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Given the amount of replies you are getting, I think you are not alone. In fact, I was the same kind of kid as well and really, what I regret more is not learni

Given the amount of replies you are getting, I think you are not alone. In fact, I was the same kind of kid as well and really, what I regret more is not learning to study, which made me a college drop-out. But that's it. I'm pretty happy and satisfied with how life turned out to be for me, but I totally understand your position. In my case I have a daughter that's showing already the same signs I had when I was her age and what I'm trying to do is to stay gently on top of her and create the habit of studying, because given the same brainpower, she will go farther if she learns to study well. And coming back to you, I don't know you or your age but I think you can - maybe - still turn around the "miserable" part. What's miserable for you, now?

annzabelle 26d ago
The miserable bit is more past tense. Back in college I desperately wanted to have the academic success that my friends were having but I had never built that groundwork of organizational habits and consistency. I remember not doing any of the homework for my measure theory course, and getting an uncurved 50% on the midterm. I went into the professor's office hours to ask if I needed to drop the course, and he told me I had actually gotten a B and I was above the class average. There was this deep sense that I could've been a star student if I could just get my shit together. Nowadays I'm generally happy and living a great life in a New Zealand mountain town. But, whenever I talk to anybody back home who's more academically successful, I really have this jealousy and I tell myself that I could've done that if I'd just tried. It's this combo of ego and self hate that's really toxic.