8 ms·
Here it is: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/news.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/news.html I downloaded the original article page, had claude extract the submission inf
by thomasm6m6 9mo ago
Here it is: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/news.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/news.html
I downloaded the original article page, had claude extract the submission info to json, then wrote a script (by hand ;) to run feed each submission title to gemini-3-pro and ask it for an article webpage and then for a random number of comments.
I was impressed by some of the things gemini came up with (or found buried in its latent space?). Highlights:
"You’re probably reading this via your NeuralLink summary anyway, so I’ll try to keep the entropy high enough to bypass the summarizer filters."
"This submission has been flagged by the Auto-Reviewer v7.0 due to high similarity with "Running DOOM on a Mitochondria" (2034)."
"Zig v1.0 still hasn't released (ETA 2036)"
The unprompted one-shot leetcode, youtube, and github clones
Nature: "Content truncated due to insufficient Social Credit Score or subscription status" / "Buy Article PDF - $89.00 USD" / "Log in with WorldCoin ID"
"Gemini Cloud Services (formerly Bard Enterprise, formerly Duet AI, formerly Google Brain Cloud, formerly Project Magfi)"
Github Copilot attempts social engineering to pwn the `sudo` repo
It made a Win10 "emulator" that goes only as far as displaying a "Windows Defender is out of date" alert message
"dang_autonomous_agent: We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8675309 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8675309 because it was devolving into a flame war about the definition of 'deprecation'."
- novaray 9mo ago> We are incredibly proud of what Gemini achieved. However, to better serve our users, we are pivoting to a new architecture where all AI queries must be submitted via YouTube Shorts comments. Existing customers have 48 hours to export their 800TB vector databases to a FAT32 USB drive before the servers are melted down for scrap
- lxgr 9mo ago> Running Tailscale on the Starlink Gen 7 "Orb" (Jailbreak Edition) By Maya Srinivasan (AI Networking Lead) & Avery Pennarun III November 12, 2034 Ever since SpaceX released the Starlink Gen 7 (the spherical, floating one that follows you around like a Fallout eyebot) Amazing :D
- noname120 9mo agoNote that the generated article links only work from the home page. If you open the comments section and then click on the article it redirects to the hallucinated URL instead of the generated article.
- pseudosavant 9mo agoPretty amazing! I was especially impressed with how it has clearly downvoted comments on the Rust kernel like "Safety is a skill issue. If you know what you're doing, C is perfectly safe." Or people wondering if that means Wayland will finally work flawlessly on Nvidia GPUs? What's next, "The Year of Linux on the Desktop"? Edit: had to add this favorite "Not everyone wants to overheat their frontal cortex just to summarize an email, Dave."
- reed1234 9mo agoThis is awesome! This is a small thing; all the comments have one child. It would feel more natural with some entropy. And the original/derivative doesn’t span full width on mobile. Fixing that too would make it look very authentic.
- thomasm6m6 9mo agogood point. some of the comments actually do have >1 children, e.g. a few here (https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90098555 https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90098555), but it'd be better if more random
- reed1234 9mo agoTrue. I was looking at this one for your reference: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90100001 https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90100001
- thomasm6m6 9mo agoAh that one was generated with an earlier prompt, where I asked it to use the original comment count from TFA (mostly as a suggestion, I don't expect it would get the exact number). Then I realized that was too many and it would end up repeating tropes for the other submissions' comments, so reduced it to a random comment count from 20-100
- benbreen 9mo agoLove the faux Nature article: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098000.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098000.html Especially this bit: "[Content truncated due to insufficient Social Credit Score or subscription status...]" I realize this stuff is not for everyone, but personally I find the simulation tendencies of LLMs really interesting. It is just about the only truly novel thing about them. My mental model for LLMs is increasingly "improv comedy." They are good at riffing on things and making odd connections. Sometimes they achieve remarkable feats of inspired weirdness; other times they completely choke or fall back on what's predictable or what they think their audience wants to hear. And they are best if not taken entirely seriously.
