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I have found that instead of wanting things I don't own, wanting to see created things I haven't created yet very liberating. Since it makes my goals very pers

I have found that instead of wanting things I don't own, wanting to see created things I haven't created yet very liberating. Since it makes my goals very personal, I can't compare myself on an objective metric with other people and as a result feel less frustrated about not earning more.

amelius 4y ago
How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?
- antisceptic 4y ago
  I'd imagine a healthier version of something like: "Simpletons, relying on consumerism for their dopamine rush, they're no different from ants! Meanwhile I am a /creator/ of things!"
  - amelius 4y ago
    You can't hide in that idea because back in the real world, your friends receive all the love and admiration for owning great things (something like status), while you get a tap on the shoulder.
    - speedgoose 4y ago
      We may live in different worlds. I don’t know anyone who buys a new car every year and if one starts to do so I will feel sorry about their poor financial judgment.
    - tmshu1 4y ago
      Do you actually want love and admiration? What if magically, you got the same love and admiration tomorrow?
    - Waterluvian 4y ago
      Not “the real world” but rather your perception of the world. “The real world” implies that it’s the same thing you describe for everyone. It is definitely bot.
  - toto444 4y ago
    I'd say my version does not include comparison to others. I actually wish more people try their best to create great things even if what their creations are much better than mine. My version would be more like : "Owning a car is very circumstantial. It means you temporarily have some property right on it. It can break, it can be taken away from you. If you create something it's yours forever. Its existence is not independant of your will.". At the end of their lives some people will have owned ten cars, others will have written ten books.
- drbig 4y ago
  > How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year? No need to ignore anything. Instead realize that everyone on this planet has exactly the same amount of hours in a day - the poorest and the richest alike. With that understood realize that you can only spend your time on so _few_ things that you better choose what's really important to you. And thus one may choose to spend time on projects and making stuff, and "friends who buy a new car every year" are simply people that chose differently - there is little point to ordering the choices (or conversely you can always design a metric by which any given choice will be strictly superior to others - thus making such orderings generally pointless). And in terms of money and even its power to buy time - it's all diminishing results surprisingly quickly. And if you like cars then indeed switching every year sounds like a much better strategy than owning many at the same time. To each their own. Would be extremely dull otherwise!
- petercooper 4y ago
  I think it depends on what the car represents to you. Are you truly into cars or are you into the status conferred by owning a new car? If you're genuinely into cars and driving, you might well indulge in buying nice cars and find it emotionally fulfilling. If it's about status, however, you can probably find more fulfilling ways to attain status that doesn't involve purchasing a trinket you don't truly want or need – perhaps by becoming known in the local area as a donor/philanthropist, having the best garden on the street, involvement in local politics or sports teams, being in a band, becoming a busybody on the PTA, and such things. (I admit these things all sound a bit suburban but that's my frame of reference.)
- ericmcer 4y ago
  I don’t ignore them I usually view them as someone whose priorities don’t align with mine. Money is freedom and trading that freedom to get a shiny toy doesn’t make sense to me. I would much rather know I can work on what I want or not work at all than drive to my job in a nicer car.
  - hef19898 4y ago
