7 ms·

Heading Out on Your Own: 31 Life Skills in 31 Days

193 points by ginozola 14y ago

datr 14y ago
I liked the section titled "Good manners are not stiff, formal, or awkward." It reminded me of a story I was told of a dinner party at which one of the guests suffered from cerebral palsy. The host seeing that the guest was having trouble with her knife and fork immediately put down her own cutlery and started eating with her hands. Once the guest noticed this she felt she had leave to do the same. The story's a good example of "people over process".
- splat 14y ago
  I remember a similar sort of story, though it's probably apocryphal. The Japanese ambassador was dining with Queen Victoria at a very formal dinner. Towards the end of the dinner, the guests were given a small bowl of warm water with which to wash their fingers. The Japanese ambassador, being unaware of what to do with it, drank the contents---a major faux pas. The Queen, seeing this, drank hers as well, and all the guests then did likewise.
  - Robin_Message 14y ago
    In line with these stories, my parents always taught me that good manners are about making your guests (or host) feel comfortable. The rules are not the important bit of manners.
    - kahawe 14y ago
      > In line with these stories, my parents always taught me that good manners are about making your guests (or host) feel comfortable. The rules are not the important bit of manners. This is so funny you should say this because in Germany good old "Knigge" is becoming more popular again but in a way of making yourself feel better about your good manners AND as a foundation to look down on and sneer at others for their clearly inferior manners. So quite the opposite of what you described.
ohashi 14y ago
The most relevant one I saw and read was the Networking one. I think a lot of people I meet (or see at networking events) need to read that.
SonicSoul 14y ago
this is great. i esp wish someone encouraged me to make an effort and "Day 22 - Learn how to small talk". growing up i hated small talk and this translated very well into hobbies involving staying home and hacking things, and later doing that at work. it wasn't until much later that i realized how important it is to make real human connections and be able to interact with strangers. This seems to be harder to get right the older one gets.
mukaiji 14y ago
oh... how i wish i would have read "Living With Roommates Tips" beforehand.
mmanfrin 14y ago
AoM is one of the few blogs that I feel genuinely compelled to read. Very good writing, and about skills/knowledge that we all need in our life (regardless of profession).
peter_l_downs 14y ago
This is awesome — I just recently moved out of my parents' home for the first time and have been doing my best to adjust to life "on my own". Thanks for posting this.
vishaldpatel 14y ago
The article on stress management should be listed first. http://artofmanliness.com/2012/08/30/heading-out-on-your-own-day-30-how-to-manage-stress/ http://artofmanliness.com/2012/08/30/heading-out-on-your-own...
tgrass 14y ago
It's a sad state of men when day 15 is How to Change a Tire, when it ought to be how to fix one: http://www.alpharubicon.com/bovstuff/tirepluguzi.htm http://www.alpharubicon.com/bovstuff/tirepluguzi.htm
- dnissley 14y ago
  In my experience, when you're first headed out on your own with (probably) a used vehicle with tires that are of unknown age, you're more likely to burst one than simply have a small puncture/leak. Maybe that's just because my state (IN) sucks at road repairs though.
- CamperBob2 14y ago
  Tires should be patched, not plugged (and only when the hole is nowhere near the sidewall). I've never had a tire plug hold, or a patch fail. Patching them can still be done at home but I've always let the guy at the garage do it, because he sees a couple of cases a day instead of one every 3-4 years like I do.
  - tgrass 14y ago
    Each of the tires on my old Chevy at one point had over a dozen plugs. Each plug lasted several years. The beauty of a plug is the kit is five bucks, comes with about a dozen plugs and you can use it anywhere. Get a thirty five dollar compressor to run off your battery and you can fix a puncture by yourself in the middle of nowhere. Not so with a patch. But then I also won't drive more than twenty miles from my house without a toolbox...so....
    - CamperBob2 14y ago
      So you're driving around on a public road (presumably) on tires that have been damaged and repaired 12 or more times. Oooooookay. Thanks for the heads-up.
      - tgrass 14y ago
natep 14y ago
For anyone that wants to read these posts in an RSS reader one day at a time, I suggest Feed Playback [1]. Just enter the feed URL [2] and a start date of 2012-08-01. Unfortunately, the feed is mixed in with every other update that gets put on the site, so it will take longer than a month to complete. [1] http://www.streamspigot.com/feed-playback/ http://www.streamspigot.com/feed-playback/ [2] http://feeds2.feedburner.com/TheArtOfManliness http://feeds2.feedburner.com/TheArtOfManliness
taroth 14y ago
In #13 Networking: >"If you’re in San Francisco looking for a tech job, you’ll want to be using the latest connection apps" I've never seen this in the LA community. Is this the norm up north?
- akldfgj 14y ago
  That's just SV navel gazing.
JackDanger 14y ago
Since this doesn't relate to 'manliness' at all but merely maturity as a person, it seems appropriate to post this translation: http://artofwomanliness.heroku.com/2012/09/01/heading-out-on-your-own-31-life-skills-in-31-days-series-wrap-up/ http://artofwomanliness.heroku.com/2012/09/01/heading-out-on...
alanbyrne 14y ago
None of these articles seem to be about women or sex... interesting. I got this book for my 18th birthday, and it was invaluable in shaping me into the person I am today. I don't quite understand why it costs £65 on Amazon though: http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-John-Birmingham/dp/1875989285 http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-John-Birmingham/dp/187598...
jiggy2011 14y ago
The advice about budgeting is good common sense. On the other hand I feel that sometimes people address personal finance as a simple arithmetic exercise (income - expense), whereas I think it is sometimes better treated in a more algebraic fashion. In other words identify the variables in your balance sheet (Hint: everything is a variable) and try to anticipate what happens as things change. Your finances are affected by changes outside of your control, for example the government or local authority can decide to stick your taxes up, changes in the commodities market can affect the price of staples such as a food and fuel or your electric company might read your meter and then slap you with a bill of double your usual amount. This is something that I find annoying about the UK, whilst all of the high street banks offer some form of online banking none of them to my knowledge will allow me to pull out the raw data and play with it. I'm sure that using some fairly rudimentary statistical analysis I could gain much more insight into the implications of my financial situation. For example, let's say I get a pay rise. I might be inclined to celebrate by going out and buying a brand new iPad or whatever. But maybe if I sum the amount that I spend at the supermarket each month I notice an upward trend that will wipe out the pay increase within 6 months. Does this mean that I am acquiring "good taste" in a few too many areas or does it simply mean that "cost of living" is increasing faster than inflation and I need to account for that.