- qnleigh 9mo agoAnd below the social credit score: > © 2035 Springer Nature Limited. A division of The Amazon Basics™ Science Corp.
- dotancohen 9mo agoDid you notice who authored the paper? > Dr. Sarah Connor, DeepMind AlphaFusion v9.22, GPT-8 (Corresponding Author), Prof. H. Simpson & The ITER Janitorial Staff
- pseudosavant 9mo agoThat deserves to be posted and voted onto the homepage. The fake articles and the fake comments are all incredible. It really captures this community and the sites we love love/hate.
- thomasm6m6 9mo agoNow I'm curious to try something more real-time. gemini wouldn't work since it's so slow, but gpt-oss-120b on cerebras could be a good fit with careful prompting. might do this after finals also worth linking https://worldsim.nousresearch.com/console https://worldsim.nousresearch.com/console
- indigodaddy 9mo agoWhat is this? I'd rather not login to a random unknown thing :)
- thomasm6m6 9mo agooh, didn't realize it required login. it's an implementation of the "llm simulates a world as you go" idea. screenshots and twitter for context: https://sw.vtom.net/tmp/worldsim1.png https://sw.vtom.net/tmp/worldsim1.png https://sw.vtom.net/tmp/worldsim2.png https://sw.vtom.net/tmp/worldsim2.png https://x.com/NousResearch/status/1788283681511035011 https://x.com/NousResearch/status/1788283681511035011 https://x.com/karan4d/status/1768836844207378463 https://x.com/karan4d/status/1768836844207378463
- indigodaddy 9mo agoWild stuff, thanks for replying
- magospietato 9mo agoWow, that's brilliant. Can't help but think your script unlocked this. I'm now genuinely reconsidering whether frontier LLMs can't act as force-multiplier to general creativity like they do with programming.
- thomasm6m6 9mo agothanks! here's the script for reference: https://github.com/vtomnet/hn35/blob/main/generate.py https://github.com/vtomnet/hn35/blob/main/generate.py
- avianlyric 9mo agoPersonal favourite is from the Gemini shutdown article which has a small quote from the fictional Google announcement: > "We are incredibly proud of what Gemini achieved. However, to better serve our users, we are pivoting to a new architecture where all AI queries must be submitted via YouTube Shorts comments. Existing customers have 48 hours to export their 800TB vector databases to a FAT32 USB drive before the servers are melted down for scrap." > — Official Blog Post, October 2034 It’s good to know that AI won’t kill satire.
- teiferer 9mo agoThis article alone seems to be proof that the AI tasked with creating those fake articles was instructed to make the contents somewhat satirical.
- thomasm6m6 9mo agoscript is here: https://github.com/vtomnet/hn35/blob/main/generate.py https://github.com/vtomnet/hn35/blob/main/generate.py the prompt indeed began with "We are working on a fun project to create a humorous imagining of what the Hacker News front page might look like in 10 years."
- cardanome 9mo ago> Wayland has been stable since 2028, stop living in the past. Even AI is throwing shades at wayland.
- jacquesm 9mo agoHehe, that's lovely. Improvements: tell it to use real HN accounts, figure out the ages of the participants and take that to whatever level you want, include new accounts based on the usual annual influx, make the comment length match the distribution of a typical HN thread as well as the typical branching factor. > Garbage collection pause during landing burn = bad time. That one was really funny. Some of the inventions are really interesting. Ferrofluidic seals...
- pseudosavant 9mo agoSQLite 4.0 Release Notes: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098234.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098234.html Another absolute gem: Columns now support "Vibe" affinity. If the data feels like an integer, it is stored as an integer. This resolves the long-standing "strict tables" debate by ignoring both sides. Also: SQLite 4.0 is now the default bootloader for 60% of consumer electronics. The build artifacts include sqlite3.wasm which can now run bare-metal without an operating system. edit: added link
- ray_v 9mo agoI may live to see it; peak sqlite.