    The most valuable thing money buys you is first security, directly followed by freedom. I would never trade that freedom in for some shiny toy, or trinket. Or something to impress other people with. If it is something I truely enjoy, and can afford comfortably sure. But then is much more about the experience than it is about the thing. And if people judge you as person based on the car you have, the clothes you wear or the appartment / house you live in, well, maybe ignoring those people actually is a healthy thing to do.
- BizarreByte 4y ago
  Some of us don’t have to trick ourselves. I own a modest house and modest car, they fit into my budget and put me so far ahead of my peers financially people don’t believe me when I say how good things are. A car especially is just a tool, I care as much about someone’s car as I do the hammer in their toolbox, but I am not a car person. It comes down to what you value. Stability, time, and financial freedom matter more to me than any fancy thing I could buy.
  - etothepii 4y ago
    The ultimate luxuries are time and freedom. I'm jealous of those with more of these but not those with a bigger house or car.
    - BizarreByte 4y ago
      > The ultimate luxuries are time and freedom. They definitely are, which is why I forego things that take them away from me. No children or dogs in my future.
- barelyauser 4y ago
  > How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year? The fact you notice and thinks about it means you care. You want a new car every year. You envy it. Be honest to yourself and go get it. That is what you want.
- tmshu1 4y ago
  What stops you from just ignoring them?
  - amelius 4y ago
    Are you suggesting to ignore friends/family? What if they offer you a car ride, and start bragging about their car? Not just once, but over and over. And they have a Bentley, and you have a second hand Toyota? How are serious mind tricks not necessary here to keep your sanity?
    - mantas 4y ago
      What's the problem? Tell the truth that it is indeed a nice car. If you have sanity issues because you ain't driving the nicest car in town... Maybe that's the core issue? Why do you place so much importance on having the nicest car? Vast majority of people do not give a damn what others drive/wear/whatever.
      - amelius 4y ago
        The Bentley is a nice car. The problem is that, unless you are a Tibetan monk, it will make your Toyota look less nice.
        mantas 4y ago
        And Bugatti would make Bentley a not-so-nice car. But once you go off tarmac for your forest cabin, both cars will suck. You may enjoy your 2nd hand toyota, especially if it’s rav4, much more… All in all the only way to win this game is to not play.
- 0wis 4y ago
  Personally, I have some tricks that seem to help. I force myself to come up with at least 3 things I am grateful for as part of my daily journaling. I started this some years ago and it really help to change your focus towards enjoying everything you already have access in modern society. Plus, learning about personal finance, investing and compounding made me think twice before spending. I end up valuing more financial freedom than incremental comfort/status upgrade.
- toto444 4y ago
  I can ask you the same question : How do you ignore friends who write a new book every year?
tmshu1 4y ago
Same. For me, the creational mindset led to a sense of freedom and excitement that the problem-solving mindset can never get close to. Problem-solving mindset: what problem do I need to solve? “Problems” will always arise life (due to other people, random events, our brain always wanting novelty, etc.), so this mindset is a reactive one that leads to anxiety and lack of direction. Creational mindset: what would I love to create? This mindset can seem harder to get at because of all the conditioning we’ve gotten from society and childhood. But all it takes is a simple perspective shift. It leads to more proactivity, and trust that you’ll be able to do whatever you need to do. All the secondary, tertiary, etc. questions about how get answered relatively easily when you’re clear about what you want to create.

