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My wife and I have done similar. We privately share photos. It took a bit for my mom to get over the fact that she can’t post pictures of her grandkids on Faceb

My wife and I have done similar. We privately share photos. It took a bit for my mom to get over the fact that she can’t post pictures of her grandkids on Facebook but I was eventually able to explain why in terms she understood.

kroolik 4y ago
What arguments have you used to finally convince them?
- zomgwat 4y ago
  Several things helped her accept the situation. 1. We regularly share photos through private photo albums. This allows her the same exposure to photos of the grandchildren as social media would. 2. We made it clear she's free to share photos with people via direct text messages. It adds a bit of friction and keeps the photos relatively private. 3. Explained that it's the right of our children to control their presence online (with some parental assistance). They aren't old enough to do that so until then, please don't share. 4. Emphasize many times that it's about protecting and empowering our kids. It's not about preventing her from showing off her grandchildren.
  - jjulius 4y ago
    I commented elsewhere and mentioned that #1 is the path we took. That said, while we encountered next to no resistance on this policy from our family, we've found that in practice, my mother really thrives on #2, to the point where I'm confident that our broader family/friends group gets pictures directly from her and hardly bothers visiting my private gallery.
  - MarkMarine 4y ago
    We do this as well, specifically #1 we do through apple's private shared albums. It's quite good, we've got a big chunk of the family on there, so people comment as I assume they would on Facebook. This has assuaged their (proud grandparents) urge to post photos on their other social media, I think. I'm not on Facebook so I'm not positive what they are doing on there, but the banal comments that show up in the family feed remind me of why I'm not.
warner25 4y ago
Yeah, this has been a source of hurt feelings for my parents, my wife's parents, and the parents of many of our peers... Facebook-addicted Boomers literally crying, "But everyone else gets to put up pictures of their grandchildren!"
- prpl 4y ago
  Grandparents have shared photos of their relatives, just usually through wallet photos in the past, email maybe later - so it probably feels like a small delta on that. Probably doesn’t help more of their lives are spent online than in person now. I’d been printing off photos in various sizes (wallet to 8x10) and sending them along to my parents/grandparents - but it does take more effort to follow through. I do post photos of kids to a private account but maybe once or twice a year.
  - avisser 4y ago
    We got the grandparents Aura smart frames. It's trivial to add photos and short videos. They get to see a new pic of the kid almost every day. As soon as anyone visits their house, they immediately see recent pics of the kid. It's been a big winner.
  - warner25 4y ago
    We upload and organize our family photos in a private Flickr album, and the grandparents have access to that. The presentation is beautiful and I update it at least once a month, so they should be able to enjoy it. If they pull up the album on their phone to show off some photos to a friend in-person, like they would've done in the past with a wallet photo, we're fine with that. Unfortunately, what they really want is the shower of Likes and comments from their 1,000+ Facebook "friends" (and God knows who else with their privacy settings).
    - prpl 4y ago
      I was also using iCloud shared photo album which was great until my mother switched to an android phone (in addition, lost true Facetime support which was also a bummer) Ironically she switched to an android phone because she had too many photos I think and was always running out of storage. Of course the new phone had no photos, and her old phone would have been just fine if she was happy to start over too.
sylens 4y ago
We are also doing this. I'm amazed at how much some people share of their kids online.
- dzhiurgis 4y ago
  Same here, but I don't expect some sort of magic happening. Big tech likely know every detail of my kids anyway. It's just your social circle and bad apples within that you wanna be sure of.

kroolik 4y ago

What arguments have you used to finally convince them?

zomgwat 4y ago
Several things helped her accept the situation. 1. We regularly share photos through private photo albums. This allows her the same exposure to photos of the grandchildren as social media would. 2. We made it clear she's free to share photos with people via direct text messages. It adds a bit of friction and keeps the photos relatively private. 3. Explained that it's the right of our children to control their presence online (with some parental assistance). They aren't old enough to do that so until then, please don't share. 4. Emphasize many times that it's about protecting and empowering our kids. It's not about preventing her from showing off her grandchildren.
- jjulius 4y ago
  I commented elsewhere and mentioned that #1 is the path we took. That said, while we encountered next to no resistance on this policy from our family, we've found that in practice, my mother really thrives on #2, to the point where I'm confident that our broader family/friends group gets pictures directly from her and hardly bothers visiting my private gallery.
- MarkMarine 4y ago
  We do this as well, specifically #1 we do through apple's private shared albums. It's quite good, we've got a big chunk of the family on there, so people comment as I assume they would on Facebook. This has assuaged their (proud grandparents) urge to post photos on their other social media, I think. I'm not on Facebook so I'm not positive what they are doing on there, but the banal comments that show up in the family feed remind me of why I'm not.

warner25 4y ago

Yeah, this has been a source of hurt feelings for my parents, my wife's parents, and the parents of many of our peers... Facebook-addicted Boomers literally crying, "But everyone else gets to put up pictures of their grandchildren!"

prpl 4y ago
Grandparents have shared photos of their relatives, just usually through wallet photos in the past, email maybe later - so it probably feels like a small delta on that. Probably doesn’t help more of their lives are spent online than in person now. I’d been printing off photos in various sizes (wallet to 8x10) and sending them along to my parents/grandparents - but it does take more effort to follow through. I do post photos of kids to a private account but maybe once or twice a year.
- avisser 4y ago
  We got the grandparents Aura smart frames. It's trivial to add photos and short videos. They get to see a new pic of the kid almost every day. As soon as anyone visits their house, they immediately see recent pics of the kid. It's been a big winner.
- warner25 4y ago
  We upload and organize our family photos in a private Flickr album, and the grandparents have access to that. The presentation is beautiful and I update it at least once a month, so they should be able to enjoy it. If they pull up the album on their phone to show off some photos to a friend in-person, like they would've done in the past with a wallet photo, we're fine with that. Unfortunately, what they really want is the shower of Likes and comments from their 1,000+ Facebook "friends" (and God knows who else with their privacy settings).
  - prpl 4y ago
    I was also using iCloud shared photo album which was great until my mother switched to an android phone (in addition, lost true Facetime support which was also a bummer) Ironically she switched to an android phone because she had too many photos I think and was always running out of storage. Of course the new phone had no photos, and her old phone would have been just fine if she was happy to start over too.

sylens 4y ago

We are also doing this. I'm amazed at how much some people share of their kids online.

dzhiurgis 4y ago
Same here, but I don't expect some sort of magic happening. Big tech likely know every detail of my kids anyway. It's just your social circle and bad apples within that you wanna be sure of.