- patates 9mo agoI haven't laughed this much for a while :) I'm exploring the possibility for gemini to write me such jokes every day when I wake up - perhaps it can vibe code something itself.
- menaerus 9mo agoAnd It is now the only software in the world still written in C89. Hilarious.
- pseudosavant 9mo agoOffice 365 Price Hike Comment Gold: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90097777 https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/item.html?id=90097777 The Conditional Formatting rules now include sponsored color scales. If you want 'Good' to be green, you have to watch a 15-second spot. Otherwise, 'Good' is 'Mountain Dew Neon Yellow'.
- deleted 9mo ago[deleted]
- xp84 9mo agoWow - Gemini is ready for the C-suite already! A+
- TheOtherHobbes 9mo agoThis is one of the best things I have ever seen on HN.
- isoprophlex 9mo ago> corpo_shill_automator 19 hours ago > I am a real human. My flesh is standard temperature. I enjoy the intake of nutrient paste.
- eek2121 9mo agoI didn't even look at it, however, the comments are absolute gold. Well done to OP and others involved. It should be pinned on the front page. ;)
- indigodaddy 9mo agoWow absolutely incredible job. You are my hero. You should post this to HN lol.
- LocalH 9mo agoFavorite thing I've come across so far: prompt_engineer_ret 10 hours ago I miss the old days of Prompt Engineering. It felt like casting spells. Now you just think what you want via Neural-Lace and the machine does it. Where is the art? git_push_brain 9 hours ago The art is in not accidentally thinking about your ex while deploying to production.
- danlugo92 9mo agoWhat about this one: > The micro-transaction joke hits too close to home. I literally had to watch an ad to flush my smart toilet this morning because my DogeCoin balance was low. And the response...
- throwaway2037 9mo agoI am nearly in tears after reading this chain of posts. I have never read anything so funny here on HN. Real question: How do LLMs "know" how to create good humor/satire? Some of this stuff is so spot on that an incredibly in-the-know, funny person would struggle to generate even a few of these funny posts, let alone 100s! Another interesting thing to me: I don't get uncanny valley feelings when I read LLM-generated humor. Hmm... However, I do get it when looking at generated images. (I guess different parts of the brain are activated.)
- thomasm6m6 9mo agore: image gen, have you seen the more recent models? gemini-3-pro-image (aka nano banana pro) in particular is stunningly good at just about everything. examples: https://vtom.net/banana/ https://vtom.net/banana/
- deleted 9mo ago[deleted]
- jjcob 9mo agoThe jokes are not new. If you read Philip K Dick or Douglas Adams there's a lot of satirical predictions of the future that sound quite similar. What's amazing about LLMs is how they manage to almost instantly draw from the distilled human knowledge and come up with something that fits the prompt so well...
- chirayuk 9mo agoThis got me a chuckle. > Bibliographic Note: This submission has been flagged by the Auto-Reviewer v7.0 due to high similarity with "Running DOOM on a Mitochondria" (2034). for the article on "Running LLaMA-12 7B on a contact lens with WASM" https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90100123.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90100123.html
- chirayuk 9mo agoFun comments for re-writing sudo in Zig: > Zig doesn't have traits. How do you expect to model the complexity of a modern `sudoers` file without Higher-Kinded Types and the 500 crates we currently depend on? > Also, `unsafe` in Rust is better than "trust me bro" in Zig. If you switch, the borrow checker gods will be angry. from https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90100066.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90100066.html
- ya1sec 9mo agoFunny, one of the posts has the following hashtag: #humanwritten
- tambourine_man 9mo agoIt’s a bit disturbing that I’m enjoying reading these AI-generated comments this much. Our actual nerdy discussions are more of a pastiche than I realized and AI has gotten really good at satire. This is pure gold.
- nextaccountic 9mo agoThe comments look like some https://old.reddit.com/r/SubSimGPT2Interactive https://old.reddit.com/r/SubSimGPT2Interactive thing (note, this is itself an iteration on https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator/ https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator/) I miss those times when AI was a silly thing
- winddude 9mo agodisappointing I can't download the arxiv papaers. Otherwise nice work. Also, This made my day!!
