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> It's vastly easier to just start erring on the side of "You're all just sexist pigs!" So if we lived in a world were the concept of sexism was not as well de

> It's vastly easier to just start erring on the side of "You're all just sexist pigs!" So if we lived in a world were the concept of sexism was not as well developed as it is now, at least here in the US, you wouldn't have this internal conflict? Is this not enough reason to not engage in discussion and encourage others (presumably women) not to engage in behavior that keeps sexism at the very forefront of thought?

DoreenMichele 5y ago
I don't understand what you are trying to say.
- calylex 5y ago
  That maybe it's better not to pour salt on the wound by talking about sexism? Are you as engaged in the other top 30 stories on HN today or somehow this one is the one you needed to chime in on the most?
  - DoreenMichele 5y ago
    That maybe it's better not to pour salt on the wound by talking about sexism? Are you as engaged in the other top 30 stories on HN today or somehow this one is the one you needed to chime in on the most? That's basically a personal attack. I tend to get more attention and engagement for certain topics. If I am less engaged on other topics, that's partly because of "audience response," so to speak. My first comment on HN today is this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26612921 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26612921 It's about health stuff. It has two upvotes and zero replies. I also posted this which is my writing on one of my many blogs: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26615169 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26615169 It has zero upvotes and zero comments (and not because my stuff never does well -- sometimes, it does well). I'm not pouring salt on any wounds to engage here. I go out of my way to not pour salt on wounds. It's an inherently hard problem to solve. My failure to readily solve it is not because I'm not trying hard enough or something. You can infer that I am handling it pretty darn well based on my cumulative karma here and the fact that I haven't been banned (at least not yet).
    - calylex 5y ago
      I am well aware of your karma points here and have been for years, I was not implying you go around gaslighting or anything of the sort. My point was about you and your wellbeing not others necessarily. When you said above: > "Is this actually constructive criticism or toxic bullshit?" and keep trying to engage in good faith in the face of certain patterns. It's just exhausting I'm not sure why it's hard to get this rather simple point across, but what I'm trying to say is the fact that you engage in frequent discussion about sexism may have something to do with it being at the forefront of your thought and the source of your struggle in deciding if something is out of good faith criticism or "toxic bullshit".
      - DoreenMichele 5y ago
        You seem to be reading in a lot more hurt feelings on my part than I really have. I was doing a thing called "giving testimony." [1] I talk about sexism because it comes up. I talk about sexism because it is pertinent to my life. I talk about sexism because I happen to be online and have nothing better to do because the thing my life revolves around is coping with my medical situation. [2] I overall have a really positive opinion of HN which is why I spend so much time here. There seems to be no good way to express that and also state clearly "But I still need more income anyway, even though I don't hate everyone here." Wherever you go, there you are. I am likely the highest ranked woman here because literally starving and being homeless helped me heal when that isn't supposed to be possible. It's routinely drama to talk about my medical situation and I get called a liar to my face and told I'm crazy for talking about the fact that I'm getting healthier when that isn't supposed to be possible. Hacker News is the only place on the internet where it is ever possible for me to have any kind of meaty, meaningful discussion of medical material and it has been a source of occasional one-off conversations with people with PhDs in Biology or what not who were kind enough to answer my questions in layman's terms, which has literally been lifesaving and life giving. I don't hate HN. I do hate being desperately poor. It really sucks and I would like it to stop being a part of my life. I'm at a point where I got the memo: Contrary to everything medical science seems to believe about my condition, semi-fasting is beneficial and will likely remain a part of my protocol for the rest of my life, even if I stop being poor. Though I only learned that because I was literally homeless and going hungry for part of most months for several years. For most women, being homeless and going hungry would not be a literally life saving experience for them. It would be merely embittering. So there is never any good way to talk about the fact that Hacker News literally has helped to save my life and also make the point "I would like to stop being poor." I don't want people to hear "She starved and that saved her life" and use that as some kind of bullshit justification for "Womenz should just be abused. It's better for them!" I have very poor credibility when it comes to talking about my firsthand experience with getting healthier when the world claims that simply cannot be done. I'm in a no win situation in that regard. Talking about sexism in the world is generally far less controversial than talking about the fact that I am getting well when that isn't supposed to be possible. I love and adore HN. I loathe how fucking poor I am. I hate it with every fiber of my being and I would like to stop being poor and I am absolutely certain my gender is a factor in my intractable poverty. I don't really care to engage further with you on this subject. [1] https://witnesstodestruction.blogspot.com/p/a-pragmatic-approach-to-thorny-people.html https://witnesstodestruction.blogspot.com/p/a-pragmatic-appr... [2] https://writepay.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-occupation.html https://writepay.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-occupation.html
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]

