Just in case this saves someone's time: phantomjs-node uses ridiculous hacks. Not being rude but I think the author was drunk when writing that. I ended up was

Just in case this saves someone's time: phantomjs-node uses ridiculous hacks. Not being rude but I think the author was drunk when writing that. I ended up wasting quite some time when trying to customize it. You do NOT need to use any hacks whatsoever to run dnode on phantom, just browserify(https://github.com/substack/node-browserify https://github.com/substack/node-browserify) the shoe and dnode modules and use the example code at https://github.com/substack/dnode https://github.com/substack/dnode .