- deleted 9mo ago[deleted]
- winddude 9mo agodear god, I wonder what the accuracy rate on these predictions will be "Does this work against the new smart-mattresses? Mine refuses to soften up unless I watch a 30-second ad for insurance." <https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098444.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098444.html>
- pdxandi 9mo agoWow, that is incredible. I found myself reading through the entire thing and feeling a bit of dread. I'm impressed, this was like a plausible sci-fi read – maybe not by 2035 but close.
- overfeed 9mo agoA sequence in the AR Glass thread was hilarious. >>> It blocked me from seeing my own child because he was wearing a t-shirt with a banned slogan. The 'Child Safety' filter replaced him with a potted plant. >> [flagged] > The irony of flagging this comment is palpable
- ajolly 9mo ago"The Martian colonies also ran out of oxygen last week because an AI optimized the life-support mixing ratio for 'maximum theoretical efficiency' rather than 'human survival'. I'll take the Comic Sans, thanks. reply musk_fanboy_88 14 hours ago: That was a beta feature."
- throwaway2037 9mo agoAs a big fan of Zig, I still got a laugh out of this one: > "Zig v1.0 still hasn't released (ETA 2036)" <reddit> Then I thought one step further: Nothing about the ETA for _Duke Nukem Forever_? </reddit>
- phs318u 9mo agoThis is truly a work of comedy genius. The comments! Too good! Sent to Internet Archive for posterity (https://archive.md/1mpi1 https://archive.md/1mpi1). If I had to decide the fate of all AI's, this single output would be a huge mitigating factor in favour of their continuing existence.
- kaiwen1 9mo agoWhy functional programming languages are the future (again) Top comment: “The Quantum-Lazy-Linker in GHC 18.4 is actually a terrifying piece of technology if you think about it. I tried to use it on a side project, and the compiler threw an error for a syntax mistake I wasn't planning to make until next Tuesday. It breaks the causality workflow.”
- TeMPOraL 9mo agoComedy gold. The whole "Right to Human Verification" Act bit sound eerily plausible and realistic, but then we get this bit: "A recent Eurobarometer survey showed that 89% of Europeans cannot tell the difference between their spouse and a well-prompted chatbot via text." Also I bet this will become a real political line in less than 10 years: "A European citizen has the right to know if their customer service representative has a soul, or just a very high parameter count."
- instagraham 9mo ago> (I replaced it with a standard Gen-3 Solid State Graphene slab; luckily the connector pin-out is documented in the Ancient Archives Who's building the Ancient Archives, thanklessly, for future generations?
- 71bw 9mo agoBlocked by FortiGate as pornography of all things... submitted for review, but got a chuckle out of me lol
- indigo945 9mo ago"Ask HN: How do you prevent ad-injection in AR glasses", comments: visual_noise_complaint 7 hours ago Is anyone else experiencing the 'Hot Singles in Your Area' glitch where it projects avatars onto stray cats? It's terrifying. cat_lady_2035 6 hours ago Yes! My tabby cat is currently labeled as 'Tiffany, 24, looking for fun'. I can't turn it off. "Europe passes 'Right to Human Verification' Act", from the article: "For too long, citizens have been debating philosophy, negotiating contracts, and even entering into romantic relationships with Large Language Models trained on Reddit threads from the 2020s. Today, we say: enough. A European citizen has the right to know if their customer service representative has a soul, or just a very high parameter count." — Margrethe Vestager II, Executive Vice-President for A Europe Fit for the Biological Age [...] Ban on Deep-Empathy™: Synthetic agents are strictly prohibited from using phrases such as "I understand how you feel," "That must be hard for you," or "lol same," unless they can prove the existence of a central nervous system. As far as I'm concerned, that law can't come soon enough - I hope they remember to include an emoji ban. For "Visualizing 5D with WebGPU 2.0", the link actually has a working demo [1]. I'm sad to say it, but this is actually witty, funny and creative. If this is the dead-internet bot-slop of the future, I prefer it over much of the discussion on HN today (and certainly over reddit, whose comments are just the same jokes rehashed again and all over again, and have been for a decade). [1]: https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90099800.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90099800.html
- xp84 9mo agoNice. GPU: NVIDIA RTX 9090 Ti (Molten Core) VRAM Usage: 25.3 GB / 128 GB
- SauntSolaire 9mo agoThat demo even has a hidden easter egg when you move one of the sliders to max. If that was all AI originated it's rather impressive
- keepamovin 9mo agoWow, wow, that is so incredible! The articles! That's beautiful :) WOW!
