5 ms·
Sorry if I come of a bit harsh (personal bias, I'm aware), but here's my input: As someone who grew up in two different places (granted, they were strong oppos
by ZirconCode 13y ago
Sorry if I come of a bit harsh (personal bias, I'm aware), but here's my input:
As someone who grew up in two different places (granted, they were strong opposites), and as someone who knew many children whose parents moved a lot, I'm warning you; It has a very negative effect on most children, loosing your friends/peers and not being allowed to "invest" in them. As an adult you might think, oh, well he can use Skype or e-mail then, and what's so bad about making new friends. No. Eventually most of them stop making friends, or make them very superficially. Your kids most likely won't have childhood friends, friends they trust, nor close friends. And no, family (or you) is not a substitute either.
> sacrificing the safety & comfort of a ‘normal life’ and just doing what it takes to make something happen
That's great as long as it's only your stuff you're sacrificing.
I do commend the bravery and spirit, but I'm strongly against including kids in it.
- teemujin 13y agoThats interesting because I was included in my dads military life - pretty much daily... moving, losing friends and remaking them was all apart of my up bringing...and as someone who grew up in many places with many cultures around me - I would argue that diversity and change are things to embrace...learn on your feet is good sometimes too. I get the feeling people think I've abandoned my kids - they are right here next to me...and now I get to see them more than I would at someone else's office...and I get to show them what I'm doing and explain to them what it takes to make things happen ( for me anyhow )...its on them to learn from their own life experiences...I just hope to give them the proper outlook to handle things that might seem harsh - so they can survive it and move beyond it if needed.
- seanp2k2 13y agoI don't have any friends I communicate with on even a monthly basis that I've known since even highschool. We'd have to bump it up to college for friends that I speak with monthly. I lived in the same place with my parents for 21 years. While not negating your point, it's possible to have the same issue when you do stay in one spot. I do have close friends, and I do have friends I trust...I've just met them all in the past few years. Do I wish I had a group of people I grew up with? Sure, and I envy that in some, but the great thing about being an adult is that you get to pick your own family.
- xradionut 13y ago"That's great as long as it's only your stuff you're sacrificing." My parents moved again and again then divorced and moved again and again. I attended four different high schools and have no life-long childhood friends nor a "hometown" nor many great memories of family. My siblings and I were the casualties of their lifestyle and half of us are dead before 30. Our education and many other advantages of a more stable life suffered.
- teemujin 13y agoSorry to hear that... We moved at least every 5yrs - my dad was in the military... I also don't have a hometown and went to plenty of different schools around the world. I don't have any of the negative feelings about moving or not having a real hometown... nor did I have any issues keeping friends long distance or otherwise. Just to give you some perspective... not everyone has the same experiences.
- jcampbell1 13y agoI feel like moving with the military, or going to an American school in a foreign country is less problematic than other situations. Starting at a new High School in Norfolk VA is different from starting at a new High School in St Louis. Going to college where you don't know anyone is not a problem because everyone else is in the same boat. Military brats and expat kids are much more receptive to new friends than their typical peers. If the new school has plenty of them, the experience is likely not so bad.
- teemujin 13y agoI think military kids are just taught to get over it - and not be whiners...thats really my take. I went to plenty of 'offbase' public schools where I was not only one of the 'few' military brats... but also completely foreign ( I'm half-Asian - try doing that in the deep south? ). ;) Being receptive is about learning to accept that shits changed and you either adapt or turn into a hermit... its also about knowing that people are not that different from each other - they just have different experiences of the world... I accept people for who they are - not where they live or what they do - or even for what the may not have experienced...and I usually find it easy to make new friends.
- mathattack 13y agoI'm from the "one set of friends childhood through high school" crowd and I have to admit that it took a few instances of getting dumped into situations where I didn't know anyone (college, first job after college) to get where I was socially comfortable in a new place. I don't have a big opinion on either side, other than too much disruption seems not good for kids if want to teach them the importance of relationships.