6 ms·

Just find someone you usually enjoy being around and can ultimately start a family with, and who would be loyal. Too many people are over-thinking this stuff.

atmavatar 1y ago
> Just find someone ... who would be loyal That's much harder than you realize. Something close to half of all marriages fail. Significant numbers of men and women cheat. Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't. Significant numbers of men and women are abusive, both physically and emotionally. People suck. And, the rugged individualism (bordering on objectivism) cultivated so strongly within the US doesn't help things. You may as well be telling someone not to be poor.
- weeznerps 1y ago
  >Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't. Not true in modern contexts. Misattribution of paternity is much closer to 1-2%: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34288189/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34288189/, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237633127_How_Well_Does_Paternity_Confidence_Match_Actual_Paternity_Evidence_from_Worldwide_Nonpaternity_Rates https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237633127_How_Well_... The 30% figure comes from men who already doubt paternity...obviously some strong selection effects there. In addition, there are very strong cohort effects for divorce. For example, if you have a bachelors the divorce rate is more like 25%.
Molitor5901 1y ago
Another perspective if I may: People are used to the dating apps now which require just a few milliseconds of consideration before swiping yes, or no. That focus on essentially "hot or not" eliminates entire swaths of the dating pool to just those someone finds attractive. The worrisome part is that they take that mentality of "only swiping on ~10" that they've transferred it to the real world. Why bother talking to that man, or that women, when the app gives you thousands and thousands of infinite choice. Why settle when there's so many better ones to choose from?
commiepatrol 1y ago
That's one boring ass way to look at life

atmavatar 1y ago

> Just find someone ... who would be loyal That's much harder than you realize. Something close to half of all marriages fail. Significant numbers of men and women cheat. Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't. Significant numbers of men and women are abusive, both physically and emotionally. People suck. And, the rugged individualism (bordering on objectivism) cultivated so strongly within the US doesn't help things. You may as well be telling someone not to be poor.

weeznerps 1y ago
>Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't. Not true in modern contexts. Misattribution of paternity is much closer to 1-2%: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34288189/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34288189/, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237633127_How_Well_Does_Paternity_Confidence_Match_Actual_Paternity_Evidence_from_Worldwide_Nonpaternity_Rates https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237633127_How_Well_... The 30% figure comes from men who already doubt paternity...obviously some strong selection effects there. In addition, there are very strong cohort effects for divorce. For example, if you have a bachelors the divorce rate is more like 25%.

Molitor5901 1y ago

Another perspective if I may: People are used to the dating apps now which require just a few milliseconds of consideration before swiping yes, or no. That focus on essentially "hot or not" eliminates entire swaths of the dating pool to just those someone finds attractive. The worrisome part is that they take that mentality of "only swiping on ~10" that they've transferred it to the real world. Why bother talking to that man, or that women, when the app gives you thousands and thousands of infinite choice. Why settle when there's so many better ones to choose from?

commiepatrol 1y ago

That's one boring ass way to look at life