5 ms·

I don't see mention of parenting. Imagine you’re in a hurry. Your child is tired and hungry, and you are too. You’ve just loaded the groceries into the trunk a

by there4 10mo ago

I don't see mention of parenting. Imagine you’re in a hurry. Your child is tired and hungry, and you are too. You’ve just loaded the groceries into the trunk and finally gotten your child strapped into the car seat. You think for just a moment that you're done. But then you realize: you still need to return the shopping cart. You should have loaded the groceries, locked the car, gone back to the cart return and then carried your child back to the car to load them into their car seat. Now you’re faced with a dilemma with three bad options — do you take your child back out of the car, leave them unattended for a moment, or abandon the cart and go home?

cogman10 10mo ago
I'm a parent with a child with profound autism. You leave your kid in the car for the 30 seconds it takes to return the cart. It's never been an issue and the kiddo is perfectly content waiting for a short period while I walk the cart back. My god, people act like there's kidnappers at every grocery store just waiting for this one moment to abduct a child.
cush 10mo ago
> I don't see mention of parenting. When I read this I thought you meant bad parents not teaching their kids to return their carts > dilemma... do you... What exactly is the risk of leaving the kid while you quickly return the cart?
- there4 10mo ago
  All I'm asking is that we give caregivers a little empathy and some grace. To your question - There's not much risk. Lock the car, return the cart. But what I'm offering is that if I saw a parent leaving a cart, I wouldn't judge and assume that it's because of a glaring moral failing.
  - johnnyanmac 10mo ago
    >I wouldn't judge and assume that it's because of a glaring moral failing. It's not a moral failing by itself, but it then suggests "how many other activities are cut out because they can't take their eyes off their kids for 30 seconds?" That behavior seeps into the rest of the going ons in life. That's not bad, but I wouldn't be surprised if that becomes the type of parent who cuts all social contact with non-parent friends after having a kid.
scoofy 10mo ago
It takes 30 seconds.
idiotsecant 10mo ago
Congratulations on being the subject of the thread.
id00 10mo ago
I usually just leave them in the cart and we go and return it together. Or now as they became older - they push it themselves to the corrals (with me next to them of course). Feels like a lazy justification
- there4 10mo ago
  > Feels like a lazy justification I try to give people kindness and grace, even for small things. Maybe we can sometimes reframe a "lost cart" as something other than an act of laziness or aggression against society. Maybe it’s a sign someone was just having a hard moment. When I take a stray cart back, sure, it could’ve been left by someone careless. But it also could’ve been left by someone overwhelmed. Maybe a parent, an exhausted worker, someone barely holding it together because of some struggle we'll never know. Returning that cart might be a tiny act of kindness toward someone who needed it that day.
cpburns2009 10mo ago
It's not hard. Lock the car and return the cart. Your kid(s) will be fine unattended in the car for 20 seconds crying or not. If this really distresses you, park in the back by a cart corral.
- bombcar 10mo ago
  I’ve accidentally parked inside a larger cart corral - I thought it was a space between two. Menards corrals are literally carports they sell in the store (and hence covered which is nice).
  - cpburns2009 10mo ago
    Menards does have huge cart corrals. The corrals have never been empty enough for me to confuse it for a parking spot, but without carts it would fit a car just fine. It's odd that they don't have dividers. Then again Costco doesn't either.
    - bombcar 10mo ago
      They're literally their carports - they even have a sign on them telling you how to order one for yourself. I think they don't have dividers because they also take the large lumber carts, too. Home Depot also has no dividers, probably for the same reason.
      - cpburns2009 10mo ago
        I had to check the Menards website. I knew Menards sold everything but it never dawned on me that they literally sell those carports. I didn't know that's what those structures were called either. That's a good point about the large lumber carts.
        bombcar 10mo ago
        Apparently they sell 613 variations (mostly different lengths and heights and widths, probably four parts total). https://www.menards.com/main/outdoors/sheds-accessories/carports-portable-garages/versatube-reg-metal-carport-shelters/12225070shelterbrown/p-1444445761945-c-5860.htm https://www.menards.com/main/outdoors/sheds-accessories/carp... Of course, Menards sells entire houses (in kit form): https://www.menards.com/main/building-materials/the-project-store/home-projects/c-1474668109497.htm https://www.menards.com/main/building-materials/the-project-... And milk. https://www.menards.com/main/grocery-home/grocery/dairy-eggs/2-reduced-fat-milk-1-gallon-128-oz/5731500/p-1482391246911-c-1479303583387.htm https://www.menards.com/main/grocery-home/grocery/dairy-eggs...
johnnyanmac 10mo ago
If you can't leave your kid unattneded for 30 seconds, I'd worry about bringing them in for an hour long shopping trip to begin with.
tauchunfall 10mo ago
I looks more this is about managing fears and worries. This is also close to helicopter parenting, i.e. parents who are "overattentive and overly fearful for their child, particularly outside the home". I don't know, in 90s Germany my parents just let me wait in the car for a minute and there was only the radio I could listen to. In elementary school I just walked to school even in darkness. And in high school I walked 15 minutes to the bus. That was the time when some middle class parents started bringing their children to the bus with the car, but for most of the other children is was normal to just walk. But yeah times change. My grand-parents walked 10 km by foot to school on the street on 6 days per week after war.
HDThoreaun 10mo ago
imagine thinking returning your cart after putting your kid in the car is a bad option.

