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Have gone through the same thing. Actually banned my daughter from watching YouTube because she was focusing too much on watching strangers play video games ins

Have gone through the same thing. Actually banned my daughter from watching YouTube because she was focusing too much on watching strangers play video games instead of interacting with us (and sometimes even her friends). Things aren't perfect, but I've definitely seen an improvement.

ralfhn 8y ago
My 5yrs old does exactly the same. We restricted video games to only Saturdays so now he watches random people play video games on youtube all week. We're going to ban Youtube as well at least during the weekdays.
- grumdan 8y ago
  This complete speculation from my side, but I would think that playing video games themselves to be better (or less harmful) than just watching other players. If I had kids, I would be more likely to limit how much they can watch others play and let them play themselves more. This is however hugely biased from having played a lot of video games as a kid and I felt it to be much more dynamic experience that may even help developing some mental faculties than passively watching anything.
  - the_gipsy 8y ago
    Maybe play some videogames with your kids, if that’s what they like to do.
    - Consultant32452 8y ago
      OP here. In my case any "group screen time" does not count as "screen time" with regards to her viewing limits. My daughter really likes Dr. Who. If we sit down as a family and watch it together, that does not count against her screen time. Playing video games in a group does not count against screen time. Playing video games alone that includes physical activity/exercise such as the "Just Dance" games does not count against screen time. Watching any educational videos including Youtube videos teaching her how to do a craft does not count against her screen time (because an activity is involved). In spite of all these exceptions what she wants to do most is hole herself off from her friends and family to consume her addiction fuel. If it were as easy as playing a video game with her, that would be wonderful.
      - Zak 8y ago
        Are there any other activities she does for enjoyment that are solitary? I ask because you're primarily contrasting the solitary video watching that appears to be very important to your daughter with activities that involve others. You then emphasize the solitary nature of the activity with phrases like "hole herself off". It sounds like, in part, she might be seeking solitude. I certainly won't deny that Youtube and others encourage habitual, compulsive, or addictive behaviors in the name of "engagement", but that may not be the only thing going on.
        therealx 8y ago
        Good point. Maybe also she watches in order to relate to other kids the next day or so? The kid version of everyone around a watercooler talking about Game of Thrones or whatever. Its plausible that friends follow the same channels.
        Consultant32452 8y ago
        Please stop treating me as if I'm incapable of the most trivial level of problem solving as it pertains to my own child's behavior. It's insulting. Not only does she have tons of freedom to do activities alone, I specifically listed some screen related ones that do not count against "screen time" because they involve an activity like crafts or dancing or are educational.
        Zak 8y ago
        I am not. I do not believe myself competent to solve the parenting problems of a stranger on the internet. Rather, I am trying to bring more details of the anecdote you shared into the discussion.
        Consultant32452 8y ago
        No, you were implying that I didn't provide you enough information to convince you personally that my daughter was actually exhibiting addictive behaviors. Watching YouTube videos is fine. Seeking solitude is fine. What defines addiction is not what your behavior is, it's whether or not the behavior is disrupting your life. So remarking that it sounds like she just wants to seek some solitude is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if she was "just" seeking some solitude or "just" using some drugs or "just" gambling or "just" shopping. It only matters whether those behaviors are disrupting her life. And I've made it clear that was the case by using language that includes the word addiction.
- abraae 8y ago
  Slippery slope! We're locked into this segmentation as well. There's no end to the rule making. Our current position (which changes it seems every few weeks) is: Rubbish stuff - 10 minutes per day - most youtube videos, especially vloggers in baseball caps doing Minecraft TV - 20 minutes per day (exception because....as parents we both used to watch a fair bit of TV after school) Worthy stuff - up to an hour a day - Nature documentaries - TED talks - youtube to research interesting things (currently Minecraft but only redstone) I wouldn't wish enforcing this sort of regime on anyone.
  - omaranto 8y ago
    I'd suggest moving the TED talks to the rubbish category. Seems safer and easier than sifting through the pile of TED talks to find the few good ones.

ralfhn 8y ago

My 5yrs old does exactly the same. We restricted video games to only Saturdays so now he watches random people play video games on youtube all week. We're going to ban Youtube as well at least during the weekdays.

grumdan 8y ago
This complete speculation from my side, but I would think that playing video games themselves to be better (or less harmful) than just watching other players. If I had kids, I would be more likely to limit how much they can watch others play and let them play themselves more. This is however hugely biased from having played a lot of video games as a kid and I felt it to be much more dynamic experience that may even help developing some mental faculties than passively watching anything.
- the_gipsy 8y ago
  Maybe play some videogames with your kids, if that’s what they like to do.
  - Consultant32452 8y ago
    OP here. In my case any "group screen time" does not count as "screen time" with regards to her viewing limits. My daughter really likes Dr. Who. If we sit down as a family and watch it together, that does not count against her screen time. Playing video games in a group does not count against screen time. Playing video games alone that includes physical activity/exercise such as the "Just Dance" games does not count against screen time. Watching any educational videos including Youtube videos teaching her how to do a craft does not count against her screen time (because an activity is involved). In spite of all these exceptions what she wants to do most is hole herself off from her friends and family to consume her addiction fuel. If it were as easy as playing a video game with her, that would be wonderful.
    - Zak 8y ago
      Are there any other activities she does for enjoyment that are solitary? I ask because you're primarily contrasting the solitary video watching that appears to be very important to your daughter with activities that involve others. You then emphasize the solitary nature of the activity with phrases like "hole herself off". It sounds like, in part, she might be seeking solitude. I certainly won't deny that Youtube and others encourage habitual, compulsive, or addictive behaviors in the name of "engagement", but that may not be the only thing going on.
      - therealx 8y ago
        Good point. Maybe also she watches in order to relate to other kids the next day or so? The kid version of everyone around a watercooler talking about Game of Thrones or whatever. Its plausible that friends follow the same channels.
      - Consultant32452 8y ago
        Please stop treating me as if I'm incapable of the most trivial level of problem solving as it pertains to my own child's behavior. It's insulting. Not only does she have tons of freedom to do activities alone, I specifically listed some screen related ones that do not count against "screen time" because they involve an activity like crafts or dancing or are educational.
        Zak 8y ago
        I am not. I do not believe myself competent to solve the parenting problems of a stranger on the internet. Rather, I am trying to bring more details of the anecdote you shared into the discussion.
        Consultant32452 8y ago
        No, you were implying that I didn't provide you enough information to convince you personally that my daughter was actually exhibiting addictive behaviors. Watching YouTube videos is fine. Seeking solitude is fine. What defines addiction is not what your behavior is, it's whether or not the behavior is disrupting your life. So remarking that it sounds like she just wants to seek some solitude is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if she was "just" seeking some solitude or "just" using some drugs or "just" gambling or "just" shopping. It only matters whether those behaviors are disrupting her life. And I've made it clear that was the case by using language that includes the word addiction.
abraae 8y ago
Slippery slope! We're locked into this segmentation as well. There's no end to the rule making. Our current position (which changes it seems every few weeks) is: Rubbish stuff - 10 minutes per day - most youtube videos, especially vloggers in baseball caps doing Minecraft TV - 20 minutes per day (exception because....as parents we both used to watch a fair bit of TV after school) Worthy stuff - up to an hour a day - Nature documentaries - TED talks - youtube to research interesting things (currently Minecraft but only redstone) I wouldn't wish enforcing this sort of regime on anyone.
- omaranto 8y ago
  I'd suggest moving the TED talks to the rubbish category. Seems safer and easier than sifting through the pile of TED talks to find the few good ones.