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If a woman said she's interested in you, never calls back, and says SHE will call YOU, you wouldn't have hope and stay interested? I don't understand why this

If a woman said she's interested in you, never calls back, and says SHE will call YOU, you wouldn't have hope and stay interested? I don't understand why this thread seems to be going out of their way to shit on this guy. It's not like Apple said "eh" and didn't respond, they kept saying they'd get back to him and never bothered. It's called leading someone on, it's rude, and I'm startled at the number of excuses that are being made for this guy.

carbocation 16y ago
> If a woman said she's interested in you, never calls back, and says SHE will call YOU, you wouldn't have hope and stay interested? Wait, what? This is the classic way by which someone expresses that they are not interested without saying so directly. Don't call us; we'll call you.
- zackattack 16y ago
  I disagree. It can often mean what it says it means. But if body language is negative, don't count on a call back.
  - hnote 16y ago
    Are you an Asker or a Guesser? http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-life-asker-guesser http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-li...
    - zackattack 16y ago
      I'm an Asker but I don't know why I was downvoted. Two months ago I saw a woman in a coffee shop and hit on her. I invited her to go out with me and see Taming Your Dragon In 3-D. She declined and said it was lame. But she took my number and said she'd call me and invite me to a beach party some time. I never got a call from her, and even saw her again in the same coffee shop, but didn't bring it up. She called me today to invite me out this weekend to a beach party. My point is that you can never predict these things. If someone is giving you the "polite yes" or the "polite maybe" but is giving you bad vibes via body language, then you can use that to help gauge your interpretation.
- drivebyacct 16y ago
  That's shitty and I still can't believe people are making excuses for this type of behavior. It's pathetic.
  - drivebyacct 16y ago
    Most pathetic downmodding I've seen on HN. This isn't even passive aggressive, this is just being a shitty human being. Fuck you all. It's really cool that HN is going the reddit route of downmodding comments that they disagree with. Although I don't even think my comments would have been downmodded over there. Because we're all hip and "hackers" at HN we just tolerate and expect people to be shitty to each other in the business world. Real cool guys.
    - jrockway 16y ago
      . <-- The world's smallest violin.
    - jfarmer 16y ago
      People are downvoting you because your response was so acerbic. This reply isn't helping.
      - drivebyacct 16y ago
        No it's not. Point out what was so "acerbic" in my original reply. I've read it twice now and there's nothing out of line in it. The only emotion I injected was "I am startled". Yeah, really `acid in temper or mood`. Especially when * ironically* I was addressing the acerbic comments being pointed at the author for ACTUALLY BELIEVING people when they told him they were interested. Is it opposite day on HN or did I miss a memo?
        jfarmer 16y ago
        I didn't say it was out of line, just acerbic. "shitty" "can't believe" "pathetic" Strong words. HN will generally downvote strong displays of negative emotions, especially if it's something purely subjective. It was also slightly accusatory, saying other HN users were "making excuses" for this behavior. There's some ambiguity as to whether you meant the behavior itself was pathetic or the people "making excuses" were pathetic. I think you meant the latter. Maybe this is an easier way to understand it: imagine you're in a room filled with people talking about this issue, and you stood up and said what you said out loud. How do you expect people to react? Positively? I can't believe I'm explaining this in such detail. Haha.
deleted 16y ago
[deleted]
Tichy 16y ago
I don't think the point is to "shit on this guy". The point is to learn and hopefully have a better experience next time. As for the woman, the odds are not looking good in such a situation.
- drivebyacct 16y ago
  lul just shit on her amirite
  - hugh3 16y ago
    Are you still complaining that you don't know why you're getting downmodded?
    - drivebyacct 16y ago
      No, I've lost interest in bothering, I'm pretty much just mocking it now. My comment just above and the comment comparing reddit to HN, I fully expected to get downmodded. The other comments were simply chastising HN's mockery of the guy that actually believed what the Apple engineer said and IMO do not deserve to be downmodded.
jseliger 16y ago
If a woman said she's interested in you, never calls back, and says SHE will call YOU, you wouldn't have hope and stay interested? No. Whoever writes Roissy in DC: http://roissy.wordpress.com/ http://roissy.wordpress.com/ is an asshole but also hilarious. It might be worth reading. In addition, the reason people are ragging on this guy is because a) the behavior is typical and b) not surprising from the POV of Apple. In addition, the guy is making the mistake PG writes about in Two Kinds of Judgment: http://paulgraham.com/judgement.html http://paulgraham.com/judgement.html .

