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Another anecdote... People think my dad was nuts for letting me drink a beer here or there growing up. It was always in moderation. Typically only one drink, m

Another anecdote... People think my dad was nuts for letting me drink a beer here or there growing up. It was always in moderation. Typically only one drink, maybe two spread out over lots of time if we were fishing. He talked openly about keeping drinking in check. He even addressed alcoholism in our family history, admitting to keeping a close eye on his consumption due to those predispositions; stressing that I'd have to watch it too. Since I was a young kid who felt privileged sippin' on a Highlife I listened closely taking a lot away from those conversations. Fast forward to HS/college... never drank in HS because it was primarily only losers who would drink at the time... and in college I was always the party nurse or DD because I wouldn't drink to get drunk - I just didn't see the point. Dad had took all of the novelty out of it for me. --- Kids who come from overly strict or controlling parents often have behavior and moderation issues once leaving the nest. Your #1 goal as a parent is to engage them and teach them how to navigate life in careful and healthy ways vs. trying to outright control their behavior. Hard truth is you're not always going to be there - my dad died when I was 14. Being an authoritarian doesn't give your kid a healthy mental framework to help them through life's complexities, you're only teaching them to be afraid of punishment and consequences.

actionfromafar 4y ago
To readers of the comment above, keep in mind that this approach likely works best with such a wise and calm man, and perhaps it helps having a son of much the same disposition. In aggregate, it's shown that children who drink in general have more drinking problems as adults.
waboremo 4y ago
Some great notes here! Moderating is hard, but it's crucial in development. Too much or too little of anything has absurd longterm impacts. Moderation mixed with education has tremendous positive impacts. Going with the alcohol example, you grow up knowing what it tastes like and what it does, rather than growing up completely unaware of it other than your college friends say it's cool to get hammered. You have to be teaching your kids about life, it seems like so many forget this trying to create the ultimate curated experience for them.
nonrandomstring 4y ago
14. Shit that made me cry. I hope you always manage to steer clear of alcoholism if your old man thought you might inherit a disposition. And your dad sounds very courageous and wise to talk straight to you.
justsomehnguy 4y ago
"The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest." Sadly this approach doesn't always work, but this is the only way to at least to give an idea on how it tastes and feels. Works great for spirits for up to 12-14 years, though, kids don't like the bitterness at all.
joenot443 4y ago
> because it was primarily only losers who would drink at the time What was the dynamic like at your high school where the losers would party with alcohol and the cool kids stayed sober?

actionfromafar 4y ago

To readers of the comment above, keep in mind that this approach likely works best with such a wise and calm man, and perhaps it helps having a son of much the same disposition. In aggregate, it's shown that children who drink in general have more drinking problems as adults.

waboremo 4y ago

Some great notes here! Moderating is hard, but it's crucial in development. Too much or too little of anything has absurd longterm impacts. Moderation mixed with education has tremendous positive impacts. Going with the alcohol example, you grow up knowing what it tastes like and what it does, rather than growing up completely unaware of it other than your college friends say it's cool to get hammered. You have to be teaching your kids about life, it seems like so many forget this trying to create the ultimate curated experience for them.

nonrandomstring 4y ago

14. Shit that made me cry. I hope you always manage to steer clear of alcoholism if your old man thought you might inherit a disposition. And your dad sounds very courageous and wise to talk straight to you.

justsomehnguy 4y ago

"The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest." Sadly this approach doesn't always work, but this is the only way to at least to give an idea on how it tastes and feels. Works great for spirits for up to 12-14 years, though, kids don't like the bitterness at all.

joenot443 4y ago

> because it was primarily only losers who would drink at the time What was the dynamic like at your high school where the losers would party with alcohol and the cool kids stayed sober?