8 ms·

i'm incredibly reluctant to post in threads like this, but I think this attitude is actually hurting diversity in the industry: excessive "chivalry" by males gi

i'm incredibly reluctant to post in threads like this, but I think this attitude is actually hurting diversity in the industry: excessive "chivalry" by males gives more of an illusion of preferential treatment when women stand up to discrimination, which is just more fuel for the gender war fire. women need our support, not our defense. it's fine to be outraged, but your response should not be to go on the offensive.

deleted 12y ago
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munin 12y ago
Attitudes like this are why stories like this still happen in 2014.
- Karunamon 12y ago
  Attitudes like what?
scott_karana 12y ago
If women can't speak up, lest they be further marginalized, and men can't speak up, lest they add more fuel, what can be done?... (Not that I disagree at all! Serious question.)
- kansface 12y ago
  You are directly responsible for yourself and anyone you employ. You have some responsibility for the actions of those you do business with insomuch as you can stop doing business with them. Lets start here.
- Mz 12y ago
  Women and men can, and should, both speak up (or, better, take action). It's not a question of IF, it's a question of when and how.
- sunir 12y ago
  Speaking up is required and necessary. You have to bring terrible situations to light. Wrecking people's reputations and careers with mob justice is unacceptable. You must not burn situations with fire.
nmcfarl 12y ago
Maybe. But from my perspective when people are actively destroying communities, companies, or other groups I’m a member of, I tend to take action. And I’d be very disinclined to just skip on action because it could be seen as defending a woman. However it should be said that so many of these things are dependent on the people involved. I’ve never been accused of/(praised for) acting chivalrous in nearly 40 years on the planet. I suspect I can get away with things that people who open car doors can’t. However I bet those people have plenty of tools at their disposal to make it clear that they aren’t defending anyone - but rather attacking poor behavior. I say they should act and use those tools, rather than not acting.

deleted 12y ago

[deleted]

munin 12y ago

Attitudes like this are why stories like this still happen in 2014.

Karunamon 12y ago
Attitudes like what?

scott_karana 12y ago

If women can't speak up, lest they be further marginalized, and men can't speak up, lest they add more fuel, what can be done?... (Not that I disagree at all! Serious question.)

kansface 12y ago
You are directly responsible for yourself and anyone you employ. You have some responsibility for the actions of those you do business with insomuch as you can stop doing business with them. Lets start here.
Mz 12y ago
Women and men can, and should, both speak up (or, better, take action). It's not a question of IF, it's a question of when and how.
sunir 12y ago
Speaking up is required and necessary. You have to bring terrible situations to light. Wrecking people's reputations and careers with mob justice is unacceptable. You must not burn situations with fire.

nmcfarl 12y ago

Maybe. But from my perspective when people are actively destroying communities, companies, or other groups I’m a member of, I tend to take action. And I’d be very disinclined to just skip on action because it could be seen as defending a woman. However it should be said that so many of these things are dependent on the people involved. I’ve never been accused of/(praised for) acting chivalrous in nearly 40 years on the planet. I suspect I can get away with things that people who open car doors can’t. However I bet those people have plenty of tools at their disposal to make it clear that they aren’t defending anyone - but rather attacking poor behavior. I say they should act and use those tools, rather than not acting.