by there4 10mo ago

cogman10 10mo ago

I'm a parent with a child with profound autism. You leave your kid in the car for the 30 seconds it takes to return the cart. It's never been an issue and the kiddo is perfectly content waiting for a short period while I walk the cart back. My god, people act like there's kidnappers at every grocery store just waiting for this one moment to abduct a child.

cush 10mo ago

> I don't see mention of parenting. When I read this I thought you meant bad parents not teaching their kids to return their carts > dilemma... do you... What exactly is the risk of leaving the kid while you quickly return the cart?

there4 10mo ago
All I'm asking is that we give caregivers a little empathy and some grace. To your question - There's not much risk. Lock the car, return the cart. But what I'm offering is that if I saw a parent leaving a cart, I wouldn't judge and assume that it's because of a glaring moral failing.
- johnnyanmac 10mo ago
  >I wouldn't judge and assume that it's because of a glaring moral failing. It's not a moral failing by itself, but it then suggests "how many other activities are cut out because they can't take their eyes off their kids for 30 seconds?" That behavior seeps into the rest of the going ons in life. That's not bad, but I wouldn't be surprised if that becomes the type of parent who cuts all social contact with non-parent friends after having a kid.

scoofy 10mo ago

It takes 30 seconds.

idiotsecant 10mo ago

Congratulations on being the subject of the thread.

id00 10mo ago

I usually just leave them in the cart and we go and return it together. Or now as they became older - they push it themselves to the corrals (with me next to them of course). Feels like a lazy justification

there4 10mo ago
> Feels like a lazy justification I try to give people kindness and grace, even for small things. Maybe we can sometimes reframe a "lost cart" as something other than an act of laziness or aggression against society. Maybe it’s a sign someone was just having a hard moment. When I take a stray cart back, sure, it could’ve been left by someone careless. But it also could’ve been left by someone overwhelmed. Maybe a parent, an exhausted worker, someone barely holding it together because of some struggle we'll never know. Returning that cart might be a tiny act of kindness toward someone who needed it that day.

cpburns2009 10mo ago

It's not hard. Lock the car and return the cart. Your kid(s) will be fine unattended in the car for 20 seconds crying or not. If this really distresses you, park in the back by a cart corral.

bombcar 10mo ago
I’ve accidentally parked inside a larger cart corral - I thought it was a space between two. Menards corrals are literally carports they sell in the store (and hence covered which is nice).
- cpburns2009 10mo ago
  Menards does have huge cart corrals. The corrals have never been empty enough for me to confuse it for a parking spot, but without carts it would fit a car just fine. It's odd that they don't have dividers. Then again Costco doesn't either.
  - bombcar 10mo ago
    They're literally their carports - they even have a sign on them telling you how to order one for yourself. I think they don't have dividers because they also take the large lumber carts, too. Home Depot also has no dividers, probably for the same reason.
    - cpburns2009 10mo ago
      I had to check the Menards website. I knew Menards sold everything but it never dawned on me that they literally sell those carports. I didn't know that's what those structures were called either. That's a good point about the large lumber carts.
      - bombcar 10mo ago
        Apparently they sell 613 variations (mostly different lengths and heights and widths, probably four parts total). https://www.menards.com/main/outdoors/sheds-accessories/carports-portable-garages/versatube-reg-metal-carport-shelters/12225070shelterbrown/p-1444445761945-c-5860.htm https://www.menards.com/main/outdoors/sheds-accessories/carp... Of course, Menards sells entire houses (in kit form): https://www.menards.com/main/building-materials/the-project-store/home-projects/c-1474668109497.htm https://www.menards.com/main/building-materials/the-project-... And milk. https://www.menards.com/main/grocery-home/grocery/dairy-eggs/2-reduced-fat-milk-1-gallon-128-oz/5731500/p-1482391246911-c-1479303583387.htm https://www.menards.com/main/grocery-home/grocery/dairy-eggs...

johnnyanmac 10mo ago

If you can't leave your kid unattneded for 30 seconds, I'd worry about bringing them in for an hour long shopping trip to begin with.

tauchunfall 10mo ago

I looks more this is about managing fears and worries. This is also close to helicopter parenting, i.e. parents who are "overattentive and overly fearful for their child, particularly outside the home". I don't know, in 90s Germany my parents just let me wait in the car for a minute and there was only the radio I could listen to. In elementary school I just walked to school even in darkness. And in high school I walked 15 minutes to the bus. That was the time when some middle class parents started bringing their children to the bus with the car, but for most of the other children is was normal to just walk. But yeah times change. My grand-parents walked 10 km by foot to school on the street on 6 days per week after war.

HDThoreaun 10mo ago

imagine thinking returning your cart after putting your kid in the car is a bad option.