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My problem with your comment is the entitlement you claim to define acceptable behaviour of those being abused "what I demand from anyone who wants to call them

My problem with your comment is the entitlement you claim to define acceptable behaviour of those being abused "what I demand from anyone who wants to call themselves a victim". Also people don't want to call themselves victims, they are victims who may feel able to make that known. Letting a bully know that they are having an effect on you is far from risk free. You also seem to believe that people have no responsibility for making people around them comfortable unless they are explicitly told it is making them uncomfortable. Everyone has a responsibility not to be ass.

mememachine 10y ago
>You also seem to believe that people have no responsibility for making people around them comfortable unless they are explicitly told it is making them uncomfortable. Everyone has a responsibility not to be ass. I do not believe this. >My problem with your comment is the entitlement you claim to define acceptable behaviour of those being abused "what I demand from anyone who wants to call themselves a victim". Also people don't want to call themselves victims, they are victims who may feel able to make that known. Well if they want my sympathy those are my standards, sorry. And by the way this: >Also people don't want to call themselves victims, they are victims who may feel able to make that known. Is not remotely true.
- jakelazaroff 10y ago
  >>You also seem to believe that people have no responsibility for making people around them comfortable unless they are explicitly told it is making them uncomfortable. Everyone has a responsibility not to be ass. >I do not believe this. Let's take this further. If your coworker pulled you aside and punched you every day when you came into work, would you say they were justified as long as you didn't tell them you didn't want that to happen? If this person were your boss and you were afraid you'd be ostracized or fired if you spoke up, are you not a victim? At what point can we agree that behavior is worthy of condemnation without needing to explicitly be told that it's not okay?
- josephlord 10y ago
  If that isn't what you believe you aren't clearly expressing what you do believe and what responsibilities people, particularly senior people do have. Most who come forward aren't asking for sympathy but reporting what has happened to them. What I would ask is for you to stand up if you witness inappropriate behaviour. Some may want the abuse recognised but they all wish they weren't victims. Going public is tough, main reasons to do it are to protect others by either changing the organisation or just waning likely victims away. You stating "Is not remotely true" does not a reasonable argument make, at least put some description behind your opposing thesis.
- bazinga77373 10y ago
  > Well if they want my sympathy those are my standards, sorry. This is the crux of the situation. To be real: your opinion doesn't matter. No one "wants your sympathy". The issue with most of your comments is that you seem to think this whole thing relies on your acceptance. That tone permeats every post. You have a pointlessly peddled very particular logical arrangements that many think are nonsense. And that's fine; we're each entitled to our opinions. Your reasoning doesn't hold up. And whether anyone wants your sympathy for their situation is self-aggrandizement. You're setting up mental hoops for no reason. The popular meme will get their way regardless of you

mememachine 10y ago

>You also seem to believe that people have no responsibility for making people around them comfortable unless they are explicitly told it is making them uncomfortable. Everyone has a responsibility not to be ass. I do not believe this. >My problem with your comment is the entitlement you claim to define acceptable behaviour of those being abused "what I demand from anyone who wants to call themselves a victim". Also people don't want to call themselves victims, they are victims who may feel able to make that known. Well if they want my sympathy those are my standards, sorry. And by the way this: >Also people don't want to call themselves victims, they are victims who may feel able to make that known. Is not remotely true.

jakelazaroff 10y ago
>>You also seem to believe that people have no responsibility for making people around them comfortable unless they are explicitly told it is making them uncomfortable. Everyone has a responsibility not to be ass. >I do not believe this. Let's take this further. If your coworker pulled you aside and punched you every day when you came into work, would you say they were justified as long as you didn't tell them you didn't want that to happen? If this person were your boss and you were afraid you'd be ostracized or fired if you spoke up, are you not a victim? At what point can we agree that behavior is worthy of condemnation without needing to explicitly be told that it's not okay?
josephlord 10y ago
If that isn't what you believe you aren't clearly expressing what you do believe and what responsibilities people, particularly senior people do have. Most who come forward aren't asking for sympathy but reporting what has happened to them. What I would ask is for you to stand up if you witness inappropriate behaviour. Some may want the abuse recognised but they all wish they weren't victims. Going public is tough, main reasons to do it are to protect others by either changing the organisation or just waning likely victims away. You stating "Is not remotely true" does not a reasonable argument make, at least put some description behind your opposing thesis.
bazinga77373 10y ago
> Well if they want my sympathy those are my standards, sorry. This is the crux of the situation. To be real: your opinion doesn't matter. No one "wants your sympathy". The issue with most of your comments is that you seem to think this whole thing relies on your acceptance. That tone permeats every post. You have a pointlessly peddled very particular logical arrangements that many think are nonsense. And that's fine; we're each entitled to our opinions. Your reasoning doesn't hold up. And whether anyone wants your sympathy for their situation is self-aggrandizement. You're setting up mental hoops for no reason. The popular meme will get their way regardless of you