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> Calling those meals "failures" now would be saying that it was a mistake to enjoy that time with my family and friends, and it absolutely wasn't. If gaining

by vimsee 3y ago

> Calling those meals "failures" now would be saying that it was a mistake to enjoy that time with my family and friends, and it absolutely wasn't. If gaining weight is the failure in this context, the mistake would likely be the excessive intake of food. Time spent with friends and family would not be the mistake. This might have come off a bit harsh.

thelastparadise 3y ago
Temperance, as you suggest, is a beautiful thing. It's hard (for me, especially), but sometimes we just have to put down the fork and politely decline that second, third, or fourth pancake.
- frde 3y ago
  I wasn't particularly overweight before but I attribute about ~10lbs of weight loss this year to realizing that: - When at a dinner with family or friends, I never _have_ to finish something. Most of the time the host will be happy to package my leftovers to take back home when asked. That last part makes it clear that I like and appreciate the food even through I didn't finish it in the moment. - If I buy food at a restaurant, I don't have an obligation to finish it to get my moneys worth. And again, I can just save it for another meal if I want. - I don't have to eat snacks just because the host put them on a table at a party. For some reason our brains think that just because food is _there_ we need to eat it, but that's generally not true.
  - imjonse 3y ago
    And in general it's easier to have the snacks simply not be there, than to try to resist eating them. The habit of having random food and snacks lying around the house for 'just in case' is not a good one if you care about your health or weight. Unless of course you are actually required to eat frequently due to medical conditions.
  - SamoyedFurFluff 3y ago
    I don’t actually think temperance and logic like this moves the needle significantly for obese people. When you’re obese you need to lose 50, 70, 100+ lbs, not 10. You’re looking at fundamentally changing relationship with food at multiple levels to the point where it’s unrecognizable. I don’t think small changes in habit like this are in the same ballpark as what obese people need to become a normal weight, in the same way that I don’t think taking the stairs instead of the elevator is in the same ballpark as someone who wants to become a professional athlete.
    - frde 3y ago
      I don't think anyone is suggesting that the same tricks will work for everyone. I've never been chronically obese so I wouldn't know what goes on in someone's mind at that point. However I do know that it moved the needle significantly in _my_ life by changing my relationship with food so it's valuable to me. Losing the extra ~10 to 20 lbs of weight people gain in adulthood is something that people do struggle with even if it's not as dramatic as someone fighting obesity.
    - Aeolun 3y ago
      Taking the stairs is a lot more attainable though.
      - unmole 3y ago
        But is unlikely to make a difference.
        xupybd 3y ago
        All the small things add up. You'd be surprised how effective they can be when combined
        taeric 3y ago
        Indeed, walking punches way over expectations for keeping weight off. You have to do a good hour of a walk, but an hour walking is probably better than a rushed workout of similar time.
  - Aeolun 3y ago
    > If I buy food at a restaurant, I don't have an obligation to finish it to get my moneys worth. I could think about it as: “I spent $30 on this meal, I ate 75% of it, would I spend $7.5 to not feel like shit the rest of the evening?” In almost all cases I think yes, and it’s fine to stop eating. It’s much harder when the food is great though.
    - vladvasiliu 3y ago
      > It’s much harder when the food is great though. Indeed. I doubt anyone ever got fat by eating food they didn't like. The issue becomes all the worse when food is designed to make you want to keep on eating. Bonus points for it giving you that sort of hunger-like feeling 2 hours after your meal.
    - foobarbecue 3y ago
      Sunk cost fallacy. You aren't getting that $7.50 back. The question should actually be "do I want to, for no reason at all, feel like shit for the rest of the evening?" (This assumes you aren't deriving any pleasure or utility from eating that last 25%. If you are, then that's one side of the cost/benefit analysis. But the initial cost of the food is irrelevant not matter what.)
      - Aeolun 3y ago
        I can ‘spend’ the money on the remaining 25% of food, or on not feeling shit (e.g. I didn’t ‘get’ anything for that money).
        foobarbecue 3y ago
        Yeah. I suppose sunk cost fallacy here would be "I should eat it all to avoid wasting money." I guess you're sort of actually psychologizing OUT of that. It's still a bit fallacious, since the correct cost of the decision to not eat is actually $0, not $7.50, but I guess lying to yourself about that could be a useful mental trick.
  - sbergot 3y ago
    Other eating realizations: - counting calories for 2 weeks can help you understand how much food you really need. - sometimes you eat out of boredom
  - krumpet 3y ago
    I realize everyone has different dietary needs, so I'm not saying this is for everyone, but it's very, very rare for me to finish a meal at a restaurant in one sitting. I used to, but leaving and feeling stuffed got old. I've found if I stop early, it turns out it was only my brain that wanted more food. Physically, I've had enough and am satisfied. I just need to give my brain time to catch up to my body. Additionally, I drink a lot of water with my meals. This helps prevent overeating. Lastly, it's always great to get two meals (dinner and tomorrow's lunch) from one restaurant dinner.
- Aeolun 3y ago
  Or just eat all those pancakes, as long as we don’t make a habit of deciding to do so every day.