DoreenMichele 5y ago

I don't understand what you are trying to say.

calylex 5y ago
That maybe it's better not to pour salt on the wound by talking about sexism? Are you as engaged in the other top 30 stories on HN today or somehow this one is the one you needed to chime in on the most?
- DoreenMichele 5y ago
  That maybe it's better not to pour salt on the wound by talking about sexism? Are you as engaged in the other top 30 stories on HN today or somehow this one is the one you needed to chime in on the most? That's basically a personal attack. I tend to get more attention and engagement for certain topics. If I am less engaged on other topics, that's partly because of "audience response," so to speak. My first comment on HN today is this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26612921 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26612921 It's about health stuff. It has two upvotes and zero replies. I also posted this which is my writing on one of my many blogs: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26615169 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26615169 It has zero upvotes and zero comments (and not because my stuff never does well -- sometimes, it does well). I'm not pouring salt on any wounds to engage here. I go out of my way to not pour salt on wounds. It's an inherently hard problem to solve. My failure to readily solve it is not because I'm not trying hard enough or something. You can infer that I am handling it pretty darn well based on my cumulative karma here and the fact that I haven't been banned (at least not yet).
  - calylex 5y ago
    I am well aware of your karma points here and have been for years, I was not implying you go around gaslighting or anything of the sort. My point was about you and your wellbeing not others necessarily. When you said above: > "Is this actually constructive criticism or toxic bullshit?" and keep trying to engage in good faith in the face of certain patterns. It's just exhausting I'm not sure why it's hard to get this rather simple point across, but what I'm trying to say is the fact that you engage in frequent discussion about sexism may have something to do with it being at the forefront of your thought and the source of your struggle in deciding if something is out of good faith criticism or "toxic bullshit".
    - DoreenMichele 5y ago
      You seem to be reading in a lot more hurt feelings on my part than I really have. I was doing a thing called "giving testimony." [1] I talk about sexism because it comes up. I talk about sexism because it is pertinent to my life. I talk about sexism because I happen to be online and have nothing better to do because the thing my life revolves around is coping with my medical situation. [2] I overall have a really positive opinion of HN which is why I spend so much time here. There seems to be no good way to express that and also state clearly "But I still need more income anyway, even though I don't hate everyone here." Wherever you go, there you are. I am likely the highest ranked woman here because literally starving and being homeless helped me heal when that isn't supposed to be possible. It's routinely drama to talk about my medical situation and I get called a liar to my face and told I'm crazy for talking about the fact that I'm getting healthier when that isn't supposed to be possible. Hacker News is the only place on the internet where it is ever possible for me to have any kind of meaty, meaningful discussion of medical material and it has been a source of occasional one-off conversations with people with PhDs in Biology or what not who were kind enough to answer my questions in layman's terms, which has literally been lifesaving and life giving. I don't hate HN. I do hate being desperately poor. It really sucks and I would like it to stop being a part of my life. I'm at a point where I got the memo: Contrary to everything medical science seems to believe about my condition, semi-fasting is beneficial and will likely remain a part of my protocol for the rest of my life, even if I stop being poor. Though I only learned that because I was literally homeless and going hungry for part of most months for several years. For most women, being homeless and going hungry would not be a literally life saving experience for them. It would be merely embittering. So there is never any good way to talk about the fact that Hacker News literally has helped to save my life and also make the point "I would like to stop being poor." I don't want people to hear "She starved and that saved her life" and use that as some kind of bullshit justification for "Womenz should just be abused. It's better for them!" I have very poor credibility when it comes to talking about my firsthand experience with getting healthier when the world claims that simply cannot be done. I'm in a no win situation in that regard. Talking about sexism in the world is generally far less controversial than talking about the fact that I am getting well when that isn't supposed to be possible. I love and adore HN. I loathe how fucking poor I am. I hate it with every fiber of my being and I would like to stop being poor and I am absolutely certain my gender is a factor in my intractable poverty. I don't really care to engage further with you on this subject. [1] https://witnesstodestruction.blogspot.com/p/a-pragmatic-approach-to-thorny-people.html https://witnesstodestruction.blogspot.com/p/a-pragmatic-appr... [2] https://writepay.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-occupation.html https://writepay.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-occupation.html
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]