6 ms·

Jack's Ass

66 points by VitoVan 4y ago

pell 4y ago
It sounds like Jack's medical condition was bad enough that his decision to go for the surgery was inevitable, software installation trouble or not.
jdoss 4y ago
Hemorrhoids are awful. I have a close circle of friends that have different careers and are in a range of physical shape and most of us have some degree of hemorrhoid issues going on. One of them had surgery for them and they said it was one of most painful surgeries they have gone through. At least we can gripe about our shared ass pains together.
- pedrosorio 4y ago
  Are people supposed to feel pain during surgery or do you mean in recovery?
_ache_ 4y ago
Maybe [Kiss My Ass] from Takeshi Ohmi could be a good read to Jack's ass.
vgivanovic 4y ago
Use a Japanese-style toilet bidet. Bolt-on, cold water ones are less than $50. (You get used to the cold water, surprisingly.) Warm water ones, less than $100. Top-of-the-line (entire) toilets, $4000. WFM, YMMV
- geraldwhen 4y ago
  Also great for kids who you can’t be sure wiped but you can be sure used a bidet, because you can hear the water spraying.
- PerryCox 4y ago
  I have hemorrhoids and bought a bidet about 2 years ago. I have not had a single flair up since I started using it. I cannot recommend them highly enough.
- yamtaddle 4y ago
  We got what's supposed to be a good one of the add-on kind, and I expected to really like it, but instead I hate it. It makes the toilet quite a bit harder to clean and I don't see any way that it's not just spraying old shit-flecks and piss drops at me, which will surely find their way to the nozzle with some regularity. I think I'd really like a proper, separate bidet, but it turns out I hate the bolt-on kind.
kerblang 4y ago
Long ago in the age before the semiotics of standing-desk superiority came into fashion, I worked with a gentleman who made his own stander from plywood and screws and so forth, and stood all day every day, and he was in fact a Lisp programmer in good standing. It was rumored that he had patootie problems but I chose not to pry.
spapas82 4y ago
I'm hijacking the thread but I'd be grateful to read about other people hemorrhoids experience. I'll start: I had hemorrhoids which had to be operated because they become thrombosed. So I did a surgery (with general anaesthesia) to remove them. The recovery pain was unbearable, a real torture. For like 3 months I was in pain all the time and had to take painkillers and put some special cream on the operated area (my ass). I couldn't sit and had to lie down all the time(I was lucky that I wasn't working at this time). Going to the toilet was really painful at first but that improved after some weeks. This was considered normal. The thing is that even now, almost 5 years after the operation, it still bothers me, depending on my stool (if it's hard it's a big problem). Does it ever heal? All in all unless really required I don't recommend operating your hemorrhoids. Change your diet, use a bidet, use creams and try to avoid surgery!!!
- jsqu99 4y ago
  i had an anal fissure for some time (6 weeks) and it was also unbearable. opiods didn't help at all. the drs told me something about them not working in that part of the body. hot baths several times a day. they wanted me to insert some cream up there using my pinky, which just make the pain worse by re-aggravating the area. I'm still not sure how it eventually healed, but I really started to understand why people in chronic pain would consider suicide.
  - unxdfa 4y ago
    Been there and can sympathise. After a couple of weeks you literally wonder if this is your entire life now and if you want to live like it. The worst bit though was how I got the fissure. I had a nearly completely obstructed anus. The human body will clear that if you like it or not, with or without medical intervention and it will do damage on the way out. Ugh. Eat more fibre and drink more water!
  - birdyrooster 4y ago
    Been there and that took like over a year to fully become normal again.
- arittr 4y ago
b215826 4y ago
> If you have any interest, here is the ass-curing software: Focolizzare. How does this compare to other "take a break" programs like xwrits and Workrave?
- VitoVan 4y ago
  Maybe this is just worse ;-)
sph 4y ago
Vito, you're an excellent writer and I found this post hilarious and wise in a programming Zen kind of way. "A student asked the Master: 'I can't sit. I can't concentrate. How do I cure my hemorroids?' The Master replied, 'Have you tried Lisp?' The student stood pensive, then was not in pain anymore."
- VitoVan 4y ago
  Wow! Thanks! I think we should have a cup of coffee together. :-)
11235813213455 4y ago
Sitting down is not a great position for a human or any other animal. Good ones are on your knees (like Japanese) or squatting (if you can hold this position for a while, you can put something under your heels to make it easier), or lying down
AlbertCory 4y ago
I had the surgery a long time ago. It was not terrible, and without too many disgusting details, self-care afterwards is the most important thing. Funny story: when I was at Google, a friend and his wife came to visit. She went into the ladies', and beforehand I told her about the bidets in the toilets. She came out and said, "My God, you have to study to use one of those!"
mavu 4y ago
Beautiful. Poems for and from 2023.
subpixel 4y ago
This doesn't deserve to be flagged.
VitoVan 4y ago
It seems the post is down: https://stats.uptimerobot.com/RLZ25tGzKx https://stats.uptimerobot.com/RLZ25tGzKx it also happened the last time I posted something here, here is the backup: https://vitovan.com/jack.html https://vitovan.com/jack.html

66 points by VitoVan 4y ago

pell 4y ago

It sounds like Jack's medical condition was bad enough that his decision to go for the surgery was inevitable, software installation trouble or not.

jdoss 4y ago

Hemorrhoids are awful. I have a close circle of friends that have different careers and are in a range of physical shape and most of us have some degree of hemorrhoid issues going on. One of them had surgery for them and they said it was one of most painful surgeries they have gone through. At least we can gripe about our shared ass pains together.

pedrosorio 4y ago
Are people supposed to feel pain during surgery or do you mean in recovery?

