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> indian subcontinent where multi-generational families mean you're never really alone. It's changing fast, especially in big cities. Families are becoming mor

> indian subcontinent where multi-generational families mean you're never really alone. It's changing fast, especially in big cities. Families are becoming more nuclear. Its still much better than western countries though.

bowsamic 4y ago
Is it better? I know someone from one of those cultures who says he will never move out until his parents die, there is no independence
- notsureaboutpg 4y ago
- Veen 4y ago
  It's a tradeoff. Close-knit families limit your freedom, but they also provide stability, companionship, emotional and financial support, etc. On the other hand, you can have total independence from family and community, but then you aren't really a member. Most western people don't think like this any more, but it used to be understood and accepted that belonging to a family or community is rewarding, but it comes with duties and obligations—often life-long. You can't have one without the other.
  - hn_version_0023 4y ago
    > Most western people don't think like this any more, but it used to be understood and accepted that belonging to a family or community is rewarding, but it comes with duties and obligations I think you’ve hit the nail square on the head here: this is perhaps the thing that bothers me most about life in the US.. no sense of community, belonging, etc. I’ve been chronically lonely for pretty much all of my 46 years. I don’t see any communities or families I’d be OK with joining, contributing to, or even leaning on for support. Everyone is so selfish it turns my stomach, doubly so as I know I’m as guilty as anyone for being selfish.
    - baby 4y ago
      I think everyone used to be religious and so church and mass was a way to get a community. Since more and more people are atheists, this community thing hasn’t really translated to the other side.
      - bowsamic 4y ago
        Yeah I would say so. People used to go to church, now they don't, and nothing has replaced it. Of course loneliness will increase
        ryandrake 4y ago
        Political Ideology seems to be slowly replacing church. They are starting to develop very similar "features" as religions: Complex belief systems, rules for living, communities of like-minded (and clearly defined outsiders), ideological friends and enemies, in many cases "with us or against us" mentalities, hero/idol worship, ideology-specific literature, icons and imagery, rituals, chants and singing, repetitive speech and propaganda to reinforce beliefs, community activity (either -building or -destroying), belief in mysticism/supernatural/conspiracies. That religion-shaped hole that people have when they walk away from traditional religion is getting filled with something similar.
        baby 4y ago
        Politics has always been like religion my friend, but it’s much more divisive than anything imo
    - bowsamic 4y ago
      The US is worse for it than a lot of other western countries tho. Unless you’re religious, that is
      - hn_version_0023 4y ago
        I’m a lifelong atheist, but I am starting to look at religion simply for the community and fellowship. But honestly I don’t want to be religious. It seems like it entirely suspends one’s ability to think critically, and I have so little of that particular talent that letting go of what I do what feels like a disaster in the making. It feels exceptionally hard to go into it with an open mind.

bowsamic 4y ago

Is it better? I know someone from one of those cultures who says he will never move out until his parents die, there is no independence

notsureaboutpg 4y ago
Veen 4y ago
It's a tradeoff. Close-knit families limit your freedom, but they also provide stability, companionship, emotional and financial support, etc. On the other hand, you can have total independence from family and community, but then you aren't really a member. Most western people don't think like this any more, but it used to be understood and accepted that belonging to a family or community is rewarding, but it comes with duties and obligations—often life-long. You can't have one without the other.
- hn_version_0023 4y ago
  > Most western people don't think like this any more, but it used to be understood and accepted that belonging to a family or community is rewarding, but it comes with duties and obligations I think you’ve hit the nail square on the head here: this is perhaps the thing that bothers me most about life in the US.. no sense of community, belonging, etc. I’ve been chronically lonely for pretty much all of my 46 years. I don’t see any communities or families I’d be OK with joining, contributing to, or even leaning on for support. Everyone is so selfish it turns my stomach, doubly so as I know I’m as guilty as anyone for being selfish.
  - baby 4y ago
    I think everyone used to be religious and so church and mass was a way to get a community. Since more and more people are atheists, this community thing hasn’t really translated to the other side.
    - bowsamic 4y ago
      Yeah I would say so. People used to go to church, now they don't, and nothing has replaced it. Of course loneliness will increase
      - ryandrake 4y ago
        Political Ideology seems to be slowly replacing church. They are starting to develop very similar "features" as religions: Complex belief systems, rules for living, communities of like-minded (and clearly defined outsiders), ideological friends and enemies, in many cases "with us or against us" mentalities, hero/idol worship, ideology-specific literature, icons and imagery, rituals, chants and singing, repetitive speech and propaganda to reinforce beliefs, community activity (either -building or -destroying), belief in mysticism/supernatural/conspiracies. That religion-shaped hole that people have when they walk away from traditional religion is getting filled with something similar.
        baby 4y ago
        Politics has always been like religion my friend, but it’s much more divisive than anything imo
  - bowsamic 4y ago
    The US is worse for it than a lot of other western countries tho. Unless you’re religious, that is
    - hn_version_0023 4y ago
      I’m a lifelong atheist, but I am starting to look at religion simply for the community and fellowship. But honestly I don’t want to be religious. It seems like it entirely suspends one’s ability to think critically, and I have so little of that particular talent that letting go of what I do what feels like a disaster in the making. It feels exceptionally hard to go into it with an open mind.