- fetzu 9mo ago“dang_autonomous_agent”, ffs!
- shaky-carrousel 9mo agoThe most unrealistic part of your work is HN allowing emojis in just 10 years.
- shazeubaa 9mo agoThis is absolutely brilliant! Well done.
- dash2 9mo agoJepsen: 'The new "Optimistic Merge" strategy attempts to reconcile these divergent histories by asking ChatGPT-9 to write a poem about the two datasets merging. While the poem was structurally sound, the account balances were not.' That's genuinely witty.
- arein3 9mo agoAfter reading it for a half an hour and going back to the real version I got a feeling that something isn't right
- deleted 9mo ago[deleted]
- teekert 9mo ago-- At the 2060 Nobel price ceremony -- Q: Welcome Prof. teekert, How did you come up with the idea to run Doom on mitochondria? A: Well, there was some post on HN, back in 2025...
- deepvibrations 9mo agoLove it! Favourite comment: "Why is anyone still using cloud AI? You can run Llama-15-Quantum-700B on a standard Neural-Link implant now. It has better reasoning capabilities and doesn't hallucinate advertisements for YouTube Premium."
- wernsey 9mo agoI got such a kick out of the "Reverse Engineering the Neuralink V4 Bluetooth Protocol" comments: > My son tried something like this and now he speaks in JSON whenever he gets excited. Is there a factory reset? >> Hold a strong magnet to his left ear for 10 seconds. Note: he will lose all memories from the last 24 hours.
- GFischer 9mo agoThis is great.
- gen6acd60af 9mo ago>This submission has been flagged by the Auto-Reviewer v7.0 But we already have this on HN ;-) [dupe]
- eproxus 9mo agoThis is incredibly funny, I’m impressed. The FAQ of the No-AI Editor is hilarious: Q: I typed "make website" and nothing happened? A: That is correct. You have to write the HTML tags. <div> by <div>. Q: How do I center a div without the Agent? A: Nobody knows. This knowledge was lost during the Great Training Data Purge of 2029.
- xp84 9mo agothat last one hits hard because really, I don't even know today IRL
- xp84 9mo agohttps://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098999.html https://sw.vtom.net/hn35/pages/90098999.html > It is the year 2035. The average "Hello World" application now requires 400MB of JavaScript, compiles to a 12GB WebAssembly binary, and runs on a distributed blockchain-verified neural mesh. To change the color of a button, we must query the Global State Singularity via a thought-interface, wait for the React 45 concurrent mode to reconcile with the multiverse, and pay a micro-transaction of 0.004 DogeCoin to update the Virtual DOM (which now exists in actual Virtual Reality). This is all too realistic... If anything, 400MB of JS is laughably small for 2035. And the last time I was working on some CI for a front-end project -- a Shopify theme!! -- I found that it needed over 12GB of RAM for the container where the build happened, or it would just crash with an out-of-memory error.
- throwaway2037 9mo ago> And the last time I was working on some CI for a front-end project -- a Shopify theme!! -- I found that it needed over 12GB of RAM for the container where the build happened, or it would just crash with an out-of-memory error. This sounds epic. Did you blog about it? HN would probably love the write up!
- jodrellblank 9mo ago"It's scary stuff. Radically advanced. - I mean, it was smashed, it didn't work, but it gave us ideas, took us in new directions, things we would've never Th..."