193 points by ginozola 14y ago

datr 14y ago

I liked the section titled "Good manners are not stiff, formal, or awkward." It reminded me of a story I was told of a dinner party at which one of the guests suffered from cerebral palsy. The host seeing that the guest was having trouble with her knife and fork immediately put down her own cutlery and started eating with her hands. Once the guest noticed this she felt she had leave to do the same. The story's a good example of "people over process".

splat 14y ago
I remember a similar sort of story, though it's probably apocryphal. The Japanese ambassador was dining with Queen Victoria at a very formal dinner. Towards the end of the dinner, the guests were given a small bowl of warm water with which to wash their fingers. The Japanese ambassador, being unaware of what to do with it, drank the contents---a major faux pas. The Queen, seeing this, drank hers as well, and all the guests then did likewise.
- Robin_Message 14y ago
  In line with these stories, my parents always taught me that good manners are about making your guests (or host) feel comfortable. The rules are not the important bit of manners.
  - kahawe 14y ago
    > In line with these stories, my parents always taught me that good manners are about making your guests (or host) feel comfortable. The rules are not the important bit of manners. This is so funny you should say this because in Germany good old "Knigge" is becoming more popular again but in a way of making yourself feel better about your good manners AND as a foundation to look down on and sneer at others for their clearly inferior manners. So quite the opposite of what you described.

ohashi 14y ago

The most relevant one I saw and read was the Networking one. I think a lot of people I meet (or see at networking events) need to read that.

SonicSoul 14y ago

this is great. i esp wish someone encouraged me to make an effort and "Day 22 - Learn how to small talk". growing up i hated small talk and this translated very well into hobbies involving staying home and hacking things, and later doing that at work. it wasn't until much later that i realized how important it is to make real human connections and be able to interact with strangers. This seems to be harder to get right the older one gets.

mukaiji 14y ago

oh... how i wish i would have read "Living With Roommates Tips" beforehand.

mmanfrin 14y ago

AoM is one of the few blogs that I feel genuinely compelled to read. Very good writing, and about skills/knowledge that we all need in our life (regardless of profession).

