8 ms·
> I was willing to stake my whole life on it and use everything in my power to change it You made dating easy by fully revolving your life around it for some p
by ndarray 2y ago
> I was willing to stake my whole life on it and use everything in my power to change it
You made dating easy by fully revolving your life around it for some period? That sounds very interesting - mind sharing the bullet points with everyone?
- mettamage 2y agoSure, very opinionated but here we go: dating, it’s about matching personality. Do the hexaco.org test, figure out how to identify the extreme dimensions on your profile that you identify with (openness in my case). Learn to find those women. Now be prepared to talk to 10000 women by cold approaching or through online dating. It usually takes more like 200 for a GF but you will be doing socially uncomfortable things, so having a hardcore mindset helps. Cold approaching respectfully is a small course on its own, especially since I deviate from standard advice because I test what works for me. TL;DR: approach respectfully (safe and it’s nice) yet playfully or curiously (fun and not boring). Online dating: enhance your pictures with AI as if it is the best picture of you ever taken. Test this with a few throwaway dates by telling them that your pictures were edited. Bonus points if they aren’t deterred by it (it means they can take candor). If they are, well it was a throwaway date anyway. Have throwaway dates in general. These are dates with women you genuinely like but you test certain things. All the things you test should have a screening effect (aka if they like it, it means they match you better), that’s how you make testing things ethical. Also, use an autoswiper and don’t get caught doing it. What helps: meditation, social courage (better than confidence as my confidence is quite low but my courage is crazy high), studying charisma (as it pertains to your personality). That’s a very short tl;dr. I am probably missing things. Feel free to email to chat about it. I desperately need career advice for in the EU.
- leonhard 2y agoThank you, very interesting. Can you talk more about cold approaching respectfully? How did you overcome that feeling of being a creep in the beginning when you’re not calibrated yet on what works for you?
- mettamage 2y agoMy email is in my profile
- mettamage 2y agoCreepiness is a judgment from others and their problem. You can do your best to improve on lessening it (aka always approach from the front because it’s best to be in view, at least 5m distance and a loud enough “excuse me” to draw their attention and to let them know you are about to say something. If they show any sign of having no time, disengage and quickly wish them a good day). All you need to do is: your best and be as respectful as possible. If you do that and you know you have strived to the utmost to be the best version of yourself then others have no moral ground to stand on IMO. Freedom of speech is what ultimately makes us all approachable, yes, you too