7 ms·

There are a lot of dismissive replies to this comment but as a woman who has tried this in "safe" but unfamiliar cities, things can get scary very quickly. Catc

There are a lot of dismissive replies to this comment but as a woman who has tried this in "safe" but unfamiliar cities, things can get scary very quickly. Catcalls are inevitable, and only the beginning. A catcall from a passing car that has slowed to swerve towards you is terrifying. Yes, self-defense and being aware of your surroundings help, but don't exactly lend themselves to the state of mind described in this article. I am not speaking from paranoia, but from experience.

Saint_Genet 4y ago
- lyricism 4y ago
  This is my first comment but I have read this site daily since I created the account in March. I felt that my experience would be a valuable addition to the thread and I am not attempting to speak for all women. I'm sorry if it came off that way and I am genuinely happy that you haven't had this experience. This site seems to be a bit of an echo chamber sometimes so I thought I'd offer a differing opinion.
  - Tehnix 4y ago
    I hope you keep commenting! I think your experience brought a good balance to an otherwise one-sided viewpoint. I think a lot of people here haven't really been exposed to actual dangerous areas in the world, but even in seemingly safe areas, I know a lot of my female friends feel very unsafe walking there alone. All it takes is one drunk dude...
    - lyricism 4y ago
      Thank you! I love seeing the technical posts, I'm such a nerd. I haven't had much to contribute, just absorbing. This post was different, I learned about flânerie in college, loved the concept and tried it, and got a reality check. Thought it would be worth a comment.
- frogpelt 4y ago
  What's your point?
Ma8ee 4y ago
Thank you for the reminder. As a 95 kg white male who only on a few very rare occasions felt even a bit nervous walking anywhere, it is good to get a reminder that different people experience our same world very differently.
- FredPret 4y ago
  I'm a big guy too. It's always good to remember that women and smaller men essentially live in a different world from us from a safety point of view. But in a truly dangerous city, size won't help you - even a kid can kill you with a gun or a knife.
- quickthrower2 4y ago
  It is not the physique / weight but the intent, which is some kind of sexual harassment at a minimum. A 60kg skinny man can worry less tham a 60kg gym going woman.
  - autoexec 4y ago
    > It is not the physique / weight but the intent, which is some kind of sexual harassment at a minimum. that seems like a weird take. Most of the time I'd think people wandering unfamiliar streets will be accosted by assholes looking for money than looking for someone to sexually harass. Even catcallers will have various motivations which might not involve intent to sexually harass (even though that's usually the effect). Men have a lower risk of being sexually assaulted while a mugger or a scammer will happily target individuals of either sex if they think they can get away with it. Men do tend to the preferred target for someone looking to start a fight however which can make a difference depending on the area and how territorial the local thugs are. Still, I'd feel way more comfortable as a 60kg woman who was fit and knew how to defend herself than I would as a 60kg man who had no idea how to fight and little muscle. In either case if someone assaulted me I would be targeted because I'm being perceived as weak and vulnerable, and in only one of those scenarios would I be in a position to quickly give an assailant cause to reassess and back off. Staying aware of your surroundings and taking sensible precautions when wandering (anywhere) is good advice for anybody.

Saint_Genet 4y ago

lyricism 4y ago
This is my first comment but I have read this site daily since I created the account in March. I felt that my experience would be a valuable addition to the thread and I am not attempting to speak for all women. I'm sorry if it came off that way and I am genuinely happy that you haven't had this experience. This site seems to be a bit of an echo chamber sometimes so I thought I'd offer a differing opinion.
- Tehnix 4y ago
  I hope you keep commenting! I think your experience brought a good balance to an otherwise one-sided viewpoint. I think a lot of people here haven't really been exposed to actual dangerous areas in the world, but even in seemingly safe areas, I know a lot of my female friends feel very unsafe walking there alone. All it takes is one drunk dude...
  - lyricism 4y ago
    Thank you! I love seeing the technical posts, I'm such a nerd. I haven't had much to contribute, just absorbing. This post was different, I learned about flânerie in college, loved the concept and tried it, and got a reality check. Thought it would be worth a comment.
frogpelt 4y ago
What's your point?

Ma8ee 4y ago

Thank you for the reminder. As a 95 kg white male who only on a few very rare occasions felt even a bit nervous walking anywhere, it is good to get a reminder that different people experience our same world very differently.

FredPret 4y ago
I'm a big guy too. It's always good to remember that women and smaller men essentially live in a different world from us from a safety point of view. But in a truly dangerous city, size won't help you - even a kid can kill you with a gun or a knife.
quickthrower2 4y ago
It is not the physique / weight but the intent, which is some kind of sexual harassment at a minimum. A 60kg skinny man can worry less tham a 60kg gym going woman.
- autoexec 4y ago
  > It is not the physique / weight but the intent, which is some kind of sexual harassment at a minimum. that seems like a weird take. Most of the time I'd think people wandering unfamiliar streets will be accosted by assholes looking for money than looking for someone to sexually harass. Even catcallers will have various motivations which might not involve intent to sexually harass (even though that's usually the effect). Men have a lower risk of being sexually assaulted while a mugger or a scammer will happily target individuals of either sex if they think they can get away with it. Men do tend to the preferred target for someone looking to start a fight however which can make a difference depending on the area and how territorial the local thugs are. Still, I'd feel way more comfortable as a 60kg woman who was fit and knew how to defend herself than I would as a 60kg man who had no idea how to fight and little muscle. In either case if someone assaulted me I would be targeted because I'm being perceived as weak and vulnerable, and in only one of those scenarios would I be in a position to quickly give an assailant cause to reassess and back off. Staying aware of your surroundings and taking sensible precautions when wandering (anywhere) is good advice for anybody.