My exgf was adamant that aspartame (in Diet Coke) was a mind control drug. Turns out that Donald Rumsfeld (of Bush administration fame) was CEO of the company t

My exgf was adamant that aspartame (in Diet Coke) was a mind control drug. Turns out that Donald Rumsfeld (of Bush administration fame) was CEO of the company that made it, and he was the one who got the FDA to approve it for human consumption. So, there is a conspiracy theory not far from your joke.