8 ms·

I am not laughing at you. I can't see how what some women experience at the point of orgasm has anything at all to do with what happens during a sexual assault

I am not laughing at you. I can't see how what some women experience at the point of orgasm has anything at all to do with what happens during a sexual assault or our social expectations of behaviour. > I strongly suspect this element is a significant factor in many social norms that establish different expectations for male and female sexual behavior. Please explain. Just saying "I am female" doesn't help here. I want to understand your position. From another comment you made: > My conclusion is that women generally value "love" and a serious relationship over casual encounters because a somewhat high degree of trust is a prerequisite for female orgasm to occur. > So, when a woman is trying to arrange a relationship, she is really just trying to get off. It just isn't as readily apparent as the male process because the timeframe is longer and the process is more convoluted. These sentences don't seem to follow in my mind. Maybe one person is mocking you with the LOL. They're an idiot. Ignore them. Perhaps the rest of us just don't seem able to follow your argument. I'm afraid I can't. You're not being dismissed. I just find what you are saying hard to understand.

Mz 9y ago
It is about 4:30 am where I am. I should be asleep, but I am failing to sleep. So, I am not at my best here and most of the replies to me in this particular thread have been far from ideal. But here is my take on it: I have spent a great many years trying to understand my own sexuality through the lens of "what is different about male and female sexuality?" Men like porn. Women like erotica. This is a gender difference. I don't think this is a gender difference that it makes any sense to attribute to socialization. I did a ton of therapy. I have spent a lot of years dismantling whatever cultural programming I had surrounding my sexuality. It still doesn't work like male sexuality. If a woman loses alertness that a man does not, she is more vulnerable during sex than a man is in some very important ways. So she needs to trust that man in ways he does not need to trust her. This is compounded by the average size and strength difference. Trust gets perceived through emotion. A high degree of trust and experience of being treated especially well gets experienced as romantic love. Women are looking for "love." I think we do this because we need to be in a safe relationship to let loose and experience orgasm. I think this is a factor in why women are so much more likely than men to have trouble reaching orgasm. I was frigid in my youth. I have firsthand experience with overcoming that. Trusting a man was a critical ingredient. I married that man. A lot of women wind up obsessing about things like wedding details. I think this is a symbolic representation of love and commitment. If what you get off on is emotional bonding and trust, how do you represent that in your own mind? Porn and erotic book covers aimed at the female market face substantial challenges in determining how you represent what women want. I puzzled over it myself for a long time. Various men that I had an emotional connection to but never actually met in person helped me sort this out. So my remarks grow out of decades of studying the topic and trying to figure out what makes my own sexuality work. I hate that loss of cognitive function. I need to really trust a man to accept it. In the absence of trust, no, I can't get off. The mental walls don't drop. Orgasm is a non starter. Societal norms expect women to be more conservative, more "moral" and to meet tests like "save it for marriage." Societal norms are much more cavalier about casual sex being okay for men. I think there are biological differences driving these social norms. Pregnancy is one. This brain difference is another. I don't know if that is at all clear. But I am stopping there. I need to attempt to sleep.

Mz 9y ago

It is about 4:30 am where I am. I should be asleep, but I am failing to sleep. So, I am not at my best here and most of the replies to me in this particular thread have been far from ideal. But here is my take on it: I have spent a great many years trying to understand my own sexuality through the lens of "what is different about male and female sexuality?" Men like porn. Women like erotica. This is a gender difference. I don't think this is a gender difference that it makes any sense to attribute to socialization. I did a ton of therapy. I have spent a lot of years dismantling whatever cultural programming I had surrounding my sexuality. It still doesn't work like male sexuality. If a woman loses alertness that a man does not, she is more vulnerable during sex than a man is in some very important ways. So she needs to trust that man in ways he does not need to trust her. This is compounded by the average size and strength difference. Trust gets perceived through emotion. A high degree of trust and experience of being treated especially well gets experienced as romantic love. Women are looking for "love." I think we do this because we need to be in a safe relationship to let loose and experience orgasm. I think this is a factor in why women are so much more likely than men to have trouble reaching orgasm. I was frigid in my youth. I have firsthand experience with overcoming that. Trusting a man was a critical ingredient. I married that man. A lot of women wind up obsessing about things like wedding details. I think this is a symbolic representation of love and commitment. If what you get off on is emotional bonding and trust, how do you represent that in your own mind? Porn and erotic book covers aimed at the female market face substantial challenges in determining how you represent what women want. I puzzled over it myself for a long time. Various men that I had an emotional connection to but never actually met in person helped me sort this out. So my remarks grow out of decades of studying the topic and trying to figure out what makes my own sexuality work. I hate that loss of cognitive function. I need to really trust a man to accept it. In the absence of trust, no, I can't get off. The mental walls don't drop. Orgasm is a non starter. Societal norms expect women to be more conservative, more "moral" and to meet tests like "save it for marriage." Societal norms are much more cavalier about casual sex being okay for men. I think there are biological differences driving these social norms. Pregnancy is one. This brain difference is another. I don't know if that is at all clear. But I am stopping there. I need to attempt to sleep.