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One thing missing here: Ask the "target" person before lobbing an introduction into their inbox. Intros aren't always welcome - the target could be busy, trave

One thing missing here: Ask the "target" person before lobbing an introduction into their inbox. Intros aren't always welcome - the target could be busy, traveling or have a conflict of interest. They may not be in a position to give that person time, however helpful they would like to be. When the supplier assumes the introduction is okay, they can put both sides of the intro in a tough spot.

ebuchholz 13y ago
Great point. An unwanted intro can annoy everyone involved.
- itsjaredc 13y ago
  Agreed. That's actually the most important part of intro etiquette.
CompassMD 13y ago
Completely agree. Never assume that all intros are welcome, verify!
wallacrw 13y ago
I disagree with this in 9/10 cases. If you're so busy you can't take 15 minutes to chat with someone who comes from outside your network, you're doing something wrong. Get over yourself, take the intro and try to be classy about it. The 1/10 case would be intros to people who are either in a position where they likely receive dozens of emails from folks they don't know every day (e.g., VCs) or folks with enough name recognition to be in that same spot (e.g., famous people you might know). You might jeopardize your relationship with the person in that case, but for most of your friends and pretty much anyone reading this comment, you're better off being open instead of self-important.
- jtoeman 13y ago
  couldn't disagree more. introing someone without checking in is disrespectful of the other person's time. at least 9/10 times.
  - wallacrw 13y ago
    This perspective asks too much of everyone. If I want to make an intro to you, it's because I think it's helpful. It's the opposite of disrespect. To then place the additional burden on me of checking in with you first is, in my mind, just cocky. Not my job to know your schedule, and how about respecting the fact that I'm trying to help? People who insist on pre-introductions are vastly overestimating how much others should be thinking about them or "respecting their time," which is actually no one else's business. Responsible adults can handle the additional burden of someone trying to help.
    - swampthing 13y ago
      I don't think people have a huge issue with blind introductions when it's clear that the intention is to help them. I suspect most of the issue is when the benefit to them is unclear / dubious / highly theoretical - when the benefit is more clearly going to the introducer or the person to whom you're being introduced.
    - jtoeman 13y ago
      OK, so I'll add some context, you tell me what you think. I have almost 20 years experience in 2 very niche fields (consumer electronics and TV technologies). As a result, I've built up a lot of domain expertise and a lot of industry contacts. Again - no judgement here on whether I'm good or not, just stating some facts. I frequently get emails from people introducing me to "Bob" who is starting a hardware startup and really wants to learn how to bring a gadget to market. For me, this is fun - I love to talk about this stuff. I've mentored/nurtured/consulted for dozens of these startups, and continue to do so to this day. BUT - I'm also running a startup and have a family at home. Which means I have much, much less time available than I used to. So every "Fun" activity I choose to take takes away from either my work time or my personal time. This is fine - as long as I can manage it. Which I do. Until requests show up uninvited. Which now puts, as I've said, a burden in my lap. I can choose to either (A) reply and take on the intro, (B) reply and decline (as politely as I possibly can), or (C) ignore it. So I never do (C), as I feel it's rude, but I can guarantee you that every time I do (B) I create a negative perception about myself. I don't like being put in a position where I have to tell other people - who genuinely could use my help - that I am too busy for them. But what else am I supposed to do? Whereas when my colleague asks if I'm up for an intro, and I can say no to someone who I already have a relationship with, and will understand me, is fine to me. Maybe you think the above is wrong, but I don't... Looking forward to your reply.
- nsmnsf 13y ago
  > If you're so busy you can't take 15 minutes to chat with someone who comes from outside your network, you're doing something wrong I'm not busy, I just don't want to. I don't want to hear about your startup. I don't want to hear about how great of an opportunity working for it is. I want to read a book, go running, or hang out with my friends.
mathattack 13y ago
This is a tough one. The challenge with doing this is it greatly increases the work involved, and increases the chance that something gets dropped. I try to balance it by including everyone on the first note if I can satisfy one of the criterias: - It would be plausible for them to know each other, and they are of similar status. - One of them is in the job of taking these intros. (Recruiters, etc) - I'm 95% sure that they'll hit it off immediately.

ebuchholz 13y ago

Great point. An unwanted intro can annoy everyone involved.

itsjaredc 13y ago
Agreed. That's actually the most important part of intro etiquette.

