7 ms·

I would have to submit that family's situation is rare. My dad did what he could to help me, bought me computers, subscriptions to Creative Computing magazine (

I would have to submit that family's situation is rare. My dad did what he could to help me, bought me computers, subscriptions to Creative Computing magazine (I'm dating myself here, read early 80s) and letting me be me. My mother was not academic in any way. She was HS educated in the rural south and didn't contribute to my academics in any way. My father had a MSc in engineering and designed flight systems. He was always gone, sadly, so I had to sort out things myself. With my own children, I read to them, have them read to me, and allow them to pursue their own interests, which as kids under 10, are admittedly not too many or technical, although they are wanting to learn Raspberry Pi stuff. I tend to walk them through their own questions, such as having them analyze potential outcomes. At the same time, I don't want to be a helicopter parent. They play outside, largely by themselves since we live in the county. I do keep on eye on them, but they tend to build things out of wood or look for frogs and lizards. We have agreed they want to build a small-scale replica of a fire lookout tower and they will help choose parts and assist in building. One of them already wants to be in Forestry and has for the last few years. I guess my answer is to allow myself to see our comings and goings as projects that we all enjoy and help them learn along the way.

programmerisme 6y ago
Your parents' situation describes my marriage somewhat. I'm a software developer and (at least in my own evaluation) am an intellectually curious person. My wife is comparatively uneducated, not a good thinker and not very curious at all. We had our first baby this year and I'm the one who does all the research and evaluation to ensure that we're taking care of our baby well and doing the things to help our child be setup for success later in life. The problem is I work full time and she stays at home and is the primary caretaker. So I'm not there most of the time to give intellectual input. As someone who seems to have grown up in similar circumstances, do you have any advice to make the best of this situation? And just curious. Don't have to answer if this is too personal. How was the dynamic between your parents given the intellectual disparity? And what was your attitude and experience growing up with this disparity? For myself, I love my wife dearly and she is a kind and loving person, but the intellectually disparity is a cause of disappointment at times. Of course, I don't express that directly. I just lower try to lower my expectations and find intellectual stimulation in other arenas.
- thorstenn 6y ago
  I would buy lots of childrens books and read aloud when possible. If you can make reading a natural activity your kid will benefit greatly later on.
- qwert12345887 6y ago
  +1 to this, how can help cultivate curiosity for a willing adult participant
- qznc 6y ago
  Sounds like my situation. I cope in a similar way. What i tell myself is that a happy mom is probably more significant than most scientific advice about average kids. I think twice or thrice if i really want to push for something. One example I would have pushed for is "no rewards for good grades but for effort" but she actually agreed immediately.
- telesilla 6y ago
  Books about everything and instill a fierce love of them. Sci-fi, how-to, science, classic literature.. I grew up this way and my mum was proud of me even if she couldn't participate, it was enough.
- ssivark 6y ago
  > (at least in my own evaluation) am an intellectually curious person. My wife is comparatively uneducated, not a good thinker and not very curious at all. I get what you mean, but I’ll add the following: I’m sure she loves the child as much as you do, and wants it to turn out well and happy. Books and formal knowledge are only a small part of human understanding; if your wife is kind and loving, chances are she understands certain things (esp human aspects) better than any book can teach. I’m sure your child will find a lot to learn from her too (and so could you) :-)
  - programmerisme 6y ago
    This is wisdom right here that I need to apply. Thank you.
- 6y ago

programmerisme 6y ago

Your parents' situation describes my marriage somewhat. I'm a software developer and (at least in my own evaluation) am an intellectually curious person. My wife is comparatively uneducated, not a good thinker and not very curious at all. We had our first baby this year and I'm the one who does all the research and evaluation to ensure that we're taking care of our baby well and doing the things to help our child be setup for success later in life. The problem is I work full time and she stays at home and is the primary caretaker. So I'm not there most of the time to give intellectual input. As someone who seems to have grown up in similar circumstances, do you have any advice to make the best of this situation? And just curious. Don't have to answer if this is too personal. How was the dynamic between your parents given the intellectual disparity? And what was your attitude and experience growing up with this disparity? For myself, I love my wife dearly and she is a kind and loving person, but the intellectually disparity is a cause of disappointment at times. Of course, I don't express that directly. I just lower try to lower my expectations and find intellectual stimulation in other arenas.

thorstenn 6y ago
I would buy lots of childrens books and read aloud when possible. If you can make reading a natural activity your kid will benefit greatly later on.
qwert12345887 6y ago
+1 to this, how can help cultivate curiosity for a willing adult participant
qznc 6y ago
Sounds like my situation. I cope in a similar way. What i tell myself is that a happy mom is probably more significant than most scientific advice about average kids. I think twice or thrice if i really want to push for something. One example I would have pushed for is "no rewards for good grades but for effort" but she actually agreed immediately.
telesilla 6y ago
Books about everything and instill a fierce love of them. Sci-fi, how-to, science, classic literature.. I grew up this way and my mum was proud of me even if she couldn't participate, it was enough.
ssivark 6y ago
> (at least in my own evaluation) am an intellectually curious person. My wife is comparatively uneducated, not a good thinker and not very curious at all. I get what you mean, but I’ll add the following: I’m sure she loves the child as much as you do, and wants it to turn out well and happy. Books and formal knowledge are only a small part of human understanding; if your wife is kind and loving, chances are she understands certain things (esp human aspects) better than any book can teach. I’m sure your child will find a lot to learn from her too (and so could you) :-)
- programmerisme 6y ago
  This is wisdom right here that I need to apply. Thank you.
6y ago