7 ms·

I wish I could upvote this comment harder. I started having unsupervised internet access (with the family computer in the living room) when I was 8. I'm a funct

I wish I could upvote this comment harder. I started having unsupervised internet access (with the family computer in the living room) when I was 8. I'm a functional and successful adult because I trusted my parents. When my mother forbade me from registering on online forums I complied. When I read "fellation" in some minecraft chat (albeit somewhat later) I asked my mom what it was and understood that "sex" was something for the grown-ups and that I shouldn't worry about it. All because I would never even conceive that my parents wouldn't do what's best for me, and was unconditionally loved (even though I didn't know about this concept). I would rather have parenting licenses than online age verification

abustamam 5mo ago
Yeah I'm not sure why the govt or any other 3rd party needs to get involved. If I don't want my kids to look at porno online I will educate them on porn. If I don't trust my kids to listen to me then I will install an open source monitoring software and educate them on trust. Letting the govt dictate what is age restricted is an easy way for the govt to control speech and narrative. For example, children's books that feature LGBT characters are being reclassified as adult [1], thus requiring additional verification. If I do/don't want my kids to read LGBT books, it's my decision. The govt should not dictate that. What else will the govt reclassify? Anything involving people of color? [1] https://www.ala.org/bbooks/book-ban-data https://www.ala.org/bbooks/book-ban-data
- techblueberry 5mo ago
  “If I don't want my kids to look at porno online I will educate them on porn“ I can’t tell if this is a joke, is this a joke?
  - abustamam 5mo ago
    No? I guess I missed a word ("educate them on the dangers of porn" perhaps?) but I don't see how the omission makes a huge difference.
    - techblueberry 5mo ago
      I just love the idea that the solution to kids not doing what you want them to is telling them not to do a thing. It’s so optimistic.
      - abustamam 5mo ago
        Not sure if this is sarcastic but that's exactly how drug education works in the US. Sure it's optimistic but almost everything about raising kids is optimistic.
        techblueberry 5mo ago
        DARE made me more curious about doing drugs.
        abustamam 5mo ago
        I was curious about drugs after DARE because I learned about stuff I'd never heard about before. But it didn't make me want to _try_ drugs. And if DARE weren't enough, watching Euphoria was definitely enough to make me not ever want to touch drugs.
      - partyficial 5mo ago
        when i tell my 15 year old kid not to smoke, he obeys. sounds like a skill issue on your part.
        techblueberry 5mo ago
        > sounds like a skill issue on your part. I am in fact a terrible parent. I rarely try to get better, and when I do I make it worse.
      - aethertap 5mo ago
        Education isn't based on the premise that they'll never disobey. It's to help them recognize when things become dangerous or are getting to be a problem. Of course kids will do things they're told not to do - this is just helping them tap the brakes and understand how to recover. The attitude that the only solution is perfect enforcement is (in my opinion at least) partially to blame for the lack of self-awareness that makes the more vulnerable to later addiction problems in the first place.
piperswe 5mo ago
I'm a functional and successful adult despite doing plenty online behind my parents' back as a kid. I don't think that part of our upbringings had as much of an effect on us as you suspect.
- DontBreakAlex 5mo ago
  And I also suspect you did not grow up with kids whose parents clearly would like them to go away and stop bothering them. I also did lots of dumb stuff in my parents' back. The nuance here is that when you know that your parents love you, you'll tell them once you do something that's actually harmful/a big mistake, because you trust they'll help you instead of punishing you. I've seen people make "questionable" life choices, in my opinion, because they've learned, consciously or not, to not seek help from others and always hide/blame on others every problem them encounter.

abustamam 5mo ago

Yeah I'm not sure why the govt or any other 3rd party needs to get involved. If I don't want my kids to look at porno online I will educate them on porn. If I don't trust my kids to listen to me then I will install an open source monitoring software and educate them on trust. Letting the govt dictate what is age restricted is an easy way for the govt to control speech and narrative. For example, children's books that feature LGBT characters are being reclassified as adult [1], thus requiring additional verification. If I do/don't want my kids to read LGBT books, it's my decision. The govt should not dictate that. What else will the govt reclassify? Anything involving people of color? [1] https://www.ala.org/bbooks/book-ban-data https://www.ala.org/bbooks/book-ban-data

techblueberry 5mo ago
“If I don't want my kids to look at porno online I will educate them on porn“ I can’t tell if this is a joke, is this a joke?
- abustamam 5mo ago
  No? I guess I missed a word ("educate them on the dangers of porn" perhaps?) but I don't see how the omission makes a huge difference.
  - techblueberry 5mo ago
    I just love the idea that the solution to kids not doing what you want them to is telling them not to do a thing. It’s so optimistic.
    - abustamam 5mo ago
      Not sure if this is sarcastic but that's exactly how drug education works in the US. Sure it's optimistic but almost everything about raising kids is optimistic.
      - techblueberry 5mo ago
        DARE made me more curious about doing drugs.
        abustamam 5mo ago
        I was curious about drugs after DARE because I learned about stuff I'd never heard about before. But it didn't make me want to _try_ drugs. And if DARE weren't enough, watching Euphoria was definitely enough to make me not ever want to touch drugs.
    - partyficial 5mo ago
      when i tell my 15 year old kid not to smoke, he obeys. sounds like a skill issue on your part.
      - techblueberry 5mo ago
        > sounds like a skill issue on your part. I am in fact a terrible parent. I rarely try to get better, and when I do I make it worse.
    - aethertap 5mo ago
      Education isn't based on the premise that they'll never disobey. It's to help them recognize when things become dangerous or are getting to be a problem. Of course kids will do things they're told not to do - this is just helping them tap the brakes and understand how to recover. The attitude that the only solution is perfect enforcement is (in my opinion at least) partially to blame for the lack of self-awareness that makes the more vulnerable to later addiction problems in the first place.

piperswe 5mo ago

I'm a functional and successful adult despite doing plenty online behind my parents' back as a kid. I don't think that part of our upbringings had as much of an effect on us as you suspect.

DontBreakAlex 5mo ago
And I also suspect you did not grow up with kids whose parents clearly would like them to go away and stop bothering them. I also did lots of dumb stuff in my parents' back. The nuance here is that when you know that your parents love you, you'll tell them once you do something that's actually harmful/a big mistake, because you trust they'll help you instead of punishing you. I've seen people make "questionable" life choices, in my opinion, because they've learned, consciously or not, to not seek help from others and always hide/blame on others every problem them encounter.