CompassMD 13y ago

Completely agree. Never assume that all intros are welcome, verify!

wallacrw 13y ago

I disagree with this in 9/10 cases. If you're so busy you can't take 15 minutes to chat with someone who comes from outside your network, you're doing something wrong. Get over yourself, take the intro and try to be classy about it. The 1/10 case would be intros to people who are either in a position where they likely receive dozens of emails from folks they don't know every day (e.g., VCs) or folks with enough name recognition to be in that same spot (e.g., famous people you might know). You might jeopardize your relationship with the person in that case, but for most of your friends and pretty much anyone reading this comment, you're better off being open instead of self-important.

jtoeman 13y ago
couldn't disagree more. introing someone without checking in is disrespectful of the other person's time. at least 9/10 times.
- wallacrw 13y ago
  This perspective asks too much of everyone. If I want to make an intro to you, it's because I think it's helpful. It's the opposite of disrespect. To then place the additional burden on me of checking in with you first is, in my mind, just cocky. Not my job to know your schedule, and how about respecting the fact that I'm trying to help? People who insist on pre-introductions are vastly overestimating how much others should be thinking about them or "respecting their time," which is actually no one else's business. Responsible adults can handle the additional burden of someone trying to help.
  - swampthing 13y ago
    I don't think people have a huge issue with blind introductions when it's clear that the intention is to help them. I suspect most of the issue is when the benefit to them is unclear / dubious / highly theoretical - when the benefit is more clearly going to the introducer or the person to whom you're being introduced.
  - jtoeman 13y ago
    OK, so I'll add some context, you tell me what you think. I have almost 20 years experience in 2 very niche fields (consumer electronics and TV technologies). As a result, I've built up a lot of domain expertise and a lot of industry contacts. Again - no judgement here on whether I'm good or not, just stating some facts. I frequently get emails from people introducing me to "Bob" who is starting a hardware startup and really wants to learn how to bring a gadget to market. For me, this is fun - I love to talk about this stuff. I've mentored/nurtured/consulted for dozens of these startups, and continue to do so to this day. BUT - I'm also running a startup and have a family at home. Which means I have much, much less time available than I used to. So every "Fun" activity I choose to take takes away from either my work time or my personal time. This is fine - as long as I can manage it. Which I do. Until requests show up uninvited. Which now puts, as I've said, a burden in my lap. I can choose to either (A) reply and take on the intro, (B) reply and decline (as politely as I possibly can), or (C) ignore it. So I never do (C), as I feel it's rude, but I can guarantee you that every time I do (B) I create a negative perception about myself. I don't like being put in a position where I have to tell other people - who genuinely could use my help - that I am too busy for them. But what else am I supposed to do? Whereas when my colleague asks if I'm up for an intro, and I can say no to someone who I already have a relationship with, and will understand me, is fine to me. Maybe you think the above is wrong, but I don't... Looking forward to your reply.
nsmnsf 13y ago
> If you're so busy you can't take 15 minutes to chat with someone who comes from outside your network, you're doing something wrong I'm not busy, I just don't want to. I don't want to hear about your startup. I don't want to hear about how great of an opportunity working for it is. I want to read a book, go running, or hang out with my friends.

mathattack 13y ago

This is a tough one. The challenge with doing this is it greatly increases the work involved, and increases the chance that something gets dropped. I try to balance it by including everyone on the first note if I can satisfy one of the criterias: - It would be plausible for them to know each other, and they are of similar status. - One of them is in the job of taking these intros. (Recruiters, etc) - I'm 95% sure that they'll hit it off immediately.