6 ms·

daycare at say 14 sounds suboptimal

bluGill 7d ago
Each culture is a little different. What are you going to do with your kids when the parents are working is a problem? At what time do you trust them to stay home by themself?
- brailsafe 7d ago
  8-12 unless they have serious developmental issues. 15 is ridiculous
  - bluGill 7d ago
    That is your opinion. Which is fine. However try not to judge others.
    - brailsafe 7d ago
      That was my experience and is my opinion, and I do try not to judge others, but 15 year olds are past the point where they can have jobs and are doing the babysitting. If my friend was treating their teenager this way—assuming their kid wasn't significantly mentally or physically handicapped—I'd ask them why they insist on maintaining such an absurd level of control as to infantilize said teenager on their way into secondary school. I wouldn't insult or suggest overall bad parenting—that's rude and not my place—but if they couldn't grapple with that, I'd probably question my relationship with them in much the same way I'd question my relationship with a parent who refused to let their kid learn about sex or evolution. Based on their level of maturity and actual evident danger in the immediate surrounding area, 8 on the low end, 12 or maaybe 13 on the high end, anything higher and I'd say something's gone wrong, perhaps at the societal level.
- deleted 7d ago
  [deleted]
- fpoling 7d ago
  In Soviet Union times in eighties in Belarus it was considered ok that a child could stay alone at home from age of 7 when they started a school. Some parents opted for after-school programs and some relied on grandmothers like it was for me but some of my schoolmates stayed at home alone for few hours until their mothers would be back from work (fathers typically worked longer and further away from home). And from the age of 9 there was no after-school options at least in my school.
- throw0101d 7d ago
  > At what time do you trust them to stay home by themself? As a GenXer, ~12 (?): * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid
  - Sohcahtoa82 7d ago
    Elder millennial here, though my sister was young GenX. I was born in '82, she was born in '79. I'm pretty sure my parents stopped hiring baby sitters once my sister turned 12. But even aside from that, I was allowed to play outside unsupervised at 7 years old. Though we did live on a Navy base at the time, so I wonder if that played a factor.
    - throw0101d 6d ago
      > Elder millennial here, though my sister was young GenX. I was born in '82, she was born in '79. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials
- creaturemachine 7d ago
  Where I live they are dismissed on their own as young as 8, and so long as they have a safe way home then a couple hours alone isn't going to hurt. There are enough electronic distractions at home now that they won't turn to delinquency. 15 is bonkers. There should be no need to keep your teenager on-leash for that long.
  - purpleflame1257 7d ago
    If I might ask, where do you live? In America a woman was arrested for letting her child walk in her own neighborhood. https://people.com/va-mom-convicted-for-letting-5-year-old-walk-alone-to-pond-plans-to-appeal-12111373 https://people.com/va-mom-convicted-for-letting-5-year-old-w...
    - creaturemachine 7d ago
      Canada. No gated suburb necessary, just a walkable neighbourhood.
    - TheCoelacanth 6d ago
      That's extreme and unusual prosecutorial overreach to the point that it's making national news. It's also unlikely that she will be convicted since VA passed a law in 2023 that makes it explicit that parents are allowed to let their children go places alone.

Each culture is a little different. What are you going to do with your kids when the parents are working is a problem? At what time do you trust them to stay home by themself?

brailsafe 7d ago
8-12 unless they have serious developmental issues. 15 is ridiculous
- bluGill 7d ago
  That is your opinion. Which is fine. However try not to judge others.
  - brailsafe 7d ago
    That was my experience and is my opinion, and I do try not to judge others, but 15 year olds are past the point where they can have jobs and are doing the babysitting. If my friend was treating their teenager this way—assuming their kid wasn't significantly mentally or physically handicapped—I'd ask them why they insist on maintaining such an absurd level of control as to infantilize said teenager on their way into secondary school. I wouldn't insult or suggest overall bad parenting—that's rude and not my place—but if they couldn't grapple with that, I'd probably question my relationship with them in much the same way I'd question my relationship with a parent who refused to let their kid learn about sex or evolution. Based on their level of maturity and actual evident danger in the immediate surrounding area, 8 on the low end, 12 or maaybe 13 on the high end, anything higher and I'd say something's gone wrong, perhaps at the societal level.
deleted 7d ago
[deleted]
fpoling 7d ago
In Soviet Union times in eighties in Belarus it was considered ok that a child could stay alone at home from age of 7 when they started a school. Some parents opted for after-school programs and some relied on grandmothers like it was for me but some of my schoolmates stayed at home alone for few hours until their mothers would be back from work (fathers typically worked longer and further away from home). And from the age of 9 there was no after-school options at least in my school.
throw0101d 7d ago
> At what time do you trust them to stay home by themself? As a GenXer, ~12 (?): * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid
- Sohcahtoa82 7d ago
  Elder millennial here, though my sister was young GenX. I was born in '82, she was born in '79. I'm pretty sure my parents stopped hiring baby sitters once my sister turned 12. But even aside from that, I was allowed to play outside unsupervised at 7 years old. Though we did live on a Navy base at the time, so I wonder if that played a factor.
  - throw0101d 6d ago
    > Elder millennial here, though my sister was young GenX. I was born in '82, she was born in '79. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials
creaturemachine 7d ago
Where I live they are dismissed on their own as young as 8, and so long as they have a safe way home then a couple hours alone isn't going to hurt. There are enough electronic distractions at home now that they won't turn to delinquency. 15 is bonkers. There should be no need to keep your teenager on-leash for that long.
- purpleflame1257 7d ago
  If I might ask, where do you live? In America a woman was arrested for letting her child walk in her own neighborhood. https://people.com/va-mom-convicted-for-letting-5-year-old-walk-alone-to-pond-plans-to-appeal-12111373 https://people.com/va-mom-convicted-for-letting-5-year-old-w...
  - creaturemachine 7d ago
    Canada. No gated suburb necessary, just a walkable neighbourhood.
  - TheCoelacanth 6d ago
    That's extreme and unusual prosecutorial overreach to the point that it's making national news. It's also unlikely that she will be convicted since VA passed a law in 2023 that makes it explicit that parents are allowed to let their children go places alone.