_ache_ 4y ago

Maybe [Kiss My Ass] from Takeshi Ohmi could be a good read to Jack's ass.

vgivanovic 4y ago

Use a Japanese-style toilet bidet. Bolt-on, cold water ones are less than $50. (You get used to the cold water, surprisingly.) Warm water ones, less than $100. Top-of-the-line (entire) toilets, $4000. WFM, YMMV

geraldwhen 4y ago
Also great for kids who you can’t be sure wiped but you can be sure used a bidet, because you can hear the water spraying.
PerryCox 4y ago
I have hemorrhoids and bought a bidet about 2 years ago. I have not had a single flair up since I started using it. I cannot recommend them highly enough.
yamtaddle 4y ago
We got what's supposed to be a good one of the add-on kind, and I expected to really like it, but instead I hate it. It makes the toilet quite a bit harder to clean and I don't see any way that it's not just spraying old shit-flecks and piss drops at me, which will surely find their way to the nozzle with some regularity. I think I'd really like a proper, separate bidet, but it turns out I hate the bolt-on kind.

kerblang 4y ago

Long ago in the age before the semiotics of standing-desk superiority came into fashion, I worked with a gentleman who made his own stander from plywood and screws and so forth, and stood all day every day, and he was in fact a Lisp programmer in good standing. It was rumored that he had patootie problems but I chose not to pry.

spapas82 4y ago

I'm hijacking the thread but I'd be grateful to read about other people hemorrhoids experience. I'll start: I had hemorrhoids which had to be operated because they become thrombosed. So I did a surgery (with general anaesthesia) to remove them. The recovery pain was unbearable, a real torture. For like 3 months I was in pain all the time and had to take painkillers and put some special cream on the operated area (my ass). I couldn't sit and had to lie down all the time(I was lucky that I wasn't working at this time). Going to the toilet was really painful at first but that improved after some weeks. This was considered normal. The thing is that even now, almost 5 years after the operation, it still bothers me, depending on my stool (if it's hard it's a big problem). Does it ever heal? All in all unless really required I don't recommend operating your hemorrhoids. Change your diet, use a bidet, use creams and try to avoid surgery!!!

jsqu99 4y ago
i had an anal fissure for some time (6 weeks) and it was also unbearable. opiods didn't help at all. the drs told me something about them not working in that part of the body. hot baths several times a day. they wanted me to insert some cream up there using my pinky, which just make the pain worse by re-aggravating the area. I'm still not sure how it eventually healed, but I really started to understand why people in chronic pain would consider suicide.
- unxdfa 4y ago
  Been there and can sympathise. After a couple of weeks you literally wonder if this is your entire life now and if you want to live like it. The worst bit though was how I got the fissure. I had a nearly completely obstructed anus. The human body will clear that if you like it or not, with or without medical intervention and it will do damage on the way out. Ugh. Eat more fibre and drink more water!
- birdyrooster 4y ago
  Been there and that took like over a year to fully become normal again.
arittr 4y ago

b215826 4y ago

> If you have any interest, here is the ass-curing software: Focolizzare. How does this compare to other "take a break" programs like xwrits and Workrave?

VitoVan 4y ago
Maybe this is just worse ;-)

sph 4y ago

Vito, you're an excellent writer and I found this post hilarious and wise in a programming Zen kind of way. "A student asked the Master: 'I can't sit. I can't concentrate. How do I cure my hemorroids?' The Master replied, 'Have you tried Lisp?' The student stood pensive, then was not in pain anymore."

VitoVan 4y ago
Wow! Thanks! I think we should have a cup of coffee together. :-)

11235813213455 4y ago

Sitting down is not a great position for a human or any other animal. Good ones are on your knees (like Japanese) or squatting (if you can hold this position for a while, you can put something under your heels to make it easier), or lying down

AlbertCory 4y ago

I had the surgery a long time ago. It was not terrible, and without too many disgusting details, self-care afterwards is the most important thing. Funny story: when I was at Google, a friend and his wife came to visit. She went into the ladies', and beforehand I told her about the bidets in the toilets. She came out and said, "My God, you have to study to use one of those!"

mavu 4y ago

Beautiful. Poems for and from 2023.

subpixel 4y ago

This doesn't deserve to be flagged.

VitoVan 4y ago

It seems the post is down: https://stats.uptimerobot.com/RLZ25tGzKx https://stats.uptimerobot.com/RLZ25tGzKx it also happened the last time I posted something here, here is the backup: https://vitovan.com/jack.html https://vitovan.com/jack.html