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In my next life I think I will do this. I decided to get married and have kids, so this one is mostly spoken for---but next time round I am doing the sabbatica
by wise0wl 4y ago
In my next life I think I will do this. I decided to get married and have kids, so this one is mostly spoken for---but next time round I am doing the sabbatical thing.
- CGamesPlay 4y agoIt’s OK to spend your sabbatical with your family.
- hackernewds 4y agoThe antithesis of a sabbatical - having crying, yelling babies and a laundry list of chores and tasks
- nick123567 4y agoSounds like you really like your family
- feoren 4y agoSounds like you haven't had children. It's pretty universal. It's incredibly draining literally every minute that they're awake. You have no time nor mental power left at the end of the day. For years.
- konart 4y agoI think it's very indivildual. My daughter is 9 months old now and only first 1-2 months were pretty draining. But then you just get used to it. Note that I'm working from home (for 4 years now). So it's not like I was rushing to an office asap every day. This may be different if you have more that one kid or a different family situation of course.
- dorkwood 4y agoMight things change when she starts walking?
- csunbird 4y agoExactly my thought. A well-sleeping kid who stays where you put them is not that much work for now. But when they start being mobile and explore the world on their own, you will need to keep an eye on them forever.
- konart 4y agoWell, fortunatelly or not: things always change. Not to mention we are planning more kids. But still: everything is individual.
- reitanqild 4y agoMy first was daughter was very quiet and I thought I somehow had got something right on first try. The next four of my kids has not been even though they share both parents. I think I should be happy for this: If they'd all been as harmonic as my first one I could easily ended up giving well meant parenting advice telling others "just do as I did, be kind and careful and encouraging and it will sort itself out".
- subpixel 4y agoNo judgement here - I’m a parent who continues to make mistakes. But it doesn’t matter if you’re building software or raising a family - it doesn’t have to be draining. In fact your best work will never show up when it is.
- e1g 4y agoWe have two kids under 4, and among our friends, what amazes me is how different children are - and, therefore, the parenthood experience can be. One of my girls is the sweetest, calmest, most peaceful bundle of hugs. The other is a low-sleep, hyper-energetic, demanding chatterbox. She is unyielding and relentless from 5am, every day, and raising her is draining. I don’t mean “resentful” - we chose this experience and chose not to outsource them to childcare. But some kids are absolutely more work: if your every day is packed 5am-7pm with sales, negotiating, customer service, and all-team workshops, if you get little sleep and no weekends or half-days, year after year, you will be tired. I bootstrapped a software business to 7 figures ARR solo, and raising her is more draining. And more rewarding.
- civilized 4y agoI never cease to be amazed at how many people aren't aware that there are difficult children to raise. They seem to think that how you feel about life is determined entirely by how well you Jedi mind trick your attitude into always being positive. Life is hard for some people! Sorry you have to hear about it in public, but if it's that annoying for you to just hear it, imagine living it!
- reitanqild 4y agoI know I was like that second child you mention. Whenever I feel sorry for myself it helps to think about my dad who had to live with me as his first child (and I have more siblings that children : )
- subpixel 4y ago> some kids are absolutely more work no argument on that point!
- nick123567 4y agoI have two kids
- RobinL 4y agoI'm currently on long term parental leave, and my perspective differs. Sabbaticals are for changing your perspective and developing in different ways from full time work. I feel like I properly have time for my kids because they're the whole focus, so it doesn't feel like a list of chores at all, or something that is preventing from living life. Instead, it feels like the most fulfilling experience of my life so far.
- culopatin 4y agoDaily duties are still going to be there during a sabbatical. You still have to cook and wash your clothes, your teeth and upkeep your environment, but you have full flexibility of when and how and where.
- stochastastic 4y agoIt’s different when you have people depending on you! Not OP but I’d love to spend a sabbatical with my family… if I could afford it. I’d need a much bigger cushion.
- konart 4y agoTHe thing is - your family needs them moneys. Can't have those without a job. And if you family is "wife+N small kids" - you can't really leave a job for long. Even if you are an IT guy with a good salary.
- ahartmetz 4y agoSpendings don't expand to match earnings by magic or a law of nature. You let it happen. You don't have to.
- stuporglue 4y agoMaybe that's true up until you have a kid. Once you have a kid, spending expands as the kid does. Baby require nothing but clothes, cheap food and love. Teenagers require all sorts of things for school and activities. I mean, technically you don't have to provide them, I guess, but if you want a well developed kid who will have their own success, you have to do some investing.
- konart 4y agoMany people (in fact more than 50% even in the US according to cnbc [1]) live paycheck to paycheck. Not to mention that spending structure change over time. Back when I was 20 - I only needed that much money to buy myself some food and drinks, a pair of sneakers or boots once a few years + some here and there spending. Nothing big. Now I need to provide for my kid, wife who is on maternalily leave and I need to save some money for my mother (call it her additional pension) and my family because you can really have a family and no savings. God knows what will happen. And if you have a kid (even one) - you need to spend a ton of money on clothes alone. They grew really fast, they get dirty when they eat or shit (in case diaper was put in a wrong way at night for example) etc. Unless you are really rich - you won't be able to leave your job for long. I can imaginge 3-6 months leave if you are a Senior Developer or higher and you live in a country with stable economy\political situation. In any other case - I doubt anyone will take such risks unless they are literally about to go insane or something. [1]: https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/24/more-americans-live-paycheck-to-paycheck-as-inflation-outpaces-income.html https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/24/more-americans-live-paycheck...
- amoss 4y agoI'm currently taking a sabbatical for a year. My son is still young enough that he finishes school in the early afternoon and we get to spend most of the day together. It is bliss. The projects that I'm working on still get time in the morning, and in the evening.