carbocation 16y ago

> If a woman said she's interested in you, never calls back, and says SHE will call YOU, you wouldn't have hope and stay interested? Wait, what? This is the classic way by which someone expresses that they are not interested without saying so directly. Don't call us; we'll call you.

zackattack 16y ago
I disagree. It can often mean what it says it means. But if body language is negative, don't count on a call back.
- hnote 16y ago
  Are you an Asker or a Guesser? http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-life-asker-guesser http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/08/change-li...
  - zackattack 16y ago
    I'm an Asker but I don't know why I was downvoted. Two months ago I saw a woman in a coffee shop and hit on her. I invited her to go out with me and see Taming Your Dragon In 3-D. She declined and said it was lame. But she took my number and said she'd call me and invite me to a beach party some time. I never got a call from her, and even saw her again in the same coffee shop, but didn't bring it up. She called me today to invite me out this weekend to a beach party. My point is that you can never predict these things. If someone is giving you the "polite yes" or the "polite maybe" but is giving you bad vibes via body language, then you can use that to help gauge your interpretation.
drivebyacct 16y ago
That's shitty and I still can't believe people are making excuses for this type of behavior. It's pathetic.
- drivebyacct 16y ago
  Most pathetic downmodding I've seen on HN. This isn't even passive aggressive, this is just being a shitty human being. Fuck you all. It's really cool that HN is going the reddit route of downmodding comments that they disagree with. Although I don't even think my comments would have been downmodded over there. Because we're all hip and "hackers" at HN we just tolerate and expect people to be shitty to each other in the business world. Real cool guys.
  - jrockway 16y ago
    . <-- The world's smallest violin.
  - jfarmer 16y ago
    People are downvoting you because your response was so acerbic. This reply isn't helping.
    - drivebyacct 16y ago
      No it's not. Point out what was so "acerbic" in my original reply. I've read it twice now and there's nothing out of line in it. The only emotion I injected was "I am startled". Yeah, really `acid in temper or mood`. Especially when * ironically* I was addressing the acerbic comments being pointed at the author for ACTUALLY BELIEVING people when they told him they were interested. Is it opposite day on HN or did I miss a memo?
      - jfarmer 16y ago
        I didn't say it was out of line, just acerbic. "shitty" "can't believe" "pathetic" Strong words. HN will generally downvote strong displays of negative emotions, especially if it's something purely subjective. It was also slightly accusatory, saying other HN users were "making excuses" for this behavior. There's some ambiguity as to whether you meant the behavior itself was pathetic or the people "making excuses" were pathetic. I think you meant the latter. Maybe this is an easier way to understand it: imagine you're in a room filled with people talking about this issue, and you stood up and said what you said out loud. How do you expect people to react? Positively? I can't believe I'm explaining this in such detail. Haha.

deleted 16y ago

[deleted]

Tichy 16y ago

I don't think the point is to "shit on this guy". The point is to learn and hopefully have a better experience next time. As for the woman, the odds are not looking good in such a situation.

drivebyacct 16y ago
lul just shit on her amirite
- hugh3 16y ago
  Are you still complaining that you don't know why you're getting downmodded?
  - drivebyacct 16y ago
    No, I've lost interest in bothering, I'm pretty much just mocking it now. My comment just above and the comment comparing reddit to HN, I fully expected to get downmodded. The other comments were simply chastising HN's mockery of the guy that actually believed what the Apple engineer said and IMO do not deserve to be downmodded.

jseliger 16y ago

If a woman said she's interested in you, never calls back, and says SHE will call YOU, you wouldn't have hope and stay interested? No. Whoever writes Roissy in DC: http://roissy.wordpress.com/ http://roissy.wordpress.com/ is an asshole but also hilarious. It might be worth reading. In addition, the reason people are ragging on this guy is because a) the behavior is typical and b) not surprising from the POV of Apple. In addition, the guy is making the mistake PG writes about in Two Kinds of Judgment: http://paulgraham.com/judgement.html http://paulgraham.com/judgement.html .