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You both have valid points. One one hand, "implicit memory" [0] begins at birth and being around one's father building impressive things is a huge bonding expe

by n4r9 22d ago

You both have valid points. One one hand, "implicit memory" [0] begins at birth and being around one's father building impressive things is a huge bonding experience. Research seems to say that even at 1yo these things imprint on our brains. On the other hand, it shouldn't get to a point where a 1yo is crawling into freshly laid concrete. There are safer ways to do it. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory

oblio 21d ago
There are more than enough years past the first one for the "father to build impressive things", though.
- n4r9 21d ago
  The 1yo stage is surprisingly convenient for that sort of stuff. At ages 2-4 they're much more mobile and experimental and harder to watch. Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do. Also, the first 18 months establish a good deal of a person's attachment security, connection to parents, and emotional intelligence. The brain continues to be flexible for some time, but gradually becomes harder to rewire.
  - oblio 21d ago
    Everyone's experience is different but: > Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do I had to disagree with this. Thought this might be a European experience, in the US there probably isn't a lot of time to interact with the kids during the typical work week. I would say that interest in what we do has stayed steady if not increased after about 3 years old because now they understand more things. At this rate I expect the "losing interest part" to start during the tween (8-12) or teenage years.
- phil21 21d ago
  Hard and very vehement disagree from me. So long as it is safe, a kid even at 1 years old should be tagging along with the adults doing things. Like building, working out in the yard, helping friends with projects, whatever. It is very settled science that brain connections happen rapidly in these years. Bubble wrapping your children is not the way to go in my opinion. Everyone is going to have a different take on this, but for me the choice is immediately obvious. Kids should fit into your life (within reason), not have you change to revolve around theirs. That said - I highly doubt a 1 year old did much more than watch and have short visits while being cared for by someone not doing the construction work. It’s a great bonding experience even with limited direct involvement.
  - oblio 21d ago
    A half-mobile 1 year old can be quite hard to control. There is more than enough time for them to bond during a construction project in the following as-many-years-as-they-want-to-tag-along-until-adolescence-hits-hard".

by n4r9 22d ago

oblio 21d ago

There are more than enough years past the first one for the "father to build impressive things", though.

n4r9 21d ago
The 1yo stage is surprisingly convenient for that sort of stuff. At ages 2-4 they're much more mobile and experimental and harder to watch. Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do. Also, the first 18 months establish a good deal of a person's attachment security, connection to parents, and emotional intelligence. The brain continues to be flexible for some time, but gradually becomes harder to rewire.
- oblio 21d ago
  Everyone's experience is different but: > Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do I had to disagree with this. Thought this might be a European experience, in the US there probably isn't a lot of time to interact with the kids during the typical work week. I would say that interest in what we do has stayed steady if not increased after about 3 years old because now they understand more things. At this rate I expect the "losing interest part" to start during the tween (8-12) or teenage years.
phil21 21d ago
Hard and very vehement disagree from me. So long as it is safe, a kid even at 1 years old should be tagging along with the adults doing things. Like building, working out in the yard, helping friends with projects, whatever. It is very settled science that brain connections happen rapidly in these years. Bubble wrapping your children is not the way to go in my opinion. Everyone is going to have a different take on this, but for me the choice is immediately obvious. Kids should fit into your life (within reason), not have you change to revolve around theirs. That said - I highly doubt a 1 year old did much more than watch and have short visits while being cared for by someone not doing the construction work. It’s a great bonding experience even with limited direct involvement.
- oblio 21d ago
  A half-mobile 1 year old can be quite hard to control. There is more than enough time for them to bond during a construction project in the following as-many-years-as-they-want-to-tag-along-until-adolescence-hits-hard".