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I don’t think so. You can accept yourself and be content/happy and still want to learn new skills, try new hobbies, and grow.

by andruby 11mo ago

roncesvalles 11mo ago
I feel like all the truly transformative growth, those periods when you sprint from a nobody to the cutting edge, or start from a blank sheet and build a work of genius the likes that humanity has never seen, the manic energy that drives this, it always comes from hate. A hate for the self (wanting to prove something to yourself) or a hate for others (wanting to prove something to others), (which may really be the same thing; you're trying to invalidate your self-criticism and the perceived criticism of others by proving that you're better at something than most anyone else in the world). Mentally healthy people become mailmen.
- _def 11mo ago
  What you describe as "hate" can work much more efficient when coming from a somewhat loving competitiveness, I think.
  - stodor89 11mo ago
    Exactly. When people talk of "hatred" in such context, the nature of the feeling they describe has very little in common with the kind of feelings I've had at some points. If you think you're worth growing, and improving, and rebuilding, isn't "hate" way too strong of a word?
    - roncesvalles 11mo ago
      There's a bit of both. There' s a part of you that believes in yourself and wants to prove it, that's why you're even trying. But there's another part (or something external) that doubts your abilities. The "hatred" is from that part that believes you're capable to the part that believes you're incapable. I think the better word here is contempt. Bit of a corollary but I've just never been motivated by love. E.g. I don't feel driven to perform well because I love my teammates or love my company or love the world and want to do good by them. It's always a hatred-contempt of wanting to prove someone wrong or to prove that everyone else has been doing it wrong (whether on a team level or a world level). That's actually why I stopped being too chummy with my direct teammates. If you like someone too much, you lose the desire to brutally outshine them. Some part of you pulls you toward the group average so as not to become ostracized. I don't think that a genuine love for humanity will give you the energy to do good for humanity. It must come from hatred-contempt, there is no other way. "Let me show you fucking animals...". It will never come from "I love you all so much let me build this for you."
- windowsworkstoo 11mo ago
  1000% correct. the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
  - andruby 11mo ago
    You lost the battle of ambition, maybe, but I'd say you've won the battle of happiness.
- abootstrapper 11mo ago
  I love this insight, but mailman might not be the best example if you recall the origins of the phrase, “going postal.”

I don’t think so. You can accept yourself and be content/happy and still want to learn new skills, try new hobbies, and grow.

by andruby 11mo ago

I don’t think so. You can accept yourself and be content/happy and still want to learn new skills, try new hobbies, and grow.

roncesvalles 11mo ago

I feel like all the truly transformative growth, those periods when you sprint from a nobody to the cutting edge, or start from a blank sheet and build a work of genius the likes that humanity has never seen, the manic energy that drives this, it always comes from hate. A hate for the self (wanting to prove something to yourself) or a hate for others (wanting to prove something to others), (which may really be the same thing; you're trying to invalidate your self-criticism and the perceived criticism of others by proving that you're better at something than most anyone else in the world). Mentally healthy people become mailmen.

_def 11mo ago
What you describe as "hate" can work much more efficient when coming from a somewhat loving competitiveness, I think.
- stodor89 11mo ago
  Exactly. When people talk of "hatred" in such context, the nature of the feeling they describe has very little in common with the kind of feelings I've had at some points. If you think you're worth growing, and improving, and rebuilding, isn't "hate" way too strong of a word?
  - roncesvalles 11mo ago
    There's a bit of both. There' s a part of you that believes in yourself and wants to prove it, that's why you're even trying. But there's another part (or something external) that doubts your abilities. The "hatred" is from that part that believes you're capable to the part that believes you're incapable. I think the better word here is contempt. Bit of a corollary but I've just never been motivated by love. E.g. I don't feel driven to perform well because I love my teammates or love my company or love the world and want to do good by them. It's always a hatred-contempt of wanting to prove someone wrong or to prove that everyone else has been doing it wrong (whether on a team level or a world level). That's actually why I stopped being too chummy with my direct teammates. If you like someone too much, you lose the desire to brutally outshine them. Some part of you pulls you toward the group average so as not to become ostracized. I don't think that a genuine love for humanity will give you the energy to do good for humanity. It must come from hatred-contempt, there is no other way. "Let me show you fucking animals...". It will never come from "I love you all so much let me build this for you."
windowsworkstoo 11mo ago
1000% correct. the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
- andruby 11mo ago
  You lost the battle of ambition, maybe, but I'd say you've won the battle of happiness.
abootstrapper 11mo ago
I love this insight, but mailman might not be the best example if you recall the origins of the phrase, “going postal.”