6 ms·

Sounds like your relationship is suffering. If it’s as you describe, in my eyes, that counts as broken. Do you have any biological children? This child is not

Sounds like your relationship is suffering. If it’s as you describe, in my eyes, that counts as broken. Do you have any biological children? This child is not yours, you made that sufficiently clear.

999900000999 20d ago
Not everyone should be a step parent. GP, you don’t have to do it. I’d much rather be alone forever than treat another human being as a mere obstacle to my happiness.
- rickydroll 20d ago
  It's one of those choice not choices. I love my partner a lot. We bought a house together with a great yard with a significant fruit and veggie garden. Separating would be significantly destructive / damaging on both a personal and financial levels. That said, I entered this relationship without fully understanding the impact of an autistic child. I would not condemn anyone who refused to be in a relationship if the other person had an autistic child.
  - 999900000999 20d ago
    > I would not condemn anyone who refused to be in a relationship if the other person had an autistic child. Let me correct that for you, > I would not condemn anyone who refused to be in a relationship if the other person had a child. Being a step parent is one of the most difficult things a person can do. If you can’t or don’t want to do it that’s fine.
    - rickydroll 20d ago
      That's a good correction. Heck, leaving space for the child to grow up and have their mom when they need them and not helping if it is not asked for is difficult at times. From my admittedly limited experience, the parent and child have relationship that will keep you on the outside even if the family has made a conscious choice to include you as a step parent. I have made a conscious choice to be okay with being on the outside. My deepest relationship and commitment is with my partner. Everything else is secondary... except maybe watering the plants in the garden during a drought.
      - 999900000999 20d ago
        Ok. You have 2 options. Stop making so many harmful assumptions about your partners child. Theirs a good chance he’s just weird and he’ll grow out of it, but you’re not exactly helping here. Hell, to be honest I was weird as shit as a kid until my dad kicked me out and then I matured real quick. If I had to guess my issue is that I’m essentially half asleep most of the time unless I have a Red Bull or 2. Or you can always just leave. Right now your post reads like ; “This annoying kid is messing up my relationship with his mom, I’m the victim here” I’d venture to say all kids are annoying and if you can’t deal with that date someone without kids.
rickydroll 20d ago
Yeah, it does suffer but we make a conscious effort to find the positive things in our relationship and life. No, I do not have any children of my own. I am thankful for that because my ex-wife apparently was also autistic but not diagnosed until after divorce. On my maternal side of the family all of us kids inherited some form of severe depression through my brother was schizoaffective. I survived, found good treatment that left me feeling like myself with a clear mind. My brother on the other hand was tortured by his demons and ended up taking his life a couple of years ago. Not having kids was a conscious decision because I didn't want to take a chance of spreading the family curse to the next generation

999900000999 20d ago

Not everyone should be a step parent. GP, you don’t have to do it. I’d much rather be alone forever than treat another human being as a mere obstacle to my happiness.

rickydroll 20d ago
It's one of those choice not choices. I love my partner a lot. We bought a house together with a great yard with a significant fruit and veggie garden. Separating would be significantly destructive / damaging on both a personal and financial levels. That said, I entered this relationship without fully understanding the impact of an autistic child. I would not condemn anyone who refused to be in a relationship if the other person had an autistic child.
- 999900000999 20d ago
  > I would not condemn anyone who refused to be in a relationship if the other person had an autistic child. Let me correct that for you, > I would not condemn anyone who refused to be in a relationship if the other person had a child. Being a step parent is one of the most difficult things a person can do. If you can’t or don’t want to do it that’s fine.
  - rickydroll 20d ago
    That's a good correction. Heck, leaving space for the child to grow up and have their mom when they need them and not helping if it is not asked for is difficult at times. From my admittedly limited experience, the parent and child have relationship that will keep you on the outside even if the family has made a conscious choice to include you as a step parent. I have made a conscious choice to be okay with being on the outside. My deepest relationship and commitment is with my partner. Everything else is secondary... except maybe watering the plants in the garden during a drought.
    - 999900000999 20d ago
      Ok. You have 2 options. Stop making so many harmful assumptions about your partners child. Theirs a good chance he’s just weird and he’ll grow out of it, but you’re not exactly helping here. Hell, to be honest I was weird as shit as a kid until my dad kicked me out and then I matured real quick. If I had to guess my issue is that I’m essentially half asleep most of the time unless I have a Red Bull or 2. Or you can always just leave. Right now your post reads like ; “This annoying kid is messing up my relationship with his mom, I’m the victim here” I’d venture to say all kids are annoying and if you can’t deal with that date someone without kids.

rickydroll 20d ago

Yeah, it does suffer but we make a conscious effort to find the positive things in our relationship and life. No, I do not have any children of my own. I am thankful for that because my ex-wife apparently was also autistic but not diagnosed until after divorce. On my maternal side of the family all of us kids inherited some form of severe depression through my brother was schizoaffective. I survived, found good treatment that left me feeling like myself with a clear mind. My brother on the other hand was tortured by his demons and ended up taking his life a couple of years ago. Not having kids was a conscious decision because I didn't want to take a chance of spreading the family curse to the next generation