by vimsee 3y ago

thelastparadise 3y ago

Temperance, as you suggest, is a beautiful thing. It's hard (for me, especially), but sometimes we just have to put down the fork and politely decline that second, third, or fourth pancake.

frde 3y ago
I wasn't particularly overweight before but I attribute about ~10lbs of weight loss this year to realizing that: - When at a dinner with family or friends, I never _have_ to finish something. Most of the time the host will be happy to package my leftovers to take back home when asked. That last part makes it clear that I like and appreciate the food even through I didn't finish it in the moment. - If I buy food at a restaurant, I don't have an obligation to finish it to get my moneys worth. And again, I can just save it for another meal if I want. - I don't have to eat snacks just because the host put them on a table at a party. For some reason our brains think that just because food is _there_ we need to eat it, but that's generally not true.
- imjonse 3y ago
  And in general it's easier to have the snacks simply not be there, than to try to resist eating them. The habit of having random food and snacks lying around the house for 'just in case' is not a good one if you care about your health or weight. Unless of course you are actually required to eat frequently due to medical conditions.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y ago
  I don’t actually think temperance and logic like this moves the needle significantly for obese people. When you’re obese you need to lose 50, 70, 100+ lbs, not 10. You’re looking at fundamentally changing relationship with food at multiple levels to the point where it’s unrecognizable. I don’t think small changes in habit like this are in the same ballpark as what obese people need to become a normal weight, in the same way that I don’t think taking the stairs instead of the elevator is in the same ballpark as someone who wants to become a professional athlete.
  - frde 3y ago
    I don't think anyone is suggesting that the same tricks will work for everyone. I've never been chronically obese so I wouldn't know what goes on in someone's mind at that point. However I do know that it moved the needle significantly in _my_ life by changing my relationship with food so it's valuable to me. Losing the extra ~10 to 20 lbs of weight people gain in adulthood is something that people do struggle with even if it's not as dramatic as someone fighting obesity.
  - Aeolun 3y ago
    Taking the stairs is a lot more attainable though.
    - unmole 3y ago
      But is unlikely to make a difference.
      - xupybd 3y ago
        All the small things add up. You'd be surprised how effective they can be when combined
        taeric 3y ago
        Indeed, walking punches way over expectations for keeping weight off. You have to do a good hour of a walk, but an hour walking is probably better than a rushed workout of similar time.
- Aeolun 3y ago
  > If I buy food at a restaurant, I don't have an obligation to finish it to get my moneys worth. I could think about it as: “I spent $30 on this meal, I ate 75% of it, would I spend $7.5 to not feel like shit the rest of the evening?” In almost all cases I think yes, and it’s fine to stop eating. It’s much harder when the food is great though.
  - vladvasiliu 3y ago
    > It’s much harder when the food is great though. Indeed. I doubt anyone ever got fat by eating food they didn't like. The issue becomes all the worse when food is designed to make you want to keep on eating. Bonus points for it giving you that sort of hunger-like feeling 2 hours after your meal.
  - foobarbecue 3y ago
    Sunk cost fallacy. You aren't getting that $7.50 back. The question should actually be "do I want to, for no reason at all, feel like shit for the rest of the evening?" (This assumes you aren't deriving any pleasure or utility from eating that last 25%. If you are, then that's one side of the cost/benefit analysis. But the initial cost of the food is irrelevant not matter what.)
    - Aeolun 3y ago
      I can ‘spend’ the money on the remaining 25% of food, or on not feeling shit (e.g. I didn’t ‘get’ anything for that money).
      - foobarbecue 3y ago
        Yeah. I suppose sunk cost fallacy here would be "I should eat it all to avoid wasting money." I guess you're sort of actually psychologizing OUT of that. It's still a bit fallacious, since the correct cost of the decision to not eat is actually $0, not $7.50, but I guess lying to yourself about that could be a useful mental trick.
- sbergot 3y ago
  Other eating realizations: - counting calories for 2 weeks can help you understand how much food you really need. - sometimes you eat out of boredom
- krumpet 3y ago
  I realize everyone has different dietary needs, so I'm not saying this is for everyone, but it's very, very rare for me to finish a meal at a restaurant in one sitting. I used to, but leaving and feeling stuffed got old. I've found if I stop early, it turns out it was only my brain that wanted more food. Physically, I've had enough and am satisfied. I just need to give my brain time to catch up to my body. Additionally, I drink a lot of water with my meals. This helps prevent overeating. Lastly, it's always great to get two meals (dinner and tomorrow's lunch) from one restaurant dinner.
Aeolun 3y ago
Or just eat all those pancakes, as long as we don’t make a habit of deciding to do so every day.