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Ironically, I have done exactly the two tips you mentioned, and I can confidently say that my life has changed drastically. In fact, so much so, that when I cat
by varrock 4y ago
Ironically, I have done exactly the two tips you mentioned, and I can confidently say that my life has changed drastically. In fact, so much so, that when I catch up with people who knew me even two years ago, they usually make a comment.
One thing I was initially afraid of when deciding to move was “running away from my problems” only to realize I’m in the exact same situation as before. Well, that was actually very true. I still felt like the same “awkward” person despite moving across the country. But here’s the difference; I was actually motivated to fix it.
Being in a new city opened my eyes to how much I wanted to explore, but also how much I was holding myself back. Ever since moving, I’ve lost my fear of being myself, have a partner, and found a higher paying job.
My main point here is that while you can’t run away from your true inner self, a new environment can certainly change your perspective and direction. I also want to note that I’m making it sound like it was as easy as moving, so to be transparent, it wasn’t easy. It took a lot of self discipline and discomfort, but it was worth every second of doubt.
- laurent92 4y agoIf it took only 2 years, it was easy. I’ve travelled around the world and did most of the possible side quests, including the workout phase, the guitar phase, the charity/vegan phase, the millionaire phase, and I’m still transparent to women. And I’ve grown bitter. I did everything I could. I’d say “please, help” but to be honest, I’ve grown too bitter to hear the advice. It’s a game designed to make me lose, I’m neither BALM nor female, so they just want to exclude me.
- aqme28 4y agoBALM?
- hattmall 4y agoBlack, Asian, Latino, or Mixed. Basically he's just a regular white man which gets no love in a lot of liberal areas unless you do something unique like those "phases" he mentioned. He should move. The best thing you can do as a white man is move somewhere that everyone isn't white. Then you will get a lot of attention even if you're very boring.
- _3u10 4y agoIt’s not about them it’s about you. Do things for you, not them. If you still insist on making it about them do everything women complain about that’s not illegal, except dick pics, unless you’re hung. I’d recommend pairing the millionaire thing with bringing a couple grams with you to party. Everything else you described sounds like incel stuff.
- moritonal 4y agoYou're referring to life as a game, and checking off a list of objectives. I might be wrong, but from just what you said it sounds like you did these "phases" because you wanted people to think you were these things, not because you were them. I've found people (especially woman) are good at seeing through these pretenses.
- laurent92 4y agoWhat tells you I wanted people to believe I were these things? I did guitar because it was nice to sing, and the idea of singing around a bonfire and maybe making people sing was just a good feeling. I sang the last song of a friend who died from cancer, and that was a song we had written together. He went for his last sleep on it, that’s the best departure I could imagine for him. Unfortunately, I plateaued at some level, like probably everyone does, so it became boring and annoying to not progress. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t guitar. Anyway I don’t understand what women are looking for, that’s why I’m getting downvoted.
- moritonal 4y agoI want to help, but you actually supported my point. You learnt guitar because you wanted the good feeling of people joining in you, which is the feeling of admiration. You've supposedly been very successful and are caring of your friends, so I might be wrong of course. But it sounds like a case of socialmedia addiction along with incel-esk belief that if you matched a certain image, women would simply line up. You should do things because they are your passion. To test this, is there a skill you're proud of and promote as your image that would not be seen as classically attractive? A stunning Pong score, a weirdly advance knowledge of B52 planes? A passion for fantasy books and their effect on the Mongolian peninsula?
- moritonal 4y agoAnd I say all of this as someone who tried to learn guitar because I wanted to have that cool singing moment, but looking back I just wanted to be the center of attention. Which is very unattractive.
- majormajor 4y agoYou describe an approach to dating that sounds like you're playing a video game and everyone else is an NPC. It's not about ticking achievements off a box. You're playing the race card, but I'm pretty positive that there are countless white males less successful than a claimed fit millionaire guitar-playing you who somehow have found relationships! If you could somehow change your skin color you'd have the same problems because that's no more a meaningful change for building strong relationships than playing guitar or working out.
- laurent92 4y agoThis comment contains no advice. It just tells that all the tracks I’ve tried are wrong/not useful (in your books, at least).
- ozim 4y agoIt contains a lot of advice. Like: - stop treating people like NPCs in game, because it makes you look like a simpleton not them - "scoring" is not the goal, living life is - being interesting as a person is much more than "working out", "playing guitar" - if you try to "score" you seem like desperate loser, people see right through it - amount of money in bank account does not mean much if you are desperate loser - people have emotions and it is most important part to understand to "win" in life
- laurent92 4y agoCool, I do none of that. The lengths that are required for people to acknowledge a problem… The “it must be you” answer.