amelius 4y ago

How do you trick your brain into this? How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year?

antisceptic 4y ago
I'd imagine a healthier version of something like: "Simpletons, relying on consumerism for their dopamine rush, they're no different from ants! Meanwhile I am a /creator/ of things!"
- amelius 4y ago
  You can't hide in that idea because back in the real world, your friends receive all the love and admiration for owning great things (something like status), while you get a tap on the shoulder.
  - speedgoose 4y ago
    We may live in different worlds. I don’t know anyone who buys a new car every year and if one starts to do so I will feel sorry about their poor financial judgment.
  - tmshu1 4y ago
    Do you actually want love and admiration? What if magically, you got the same love and admiration tomorrow?
  - Waterluvian 4y ago
    Not “the real world” but rather your perception of the world. “The real world” implies that it’s the same thing you describe for everyone. It is definitely bot.
- toto444 4y ago
  I'd say my version does not include comparison to others. I actually wish more people try their best to create great things even if what their creations are much better than mine. My version would be more like : "Owning a car is very circumstantial. It means you temporarily have some property right on it. It can break, it can be taken away from you. If you create something it's yours forever. Its existence is not independant of your will.". At the end of their lives some people will have owned ten cars, others will have written ten books.
drbig 4y ago
> How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year? No need to ignore anything. Instead realize that everyone on this planet has exactly the same amount of hours in a day - the poorest and the richest alike. With that understood realize that you can only spend your time on so _few_ things that you better choose what's really important to you. And thus one may choose to spend time on projects and making stuff, and "friends who buy a new car every year" are simply people that chose differently - there is little point to ordering the choices (or conversely you can always design a metric by which any given choice will be strictly superior to others - thus making such orderings generally pointless). And in terms of money and even its power to buy time - it's all diminishing results surprisingly quickly. And if you like cars then indeed switching every year sounds like a much better strategy than owning many at the same time. To each their own. Would be extremely dull otherwise!
petercooper 4y ago
I think it depends on what the car represents to you. Are you truly into cars or are you into the status conferred by owning a new car? If you're genuinely into cars and driving, you might well indulge in buying nice cars and find it emotionally fulfilling. If it's about status, however, you can probably find more fulfilling ways to attain status that doesn't involve purchasing a trinket you don't truly want or need – perhaps by becoming known in the local area as a donor/philanthropist, having the best garden on the street, involvement in local politics or sports teams, being in a band, becoming a busybody on the PTA, and such things. (I admit these things all sound a bit suburban but that's my frame of reference.)
ericmcer 4y ago
I don’t ignore them I usually view them as someone whose priorities don’t align with mine. Money is freedom and trading that freedom to get a shiny toy doesn’t make sense to me. I would much rather know I can work on what I want or not work at all than drive to my job in a nicer car.
- hef19898 4y ago
  The most valuable thing money buys you is first security, directly followed by freedom. I would never trade that freedom in for some shiny toy, or trinket. Or something to impress other people with. If it is something I truely enjoy, and can afford comfortably sure. But then is much more about the experience than it is about the thing. And if people judge you as person based on the car you have, the clothes you wear or the appartment / house you live in, well, maybe ignoring those people actually is a healthy thing to do.
BizarreByte 4y ago
Some of us don’t have to trick ourselves. I own a modest house and modest car, they fit into my budget and put me so far ahead of my peers financially people don’t believe me when I say how good things are. A car especially is just a tool, I care as much about someone’s car as I do the hammer in their toolbox, but I am not a car person. It comes down to what you value. Stability, time, and financial freedom matter more to me than any fancy thing I could buy.
- etothepii 4y ago
  The ultimate luxuries are time and freedom. I'm jealous of those with more of these but not those with a bigger house or car.
  - BizarreByte 4y ago
    > The ultimate luxuries are time and freedom. They definitely are, which is why I forego things that take them away from me. No children or dogs in my future.
barelyauser 4y ago
> How do you ignore friends who buy a new car every year? The fact you notice and thinks about it means you care. You want a new car every year. You envy it. Be honest to yourself and go get it. That is what you want.
tmshu1 4y ago
What stops you from just ignoring them?
- amelius 4y ago
  Are you suggesting to ignore friends/family? What if they offer you a car ride, and start bragging about their car? Not just once, but over and over. And they have a Bentley, and you have a second hand Toyota? How are serious mind tricks not necessary here to keep your sanity?
  - mantas 4y ago
    What's the problem? Tell the truth that it is indeed a nice car. If you have sanity issues because you ain't driving the nicest car in town... Maybe that's the core issue? Why do you place so much importance on having the nicest car? Vast majority of people do not give a damn what others drive/wear/whatever.
    - amelius 4y ago
      The Bentley is a nice car. The problem is that, unless you are a Tibetan monk, it will make your Toyota look less nice.
      - mantas 4y ago
        And Bugatti would make Bentley a not-so-nice car. But once you go off tarmac for your forest cabin, both cars will suck. You may enjoy your 2nd hand toyota, especially if it’s rav4, much more… All in all the only way to win this game is to not play.
0wis 4y ago
Personally, I have some tricks that seem to help. I force myself to come up with at least 3 things I am grateful for as part of my daily journaling. I started this some years ago and it really help to change your focus towards enjoying everything you already have access in modern society. Plus, learning about personal finance, investing and compounding made me think twice before spending. I end up valuing more financial freedom than incremental comfort/status upgrade.
toto444 4y ago
I can ask you the same question : How do you ignore friends who write a new book every year?

tmshu1 4y ago

Same. For me, the creational mindset led to a sense of freedom and excitement that the problem-solving mindset can never get close to. Problem-solving mindset: what problem do I need to solve? “Problems” will always arise life (due to other people, random events, our brain always wanting novelty, etc.), so this mindset is a reactive one that leads to anxiety and lack of direction. Creational mindset: what would I love to create? This mindset can seem harder to get at because of all the conditioning we’ve gotten from society and childhood. But all it takes is a simple perspective shift. It leads to more proactivity, and trust that you’ll be able to do whatever you need to do. All the secondary, tertiary, etc. questions about how get answered relatively easily when you’re clear about what you want to create.