6 ms·

I wish. The small inconvenience of putting in an IBAN and a matching name instead of just an email address is already enough for many people to default to paypa

• carlosjobim 21d ago
  "The guy" probably let you know in a polite way that you were behaving immaturely. You're not supposed to ask your friends for money to split bills etc. The way grown ups do it is "I pay this time, you pay next time".
  • socksy 21d ago
    This is not how German culture works.
  • drabbiticus 21d ago
    This seems likely to be cultural, possibly even microcultural. I know many adults who believe that splitting bills is a normal and reasonable thing to do.
    • carlosjobim 21d ago
      Splitting bills, where each pay a part in the restaurant, fine. Splitting bills where one pays and the other sends him money, not.
      • drabbiticus 21d ago
        Who is making these rules up? Why do you think they apply universally?
        • carlosjobim 20d ago
          God made them, as far as I know. Humanity lived in gift economies long before the invention of barter and trade. These are etiquette rules, which have their benefits. Since nobody is forced to follow etiquette, they help you to learn things about people. Generosity is one of the easiest life hacks to find out who is friendly towards you and who is not. If you buy them a drink and they won't buy you a drink back, that's a tiny cost for you to know what kind of fellow you're dealing with. If they buy you a drink and then asks you to transfer money to them, you also learn something about them. If people splitting bills want to sit and count to make sure that everybody pays exactly for what they had, then you learn something. And so on. If you invite people for dinner a few times, you will learn something about that person whether you wanted to or not.
          • drabbiticus 20d ago
            The presence of social constructs is advantageous to group survival, and an individual operating within a given set of such constructs may choose to adhere to or reject the norms of those constructs. As you say, you do learn things about people through interacting with them. I think ideally this interaction includes discovering what their norms are, whether they believe they are conforming/rejecting/otherwise to a status quo, and the reason for it. The action itself is may not be sufficient to infer an individual's values without the context and reasoning, especially in the absence of clear communication. Social constructs are local to social groups and subgroups, with differing levels of conservation and generalization between groups.
  • mr_mitm 21d ago
    No, he didn't. He offered to cover a case of beer for after our game at the park, but he didn't have a car, so he asked me to bring it and he'll pay for it. Afterwards he came to me (I never brought up the topic of money) and asked for my Paypal details. How am I in the wrong here? The whole "I pay this time you pay next time" is already covered by "everybody brings a case once in a while", but if the guys without cars just ask someone else to pay for it when it's their turn it won't add up. If you're going to make assumptions, perhaps start with those that don't paint me in a bad light.
    • carlosjobim 21d ago
      You weren't in the wrong, he was. He shouldn't have asked somebody to pay for something and bring it if he didn't have the money at hand to cover for it. PayPal isn't real money in this case. If this was a long time friend, I'd let it slide. It's just a case of beer, and in Germany beer is dirt cheap. If this was a new acquaintance, I'd let it slide and take note that it's not a person to make friends with. > If you're going to make assumptions, perhaps start with those that don't paint me in a bad light. Good point. But all of this isn't a problem of payment systems, but of people's behaviour.