peter_l_downs 14y ago

This is awesome — I just recently moved out of my parents' home for the first time and have been doing my best to adjust to life "on my own". Thanks for posting this.

vishaldpatel 14y ago

The article on stress management should be listed first. http://artofmanliness.com/2012/08/30/heading-out-on-your-own-day-30-how-to-manage-stress/ http://artofmanliness.com/2012/08/30/heading-out-on-your-own...

tgrass 14y ago

It's a sad state of men when day 15 is How to Change a Tire, when it ought to be how to fix one: http://www.alpharubicon.com/bovstuff/tirepluguzi.htm http://www.alpharubicon.com/bovstuff/tirepluguzi.htm

dnissley 14y ago
In my experience, when you're first headed out on your own with (probably) a used vehicle with tires that are of unknown age, you're more likely to burst one than simply have a small puncture/leak. Maybe that's just because my state (IN) sucks at road repairs though.
CamperBob2 14y ago
Tires should be patched, not plugged (and only when the hole is nowhere near the sidewall). I've never had a tire plug hold, or a patch fail. Patching them can still be done at home but I've always let the guy at the garage do it, because he sees a couple of cases a day instead of one every 3-4 years like I do.
- tgrass 14y ago
  Each of the tires on my old Chevy at one point had over a dozen plugs. Each plug lasted several years. The beauty of a plug is the kit is five bucks, comes with about a dozen plugs and you can use it anywhere. Get a thirty five dollar compressor to run off your battery and you can fix a puncture by yourself in the middle of nowhere. Not so with a patch. But then I also won't drive more than twenty miles from my house without a toolbox...so....
  - CamperBob2 14y ago
    So you're driving around on a public road (presumably) on tires that have been damaged and repaired 12 or more times. Oooooookay. Thanks for the heads-up.
    - tgrass 14y ago

natep 14y ago

For anyone that wants to read these posts in an RSS reader one day at a time, I suggest Feed Playback [1]. Just enter the feed URL [2] and a start date of 2012-08-01. Unfortunately, the feed is mixed in with every other update that gets put on the site, so it will take longer than a month to complete. [1] http://www.streamspigot.com/feed-playback/ http://www.streamspigot.com/feed-playback/ [2] http://feeds2.feedburner.com/TheArtOfManliness http://feeds2.feedburner.com/TheArtOfManliness

taroth 14y ago

In #13 Networking: >"If you’re in San Francisco looking for a tech job, you’ll want to be using the latest connection apps" I've never seen this in the LA community. Is this the norm up north?

akldfgj 14y ago
That's just SV navel gazing.

JackDanger 14y ago

Since this doesn't relate to 'manliness' at all but merely maturity as a person, it seems appropriate to post this translation: http://artofwomanliness.heroku.com/2012/09/01/heading-out-on-your-own-31-life-skills-in-31-days-series-wrap-up/ http://artofwomanliness.heroku.com/2012/09/01/heading-out-on...

alanbyrne 14y ago

None of these articles seem to be about women or sex... interesting. I got this book for my 18th birthday, and it was invaluable in shaping me into the person I am today. I don't quite understand why it costs £65 on Amazon though: http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-John-Birmingham/dp/1875989285 http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Man-John-Birmingham/dp/187598...

jiggy2011 14y ago

The advice about budgeting is good common sense. On the other hand I feel that sometimes people address personal finance as a simple arithmetic exercise (income - expense), whereas I think it is sometimes better treated in a more algebraic fashion. In other words identify the variables in your balance sheet (Hint: everything is a variable) and try to anticipate what happens as things change. Your finances are affected by changes outside of your control, for example the government or local authority can decide to stick your taxes up, changes in the commodities market can affect the price of staples such as a food and fuel or your electric company might read your meter and then slap you with a bill of double your usual amount. This is something that I find annoying about the UK, whilst all of the high street banks offer some form of online banking none of them to my knowledge will allow me to pull out the raw data and play with it. I'm sure that using some fairly rudimentary statistical analysis I could gain much more insight into the implications of my financial situation. For example, let's say I get a pay rise. I might be inclined to celebrate by going out and buying a brand new iPad or whatever. But maybe if I sum the amount that I spend at the supermarket each month I notice an upward trend that will wipe out the pay increase within 6 months. Does this mean that I am acquiring "good taste" in a few too many areas or does it simply mean that "cost of living" is increasing faster than inflation and I need to account for that.