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Small lies like that are a huge part of everyday communications. No one should feel overly guilty about them and we need to be able to make them. They can be a
by hiamnew 11y ago
Small lies like that are a huge part of everyday communications. No one should feel overly guilty about them and we need to be able to make them. They can be a kind of courtesy.
- icebraining 11y agoOn that note, I recommend Mark Twain's On The Decay Of The Art Of Lying: http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/2572/pg2572.html http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/2572/pg2572.html
- dmak 11y agoWhile I do agree with being able to make small lies, but why would you tell someone whose waiting for you that you are 5 minutes away if you are clearly not. Maybe it's just me, but when someone says 5 minutes, I don't expect 10, 15, or 30. I expect 5 minutes. This is especially true in Asian cultures.
- xux 11y agoThe point is, it doesn't matter. It's none of your business why someone lies.
- dmak 11y agoActually, the point is to manage expectations. Instead of saying I'll be there in 5 minutes, it would be better to say I am going to be X minutes late. There's lying to hide your business, but there's also lying and being inconsiderate of other people's time.
- Squarel 11y agoOr, it could be your best estimate, based on current traffic conditions or walking speed. I always underestimate how long it will take,this does not mean I am lying, it means I am bad at guessing how long it takes me to walk/drive/sit in a train somewhere
- lmm 11y agoIn which case surely your friend getting an automatic, accurate version of your position from facebook would be better for both of you?
- personlurking 11y agoOne of the worst offenders is Brazil. When living there, it was common to hear "I'm on my way" (to an agreed meeting point at a specific time) but that could mean they actually are on their way or that they've just got up from the couch and will go take a shower, choose what to wear, maybe have a bite to eat and then think about transportation. Knowing this, the trick was either to not take specific times seriously or to give a fake meeting time (earlier than the actual one) so the person gets there on time.
- tolt 11y agoAs a norwegian living in Peru I used the same methods. I started to tell my peruvian friends that we were meeting at a resturant instead of a street corner. Different cultures have different understanding of time.
- at-fates-hands 11y agoWhen I was in college, my Native American roommate introduced to "native time" which is the same as you related it while you were in Brazil. If he had no set time to meet, he'd say he would be there around "native o' clock" which meant he would be there at the time +/- 30-45 minutes. If we agreed to a specific time, he would be there on time. It really helped me and I learned a lot about how Native American culture operated while we were roommates.
- paganel 11y agoIt depends on the culture. When I hear "I'll be late 5 minutes" that usually means 10 or 15, "10 minutes late" means an actual 20 or 30 minutes, while everything higher than 20 minutes could mean an actual hour. I live in Romania.
- dmak 11y ago"I'll be late 5 minutes" does not have the same set of expectations for "I am just five minutes away" which is what kanche said.
- dalore 11y agoI'll be late 5 minutes means you're 10 minutes away (5 minutes to get there on time and 5 minutes of being late).
- Fuxy 11y agoThat's why i set myself a rule of whenever somebody says I will be there in 5 minutes I translate it to give me 5 minutes to show up if i don't forget about it. And I hold everyone to it. If you don't show up in the amount of time you specify I'm gone. I'm Romanian too I just hate wasting my time. My friends learned that really quickly.
- rokhayakebe 11y agoIf you don't show up in the amount of time you specify I'm gone. Respect.
- deleted 11y ago[deleted]
- untog 11y agoWhat if they get stuck on the train? There are other, non-lazy reasons for being late. If I'd taken a 30 minute train ride to come and see you, been delayed by 10 minutes, then find you're gone when I arrive I don't think our friendship would last very long.
- qubex 11y agoHe might've been closer than he was making out to be. Yours is an unwarranted assumption.
- nodata 11y agoWhat's the benefit (to both parties) for the example he gave?
- learnstats2 11y agoWhen people make this lie, what they are really saying is: "Stop whatever you are doing and be ready and waiting for when I finally arrive". The negative consequences fall on the person receiving the lie. It's not a courtesy. It has long-term consequences to your credibility and trustworthiness. It is far better to tell the truth in this case.
- Squarel 11y agoThe truth would be "I have no clue how long it will take me to get there"
- learnstats2 11y ago"I just passed landmark X and I'm on foot" is often more helpful.
- corobo 11y agoOr maybe "Here's my GPS coords and current speed". Facebook Messenger should add direction and speed information!
- mc808 11y agoIt would also be helpful if they could notify the recipient when my digestive system is below 10% capacity, so they would know that I'm likely to stop for a bite to eat (and maybe suggest a good restaurant nearby if Facebook hasn't done so already).
- smokinn 11y agoGlympse does this: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glympse.android.glympse&hl=en https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glympse.an...
- spacemanmatt 11y agoDoes it still suck raw eggs? I wanted that functionality but found Glympse too horrible to use at the time, a while back.
- rdl 11y agoThere are also cases where lying to say something is longer than the direct distance is more accurate. i.e. if I know I'm going to stop for gas/etc., even if I'm "5 minutes away" by distance, I might say I'm 10 minutes away.