First, way to go! You've chosen to be vulnerable, and that is a great first step. Second, get a therapist. It may seem expensive, and not helpful at first, but

First, way to go! You've chosen to be vulnerable, and that is a great first step. Second, get a therapist. It may seem expensive, and not helpful at first, but as I'm sure you already felt in writing this post, just talking about your thoughts and issues really does help. Third, it's NEVER too late. I'm 42 and learning and growing daily. I've had to change a lot in the last decade to remain 1) relevant, and 2) in the loop. I've had to learn to network again, because my original network of friends and colleagues dried up. It's possible, and after you start with a therapist, it'll be easier and more rewarding than ever before. Finally, and I can't stress this enough, get out and do service for others. Soup kitchens, shoveling snow, cutting grass, whatever you can do. It will give you an immediate jolt of worth, and make the world a better place for all involved. I wish you luck friend. If you need more talking, let me know utahcon [at] utahcon dot com