider an important marker of some aspect of personality might be lacking elsewhere, yet the aspect itself might be very well there. Psychedelic drugs can give you perspective on, well almost everything that nothing else in western culture comes even close to. Or might not, as said we are so unique that no blanket statement can express the truth. As for me, doing some rather extreme sports puts me to situation with imminent fear of death (ie climbing hundreds of meters above ground, used to have strong vertigo all my life), that one becomes well-aware and content with it. Maybe not every climber, but definitely me. If I experience my parents/life partner passing in my hands, it will be a tough moment. But I will manage it, no doubt there. Same goes for rest of close people. If you expose yourself to extremes, you become familiar with how you react to them, and also in managing them.